phil fans. here's a new little sort-of chapter. not a lot of plot development, just a glimpse into keely's journal. i think i have the ending all figured out. thanks for the reviews from phil's chapter.

"Journaling"

Dear Journal,

This is the best day ever. I'm in love.

Once, Phil's parents told us how they met when they were about the age we are now. Their first kiss was on a Skyak. And here they are, twenty years later, married with kids and stuck in a weird century. Sometimes I think about Phil and me that way. Married? Us? Kids? Tadow. I know that I'm young and have a lot of life to live and all, but I can't help myself. I know this much: This is no crush. It's something… I don't even know what the word is. Wait. I know what it is. The L Word. It's always been that way. We just hit it off from the get-go. And you know, I think I've been saving my heart for Phil all along. Like since I was born. Even though I didn't know him yet.

I wonder what Phil thinks. I mean, I know he knows something's going on. That whole thing today with the kissing my neck is a pretty big sign… All I do is wonder what he thinks. Is he afraid of where we could be taking our best-friendship? Maybe he's scared of what how we'll feel once this whole thing is "out there." If it'll change what we have now too much, you know, kicking it up a notch. I might be a little scared about that too. Because what we have now is pretty great. I don't want to pressure him, but at the same time, I don't want us to go off to college without figuring it out. Neither of us is exactly the talk-about-our-feelings type. But that may be the only option…

Phil's spending the night tonight and I am feeling all nervous about it. I told him I wanted him to. That's a lot more than I have ever told him before. For once we can have time alone together. Maybe take the plunge, as Via would say. Phil might be eighteen, but he's still such a kid. I'm such a kid. We're practically babies, compared to Owen and Via. I'd never even made out with anyone before the whole "almost-made-out" episode today. Yikes. Great.

God, I love him.

Well, anyway, where was I headed with all this? Oh, the bathroom fiasco. Earlier today Phil dropped one of my mother's tacky garden gnomes on his foot looking for a key to our house. I think I might have scared him a little when I yelled at him when his back was turned. So he's been limping around all night. He's the cutest when he's helpless, like a little boy. While he was kind of half-asleep with his head in my lap, he said he wanted to stay over tonight. And I said I did too. After what happened at the lake today I think this could be a big step for us—I hope, at least. Short of throwing myself on him and demanding the movie-star kiss I dream about, I feel like I've given him all the hints a girl can give. We'll see.

KT + PD : )

OMG. I can't believe I just wrote that... What am I, eleven?

How do I get off on these tangents? Keely. Focus. The Whole Bathroom Thing. So, Phil yells something about a shower while I'm on the phone ordering the pizza. When I hang up he's not on the couch anymore, so I go to my room and hear the shower running in the bathroom. He had laid out all his clothes on the bed, including the cutest boxers ever with little golden retrievers all over them. (I made him buy them one day when I brought him shopping. He said okay to dogs, but no way to the kittens I picked out first.) And so he opens the bathroom door a teensy-weensy bit and we're just chatting and all and I kinda think he's not all-the-way tuned-in. So, um, I can't BELIEVE this, but I think I might have caught him looking at my chest… I mean this is very unlike the Old Phil I've known for four years. This is more of an Owen kind of thing to do. To gaze at a girl's boobs… I had lost a button and I had on my favorite bunny pajamas that are kind of baggy and, put it this way, he was totally seeing more than he should. But I didn't want to bust him on it in case he wasn't looking and it was all my imagination 'cause then I would look like a complete freak.

Does that make any sense whatsoever?

But here's the kicker. I liked it. Sort of how I liked it when he got all jealous of that robot guy in the future mall. I mean, it was like a split second, you know, but I was, I guess, flattered. 'Cause Phil never does that with me. It's always so safe and he's always such a gentleman... So he's taking notice, and this is a big deal. I want him to be attracted to me. God I feel like I'm in junior high or something, thinking about it, but this is a big, big deal for Keely Teslow. I wonder if he's ever noticed how I stare at him when his shirt's off…

I just had to wipe drool off the journal… gross.

So, anyway, I'm changing into my new kittenpajamas and I hear all this commotion in the bathroom. I open up the door to find Phil all sprawled out on the floor and the shower curtain's been ripped off the rod, there are jars of facial products all over and Phil's chest is all glisteny from the shower steam and covered in cottonballs. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard to myself. He finally told me I could laugh for real. My stomach still hurts from it. Gave my abs a major workout. I could tell Phil was really embarrassed… But I got to pick the cottonballs off of him so that was pretty great. I can't believe myself. I can't believe how silly and goofy and absolutely ridiculous he can make me feel. Ahh!

Golly. I really love that wonderful, adorable boy.

Oh, there's the doorbell. Pizza's here.

Keely