Disclaimer: I have no legal rights over the characters of Teen Titans.
-Falling Rain, Endless Tears -
"And I can barely look at you. But every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere. Away from here."
-Run, Snow Patrol
'I could have done something. I could have saved them.'
Cold, emotionless, violet orbs looked out from the tower to the cloudy sky as if it were there where she would find the answer to the chaos within her mind. She couldn't feel no more. It was so much pain; so much anguish. She had lost everything. And all she could do was to let the horrible images haunt her over and over again.
Robin.
Cyborg.
Starfire.
They were gone. Dead. And she couldn't do anything to save them. All she did was watch. She watched as the bomb exploded. They were crossing over, unaware of the danger that lay in front of them. Beast Boy was next to her unconscious. Both were trapped in a pile of debris. She was yelling frantically telling them to not cross, but they didn't listen. They didn't know about the bomb. In a matter of seconds, she heard a thunderous sound echo through her ears, and she witnessed as their bodies tore apart in an instant. Raven watched and couldn't do anything to save her teammates.
She hated herself for it.
"Raven?"
She didn't have to turn. She already knew who it was. She just stared ahead.
"Raven, are you all right?" Beast Boy asked as he sat next to her. His emerald eyes watched her worriedly, waiting for an answer.
"You know I'm not all right." She replied unemotionally, "You well know that I'll never be all right."
"You have to let it all out," He whispered. "The pain will eat you alive. It will destroy you Raven."
She turned her head towards him and stared hard at his jade eyes. Raven hated it when he told her that. She hated the fact that he always told her the same thing.
"Damn it! Beast Boy, you have no idea what I'm going through!" She snapped, "You don't know how it hurts to know your closest friends died!"
"Yes I do Raven." He responded calmly. "They were also my friends. I felt the same pain you did. You're not alone in this."
"But you didn't see them die!" She shouted.
The teen turned her head towards the clouds once again. She felt warm raindrops fall upon her pale face. Raven closed her eyes as the sweet sensations fell throughout her body. She liked knowing she could feel small things like this even though she felt numb and cold inside. Everything inside her was dead.
Beast Boy was still watching her. She sighed. She despised the way she treated him; the way she pushed him away. It was just that she didn't want anyone to get close to her ever again. Raven had already lost three important people in her life. She didn't want to lose him also. He was the only person she had left; her only friend. And she loved him too much to bear the pain of knowing he could also die.
If Beast Boy died, Raven would crumble. He was the only one that still kept her standing. He always kept reminding her that there were still reasons to keep living. He was her hope.
'If he's your hope, why do you keep ignoring him? Listen to him Raven. You'll keep on living if you just let it out.' A voice inside her head told her, 'Forget the safety of the people for once. Think of yourself. You'll die by not letting all the pain out.'
"You think you're the only one suffering. Don't you Raven?" He asked bitterly interrupting her from her thoughts.
"You didn't experience their death knowing you couldn't do anything to help them." She whispered silently. She felt the tears threatening to escape her eyelids. No, she couldn't cry. She just couldn't. "I saw them die! Don't you get it? Knowing I couldn't help them keeps killing me Beast Boy. The guilt is eating me alive."
"You know what's worse?" He told her, "To know I can't help you get through this. To know I was unconscious as you saw everything before your eyes. I feel useless knowing there is nothing I can do on my part to help you with your sorrow. We have to go through this together because there is no one else who will ever understand the pain we feel. We only have each other."
As Raven turned her head towards him, she saw him stand up and walk away. It was then when it finally hit her. He was letting her be. No, she needed him. She didn't want to lose him. He was everything she had left.
"We only have each other…"
"No," She whimpered as she stood up to go after him. "Please don't go. You're the only person that I have left."
As she walked forward, she slipped and felt two hands grab her arms. They lifted her up. Raven looked up and met Beast Boy's emerald green eyes.
"It's all right Raven." He whispered tenderly. "You can cry."
At that moment, the tears Raven had bottled up for so long had finally escaped her eyelids. They cascaded freely down her cheeks. She fiercely hugged Beast Boy as she sobbed into his shoulder. She was letting everything out; all of the suffering she had gone through.
He hugged her back and cried.
"It's so much pain." She cried out to him, "It feels horrible. They all meant so much to me. They were the only people who treated me like a real friend. They accepted me for who I was. I could have saved them."
"I know Raven," He said. "I feel the same way, but sometimes things happen that we aren't meant to understand."
"And to know I might lose you is unbearable." She added, "You're the only person I have in this world. I love you too much to let you go."
He hugged her tighter as he whispered in her ear, "Don't worry. You won't ever lose me. I love you too much to ever leave you alone."
Together they cried holding on to each other tightly as the rain fell endlessly from the sky above.
'Light up, Light up. As if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice. I'll be right beside you dear.'
-Run, Snow Patrol
Author's Note: Yes! I finally finished writing my first one shot. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review. Criticism will gladly be taken. I will greatly appreciate it. Thanks!
Much Love,
.BittersweetHearts.