Chapter Eight: Fun in Wal-Mart
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of J.K. Rowling's.
I Am Not Crazy
Hermione:
I was in Wal-Mart! I normally preferred the wizarding world's stores but today, I was glad to be in a plain and simple, Wal-Mart.
It took a little while to find Lee and Neville. Neville was next to a chipmunk cage and was well…basically obsessed with it. When he found out I wanted to send him back, he stuck out his front teeth (yes like a chipmunk) and ran all over the store. I gave up trying to catch him and called over a Wal-Mart security guard. The next few minutes consisted of Neville running and squealing like a chipmunk while the guard who had had a few too many donuts chased him. Miraculously, the guard caught him and held him to the ground. However, he would not stop squirming and the man took out his taser gun. "UUGGGGGGHHH!" Neville groaned. I missed my wand. It would be so much easier with it.
After he passed out, I sent him back to the classroom with the Big-Mega-Giant-Get-Back-There-Quick-Machine. I decided I'd go shopping for the rest of the items. I found them all quite easily and found 101 Ways to put on a Ballerina Tutu with "Blankie Wankie" near The Wiggles section of the store. "Llama Idama, Wary Mama come and get this Tama Hama!" Mr. Crouch rode in gallantly on a llama and asked again if I wanted to come visit his llama farm. After being chased around the store by him for a bit, I managed got rid of him and decided I'd have something to eat as I was starving. I wandered over to McDonald's which was conviently located in the Wal-Mart. I fussed over how they had nothing I liked to eat on the money for about 15 minutes and then decided on a hamburger as it was the only item even slightly acceptable to my pickiness.
Once I got my hamburger and sat down, I began picking off the contents of the burger so I could just eat the bread. I, not paying attention to the world around me, did not notice Lee coming over. He walked right up to me and sat down. I had completely forgotten about him. He picked up the hamburger and smeared the mustard that was on it all over the top of his head. I watched in fascination as Lee picked up the lettuce and shoved it in his pocket. Next, he took the meat and ate it. After he was done, Lee looked as if he was about to do a demonstration. He took the lid off of my Coca Cola and picked it up. Showing me what he was going to do, he opened up his pants and poured it all in, not flinching at all. He then walked off, and I came back to reality. I shot him with the BMGGBTQM and sat down, waiting to see if I would go home. Nothing happened. I decided that I would reanalyze the situation and see if I had forgotten something. I had gotten all of the items. People…hmm…yes we each had four people to get and I had done my job but there must be something I was forgetting. I sat. Thinking. I'm not sure why it took me so long to figure out that one of my best friends was what had been missing.