Finally! People are beginning to R&R my story! I'm so happy! :-)

Keitaro: "Dude, I bet they're just trying to cheer you up because your a sad excuse to mankind"

Aw come on man! This is my first fic! Cut me some slack!

Keitaro: "No! Why should I? You make me look so bad and I barely get to do stuff! I wanna score man!"

You gotta be patient! Things like that come with time little grasshopper

Keitaro: "Grasshopper this!" fingers me

Ah fuck you man! You know what? I have the power don't you forget that!

Keitaro: "Yeah? Well I have the power to kick your ass!"

Please...you're so damn weak even if you DID get it on you probably couldn't pump it once to Mutsumi, even if your life depended on it.

Keitaro: "Oh yeah? Well why don't we see about that?"

NO! I know what you're trying to do, and I'm not gonna let you do it...heeeyy...alright...ok...you can get it on.

Keitaro: "YES!!! HAHA! TAKE THAT MAN!"

Hey Seta!

Seta: "Yeah?"

I got a new playmate for you!

Keitaro: OO "WHAAAA?!"

Seta: comes running in "Let's get busy" winks at Keitaro then grabs him in his arms.

Keitaro: squirming around "NOOOOOOO!!! I DONT WANNA BE GAY!"

What? I thought you wanted to get it on?

Seta: "Come closer Keitaro dear"

Keitaro: "AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!"

Heheh...I love it when I do that :-)

CHAPTER 7

Boxing day, Hinata Inn 4:44am

Everyone at the Hinata Inn partied their asses off and are now settling down around the campfire, either making out with each other or seeing some weird funky colors. In the meantime, Mei had just pointed out that Shinobu was gone. What is she gonna do while everyone is drunk? (and high if you count Haruka)

Mei: "Everyone you must listen to me! I've searched around the entire Inn and I couldn't find Shinobu! Do any of you know where she is?"

Seta: "Well baby...I'm not really fond of young girls, but you...will do just fine..."

Mei: "AH! PERVERT!" Slaps Seta in the face

Seta: gets turned on "AH YEAH! I love how you slap me like that"

Mei: OO "Umm..."

Keitaro: "Listen...if you wanna find Su, you gotta take your top off first..."

Mei: "I'm not trying to find Su! Su is over there humping Motoko! I need to find SHINOBU!"

Haruka: "Well this is what I think.................................fuck off!"

Kitsune: "Why are you so...hiccup...so attached to that little...hiccup...little girl with a natural hair color that defies all physics?"

Naru: "Nonono...you're missing the point...Mei is just feeling left out because she hasn't made out with anyone yet"

Mei: "I DONT WANNA MAKE OUT WITH ANYONE FUCKTARD!"

Naru: "Geez...I said come on to me softly...but if you wanna be aggressive I wouldn't mind" starts purring

Mei: "Why is everyone so sexually stimulated?"

Haruka: "It's the power of love Mei dear...the power of love..."

Mei: "sigh...I'm gonna call the police, you guys sit tight and stay here"

Charles: "But MEEEIII! I wanna touch those itty-bitty boobs you have..."

Mei: "STOP SAYING MY CHEST IS SMALL!"

Charles: "Well it is!"

Mei: "FUCK YOU!" Mei runs off to the phone and attempts to dial the number for the police "OK, so it's 911..."

Telephone: "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is out of service, please try again later...click"

Mei: "OH YEEEAAHHH...that's only in America..." Mei dials the number for the police (I don't really know what it is in Japan so I'm gonna say 119)

Telephone: "Hello?"

Mei: "Yeah, hi, I want to report a kidnaping"

Telephone: "Do you want to speak to the paramedics, firemen, or the police dudes?"

Mei: "Uh...the police?"

Telephone: "Oh, I'm so sorry, the police are out at the moment, please call again later..."

Mei: "HEY WAIT!"

Telephone: "You know...for such a little girl your voice sounds really sexy..."

Mei: oO "Huh?"

Telephone: "So...are you looking for your dear Shinobu? Or do you want to have a hot steamy night of..."

Mei: "NO I DONT WANT SEX! NOT NOW NOT EVER!"

Telephone: "Wow...didn't know you wanted to die alone"

Mei: "Just tell me about Shinobu!"

Telephone: "Well I would...only if you tell me your name..."

Mei: "Tell me yours first"

Telephone: "If I must...my name is Kai Hue, and I, indeed, kidnaped this sexually repressed child of whom you call 'Shinobu'"

Mei: "Kai right? Where are you right now?"

Kai: "If I told you that, you'd find me out too quickly"

Mei: "...what do you want for her?"

Kai: "I dunno...I got all the young females I need"

Mei: "There's more than one?"

Kai: "99 to be exact"

Mei: "Are you a pedophile or something?"

Kai: "Possibly, if you see me that way"

Mei: "Stop talking in riddle!"

Kai: "Stop being so goddamn innocent!"

Mei: "What if...I give you myself in place of Shinobu?"

Kai: "Fuck no! You don't even sound like an attractive person"

Mei: "How attractive do you want me to be?"

Kai: "Look...the only way you'll get her back, is either...kicking my ass or...kicking my ass really"

Mei: "Well...I guess you don't wanna know how I always leave the guys happy after the night we usually have" giggles

Kai: "Stop trying! By the sounds of it, you even sound flat, I don't even have to see you to know it!"

Mei: "Why does everyone..."

Kai: "Because you're too much off a fucking nerd, who doesn't care about anything except the good of mankind...you gotta wake up and get a good swift kick in the crotch from reality...ITS NOT PERFECT AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO YOU CAN NEVER MAKE IT THAT WAY!"

Mei: "..."

Kai: "Anyways, my cookies are burning so I must go"

Mei: "Hey wait! How come you're leaving? I thought you sabotaged the emergency line to talk to me"

Kai: "Ever heard of a WRONG NUMBER?!?!?!"

Mei: "Oh..."

Kai: "Enough of you...I'm gonna eat my delicious cookies IF YOU DONT MIND! click"

Mei: "What the fuck?"

Frustrated, Mei paces herself through the lobby where everyone was still getting drunk and high off of whatever the hell there was. Mei was greatly determined to get Shinobu back for whatever reason and decided to do the impossible.

Mei: "Hey Charles..."

Charles: "What is it baaabeh?"

Mei: "Do you wanna...you know?"

Charles: "What?"

Mei: "Get it on..."

Charles: "..."

Mei: "Milk the kitten?"

Charles: "..."

Mei: "Butter the muffin?"

Charles: "..."

Mei: "Ride the express line?"

Charles: "..."

Mei: "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IM TRYING TO GET AT?"

Charles: "Not really...but YOU LOOK HOT!"

Haruka: "Why do you wanna sex up with Charles? Don't you want me instead? You can milk MY kitten" wink

Mei: shudder "Ewww...."

Seta: "So...why with him?"

Mei: "Because I need him to snap out of his drunk state and return back to normal..."

Charles: "You know.......theres more than onnnneeee way toooo do that other thannn sexxx...."

Mei: "Huh? When did I want sex?"

Charles: "Milk the kitten?"

Mei: "OH! THAT! Yeah, well there's a cat right over there and she looked really hungry so..."

Charles: "awwww....fuck you!"

Mei: "Great...how am I gonna find this guy now?"

Kanako unexpedctly bursts through the front door.

Kanako: "Hey everyone! I heard there's a party in here!"

Mei: "sigh...yeah, but THEY drank all the booze"

Kanako: "Booze? Damn man it's ALCHOHAL, POISON, you gotta learn to grow up sometime"

Mei: "I'm a girl"

Kanako: "WHAT?! You're kidding! I couldn't tell because your chest was so damn flat..."

Mei: "Grrrrrr....."

Kanako: "Anyways, since there's no party here, I came to pick up my cat...you seen her?"

Mei: "Yeah she was over there but now she's gone"

Kanako: "Hm! Oh well...see you later then flatty!"

Mei: "Wait!"

Kanako: "What is it?"

Mei: This is my last resort "Ever heard of a guy named Kai Hue?"

Kanako: "That crazy nut? Yeah, he lives in Okinawa somewhere..."

Mei: "YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?!"

Kanako: "Yeah, I've known him since I was a kid...he used to like touching little girls so that got really weird"

Mei: "How come you're still in contact with him?"

Kanako: "When I provide him with a little 'service' he provides me with all the costumes I want"

Mei: "Why do you need costumes?"

Kanako: "Umm...nothing...."

Mei: "Anyways, aside from that...do you think you could take me to where Kai lives?"

Kanako: "WELL...alright! Just because your face cracks me up every time I look at it...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Mei: "..."

Kanako: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Mei: "So...can we go?"

Kanako: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOD!!! UR SO FACE IS SO FUCKIN UGLY AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Mei: ".................." I'm gonna kill everyone here once I'm done...

Kanako: "AHAHA...heehee...teehee...ah...ok...I'm good now...ok..."

Mei: "Geez..."

Kanako and Mei run outside in the dark cold over the sheet of white...soon enough they come across Seta's car which is conveniently placed over the bridge.

Mei: "You think this will work?"

Kanako: "It better, cause I have no money to get us to Okinawa"

Mei: "Alright! Let's get in and BURN!"

Kanako and Mei enter the van and with bulging eyes and jaw dropping, they see the entire Hinata crew just pleasantly awaiting their arrival in the van.

Mei: "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS DO THAT?!"

Kanako: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Keitaro: "I wanna come toooooo!"

Sarah: "You better take me or else my...my...hiccup...my foot will be up your ass!"

Mutsumi: still touching herself "Oh my...can i come too?"

Everyone else: "TAKE US TAKE US!"

Kanako: "Well if it's sex you want it's sex you'll get"

Mei: "NO They didn't mean it that way!"

Kanako: "Oh...then what way did they mean it?"

Mei: "groan...lets just take them with us alright?"

Kanako: "Meh, fine with me"

Kanako and Mei board the van with everyone else (and I'm still unsure how they all fit in there) and with Kanako at the wheel the crew was off to Okinawa.

On the road.

Mei: "Hey...are we gonna DRIVE all the way to Okinawa"

Kanako: "Hey don't worry about it...this car can do EVERYTHANG!" Kanako pops in a CD to the player and turns up the volume to full blast!"

Su: "OH MY FUCKING GOD!! ITS MY FAV FAV SONG!!"

Everyone begins to hum to the tune except for Su who sings so loud she breaks the windows on the car.

Su: "ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA CELEBRATE, OH YEAH, ALL RIGHT, START THE DANCIN...ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA CELEBREATE OH YEAH ALL RIGHT, START THE DANCIN...ONE MORE TIME..."

Mei: "this is just a dream this is just a dream this is just a dream"

Keitaro: "WOOO! You go Su BABEH! TAKE THAT SKIMPY TOP OFF!"

Su: takes her top off like the full Monty and tosses it to Keitaro "ONE MORE TIME!!!!"

Motoko: "Oh yeah girl! Shake that thang! Come on girl! Shake it shake it baby..."

Kanako: "This rocks my socks!"

Haruka: "You know what Seta? I'm glad we came all this way from the North...we should've fucked each other when we had the chance"

Seta: "Yeah baby...we should've" Seta puts his arm around Haruka's shoulder.

Seta and Haruka began to settle down in the back of the van and fall asleep on top of one another. However, Su was as hyperactive as she always was singing her favorite song and jumping all over the van as well.

Su: "WERE GONNA CELEBRATE!!! ONE MORE TIME!!! WERE GONNA CELEBRATE! OH YEAH! ALL RIGHT! STAR THE DANCIN!!"

Charles: "Woah! This is so cool!" looks out the window...er...the space where the window was "There's like the sun, but it's still dark! This is AWESOME!"

Naru: "You know what Keitaro? You aren't a bad guy after all...so what if I failed that fuckin test...I'll still always love you forever and ever and ever and ever"

Keitaro: "You....what now?"

Naru: "Let's SING!"

Su: "MUSIC GOT ME FEELING SO FREE WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE AND DAAANCE SO FREE! ONE MORE TIME!"

Kitsune: finally relieves herself of being drunk "smu? wha? Where the fuck am I?"

Mutsumi: "Teeheehee! Good morning Kitsune! Would you like to see what my boobs look like underwater?"

Motoko: "No! But I'd like to bang your ass!"

Mutsumi: "Teeheehee! Sure thing!"

Kitsune: OO "What the fuck happened?"

Mei: "its just a dream its just a dream its just a dream"

Sarah: "I need to PISS!!!!"

Kanako: "Oh OK...there's a rest stop riiiiight about here!" Kanako swerves over to the side by a rest stop area and lets everyone out of the van.

Kitsune: a bit sick from the alchohol "Man...what the fuck happened? Mei? What are you doing here? Why the fuck am I in the middle of a highway?"

Mei: "Shinobu has been kidnaped and everyone partied their asses off last night...don't you remember?"

Kitsune: "Except for the part where I got drunk...no"

Kanako: "SO Shinobu has been kidnaped eh? Well 'aint that a shame"

Kitsune: "KANAKO! Hey girl! How you doin'?"

Kanako: "Meh...I've kinda given up on the costume thingy and decided to do something more productive with my life"

Kitsune: "Are you going to school? Have you found a boyfriend? Are you over your incest fetish?"

Kanako: "No, no, and never...I've become Seta's disciple's disciple in the martial arts of Kung fu fighting"

Kitsune: "Sweetness..."

Kanako: "Yeah, well...who'd want to have a girl like me anyways?"

Kitsune: "Yeah you're right...who'd ever want a girl like you anyways?"

Kanako: "..."

Mei: "We gonna get going?"

Kanako: "We gotta wait for the others"

The trio can hear Su singing One more time and somehow began to sing Aerodynamic. After a couple of hours the gang hopped back in to the van.

Kanako: "Everyone ready?"

Everyone except Kanako: "NO!"

Kanako: "OK then...off we go!!!"

Charles: relieved himself from his drunken state "So uh...where are we and what are we doing here?"

Mei: "We're trying to find Shinobu"

Charles: "What for? I thought she was at the Hinata Inn"

Mei: "You were probably drunk at the time"

Charles: "I swear though! Shinobu was standing right next to Seta...oh...shit..."

Mei: "What's wrong?"

Charles: "I DID IT WITH A GUY!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Mei: "What's wrong with doing that? I mean, girls get on girls all the time"

Charles: "THATS DIFFERENT!"

Mei: "Yeah...I guess you're right! Teehee!"

Charles: "...hey...ever got punched on the boobs before?"

Mei: "No. Why?"

Charles: "They say that it brings great pleasure to one's self"

Mei: "Really? Then give it a go!"

Charles: "THANKS!" Charles loads his fist with tons of magical energy and punches Mei's (or what looks like it) breasts which knocked the wind out of her and send her to the ground moaning in pain

Mei: "FUCK!" Mei's holding her chest while she's quivering on the ground

Kanako: "That...was pimped"

Charles: "You're tellin' me...uh...what's your name?"

Kanako: "Kanako...Kanako Urashima"

Charles: "Urashima? Are you a relative of Keitaro?"

Kanako: "Well...not really...but we share the same family I guess"

Charles: "Oh, well that's cool"

Kanako: "Yeah...so...who are you?"

Charles: "I'm Charles...I grant wishes I guess...but Keitaro hasn't wished for any yet"

Keitaro: still drunk "I wish Naru would ride me like a horsey!"

Charles: "OK...a wish's a wish"

The day had began to slowly arise as Kanako was still driving herself on the highway that, as she presumed, lead to Okinawa. Problem was, gas was running low and everyone deprived themselves off the alchohol and wanted to sleep.

Sarah: "I wanna SLEEP!"

Kanako: "Could you just shut the fuck up for TWO SECONDS?!"

Sarah: "You can kiss my ass!"

Kanako: "Look...dude...you can insult me all you want and kick me in the face...but there is no way that I'm just gonna haul my ass over there and kiss that demented, warped, fucked up, birth mark that you have on your ASS! DUDE! That's just wrong! What did Seta do your mother? Did he screw her while you were still in your mom or what? GEEZ! IT JUST FREAKS ME OUT EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT!"

Sarah: "Oh, I'm so sorry! At least I don't cosplay my dad and try to have sex with him!"

Kanako: "I can force you in to doing that! DO YOU WANT ME TO? HUH? HUH?!"

Sarah: "Holy crap...just calm down...sheesh!"

Keitaro: "Hey sistah! How far away from Motel 6 or whatever the hell it's called?"

Kanako: "Just about 20 minutes ok dear?"

Keitaro: "Please...just stop calling me that"

Kitsune: blushes "Hey Keitaro...when we were drunk...did you on to me?"

Keitaro: "Huh? Why the fuck would I want to do that for?"

Kitsune: "sigh..."

Mutsumi: "Well that party certainly was fun! Don't you think so everyone?"

Everyone: "NO! Except for the sex!"

Su: "I WANNA PLAY GAMEBOY!!!!! I WANT A BANANA!!!! I WANNA SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Motoko: "You wanna hump my back like you usually do?"

Su: "SURE!!!!!" Jumps on Motoko's back and begins to hump it.

Motoko: "sigh...I don't even know how I get myself involved in these kind of things"

Naru: "I think it all started when you began to drink that beer..."

Motoko: "Why is it always because of peer pressure?"

Naru: "BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH!"

Motoko: OO

Charles: "Hey Motoko! You doin' alright back there?"

Motoko: "Charles! You're here?"

Charles: "Yeah, I've been sitting up front for a while now..."

Motoko: "You here for same reason?"

Charles: "YUP! You could say that"

Motoko: "This really sucks doesn't it?"

Charles: "All the way Motoko...all the way..."

Kanako: "Well looks like we're here everyone!"

Everyone: "FINALLY!"

Kanako turns in to the parking lot at Motel 6 and gets everyone out. Everyone gathered with each other and head to the counter.

Manager: "Yes? how many people staying today?"

Kanako: points to everyone "This many"

Manager: "Holy shit! I mean, uh...that'll be..."

Kanako: "Oh yeah, the Author can't do conversions so just leave it to American money"

Narrarator: "Hey shut up!"

Manager: "That'll be...um...$12,000 for the night"

Kanako: "I THOUGHT THIS WAS MOTEL 6 NOT SOME FANCY HOLIDAY INN!!!"

Keitaro: "Don't worry sistah! I gots tha bling bling" Keitaro pulls out his Visa credit card. "It's on the house" winks at Kanako and she blushes

Manager: "Thank you sir...this'll only take a moment"

Manager: "OK here's your receipt, your room keys and enjoy your stay!" smiles and bows

Keitaro: "Kick ass! Well let's..."

Motoko: "Hold on! Who's gonna stay with who?"

Sarah: "Well...we can fit 2 people per room cause this is such a crappy motel..."

Charles: "I'll bunk with Motoko"

Motoko: her face lights up "REALLY?!"

Charles: oO "Yeah...sure...why not?"

Keitaro: "I'll go with Kitsune...I just feel like it I guess"

Kitsune: Excellent!

Mei: "I'll go with Kanako since we're the only two characters in the series that never appear...like never"

Kanako: "Fine with me"

Su: "I'll be with Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sarah: "Nah, I wanna be with daddy!"

Seta: "Umm...Sarah...I'd rather stay with a special someone..."

Haruka: "I'd love to be with you Seta" smiles and blushes a bit

Seta: "No I meant Naru"

Naru: "WHAT?!"

Seta: "That's right...I've always wanted to spend the night with my dear Naru...she's always had a pathetic crush on me since high school so I might as well yknow?"

Naru: There is a God...

God: "No, I just like to see you humiliate yourself"

Naru: "What the fuck?"

Su: "YAY! ME AND SARAH!!!! LETS PARTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Sarah: "groan...no more parties...."

Mutsumi: "Umm...who should I be with?"

Tama-chan: "Myuh!"

Mutsumi: "What a great idea! I will sleep with you then! Teeheeeheeheeheeheehee"

Charles: "OK...whatever...I'm tired, let's go..."

Everyone: "YEAH! LETS SLEEP!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In another room

Shirai: "You hear somethin dude?"

Haitani: "No, not really"

Kentaro: "Huh, weird..."

Haitani: "...wanna keep watching free porn?"

Kentaro: "Are you a man?"

Shirai: "Do you have no life?"

Haitani: "FREE PORN IT IS!"

END OF CHAPTER