Finally! About time an 8th chapter popped into my head...I'm beginning to have writers block, so expect for chapters to be delayed than regular day to day ones.
NOW ENJOY! AND R&R!
CHAPTER 8
After Mei had visited to Hinata residents, she had abruptly interrupted Charles' stay and challenged him to a fight. During the harsh winter night, Charles had unfortunately lost to Mei by just a hair. When Mei had returned to the Inn she had found everyone drunk off of their share of alchohol. Mei then noticed that Shinobu wasn't among the group so decided to set out with Kanako to find her (soon, everyone else joined her). Currently, the gang is hanging out at a Motel 6 and is paired up with their counterpart. When will poor Shinobu ever be found?
Charles' and Motoko's room
Charles: back flips on to his bed "AH! I haven't had this much comfort since I was living on my planet"
Motoko: "I thought you liked it here"
Charles: "You out of your fucking mind? This Earth is like shit! The air is so fucking polluted, and what the fuck is up with your police? If someone is bleedin' all over the place on the floor, crying out for dear life, the police show up 30min. AFTER the person dies! I'd NEVER trust people here"
Motoko: "Well, it's never easy living here"
Charles: "Huh! You got that right!"
Motoko: "Well...yawn...I'm pretty tired, how about you?"
Charles: flips on the TV "No, not really...I haven't been using up my magic lately so I'm just fine"
Motoko: "What do you mean? Don't you sleep like everyone else?"
Charles: "Fuck no! If I never use up my magical energy I never get tired, simple as that"
Motoko: "What if you want to sleep?"
Charles: "Then I use my magic to put myself to sleep?"
Motoko: "Oh...that was obvious..."
Charles: "Yeah, so...I'll probably be keeping myself up all night...fly around, jump in the pool naked...lotsa stuff"
Motoko: "Well I was kinda hoping you'd spare a moment with me...alone?"
Charles: "What are you trying to get at?"
Motoko: "Well...hmm...there's a buffet on the main floor...wanna head there for breakfast in the morning?"
Charles: "Sure thing"
Motoko: stuff"
Charles: "Heh, yeah" gives thumps up
Motoko: "Well I'm off to bed" starts to undress "Aren't you gonna turn away?"
Charles: "Why?"
Motoko: "Oh...no reason" continues undressing
Charles: Oh baby...that's the stuff! Woah! THEY'RE HUGE! Well...not as big as Naru's but STILL! Hmm...shaved, that's good that's good...Pretty slim...I wonder where she gets her muscles from?
Motoko: gets in her bed "Goodnight Charles" falls asleep
Charles: "Goodnight Motoko" continues watching TV
TV: "Does your life suck?"
Charles: "Yeah"
TV: "Are you a depressed fucker who just can't get shit right?"
Charles: "Maybe"
TV: "Do you just want a fucking chance in life you bitch?!"
Charles: "Hmm...possibly"
TV: "Then get this handy dandy new fucking amazing pile of shit! BIAGRA this penis enlargement makes your penis ten times the size of your height!!"
Charles: "Boooring" changes the channel
TV: "Do you want a girlfriend? Do you have the balls to ask her out?"
Charles: "Well I already have a..."
TV: "Well no need you pathetic loser! Right now for only ten thousand easy payments of $999,000 you can get this kick-ass blow up doll with mouth sucking action!"
Charles: "Holy fuck..." changes the channel
TV: "Audience...is there a special someone out there...a special someone you want to help get through life?"
Charles: "Hmm...this is interesting"
TV: "Then I bid you...I bid you to PRAY! If you want to help this person you better get on your knees and pray like a mother fucker!"
Charles: "This doesn't seem right..."
TV: "For Snoop Dog's 'Girls Gone Wild' Love Hina addition! If you call this number right now, well throw in this blow up..."
Charles: turns the TV off "Damn...there's nothing on after 11pm at night I wish there could be some fun around here..."
Motoko: snore "Char...faster...fast..."
Charles: oO;; "Hmm...interesting"
Unexpectedly there's a knock at the door.
Charles: "I wonder who that could..."
Before Charles could answer the door, it's kicked open by three guys dressed up in tuxedos.
Charles: "OOOK...and who the fuck are you guys?"
The three guys: "HEEEY KEITAR...huh? Keitaro isn't here?"
Charles: "NO! Keitaro is down the hall you dumbshit! Now haul your ass out of here before I kick it!"
Shirai: "Calm down, calm down...my name's Shirai, and this is Kentaro, and Haitani"
Charles: "Oh...OK...so are you gonna move or do I have to make ya?" crack his knuckles
Haitani: "Look, we're only looking for K' dude...if he isn't here then we'll be going..."
Kentaro: "No way man...he's probably sleeping with Naru...I don't wanna take my chances"
Shirai: "You know we're all doing this for you man, just calm down and repeat after me 'I will fuck Naru, i will fuck Naru, I will fuck Naru"
Charles: "Uh...guys?"
Shirai: "What?"
Charles: "Why do you want this SOB to get it on with Naru?"
Kentaro: "Because it's obvious that Naru has been slapped around by fish heads for too long...she needs to realize that I'm rich and I can afford her anything she wants if she'd just give me a chance in bed!"
Charles: "If you're so fucking rich, why don't you buy her?"
Kentaro: "Because a woman's heart is of no value..."
Charles: "WHAT? That just contradicts to what you just said!"
Everyone: "..."
Charles: "Anyways, my name's Charles...I'm new around here...I'm kinda Keitaro's care-taker"
Haitani: "OOOHHH! So YOUR Charles...I've heard about ya while we were passing Haruka's room"
Shirai: "HAHAHA yeah man...we heard you were beat up by MEI! AHAHAHA I CANT BELIEVE IT! You were beaten by a girl who's so immature, her chest is as flat as paper...heehee...I can't believe you're so fucking weak AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Charles: "Hey...Shirai was it?"
Shirai: "Yeah?"
Charles: "Come over here for a second..."
Shirai: "Uh...OK...now what?"
Charles: takes a swift kick for his nuts "I'm weak huh?"
Shirai: "MOTHER FUCKER!" Shirai falls to the ground holding his crotch and squirming in pain.
Kentaro: "DUDE!"
Haitani: "That fucking kicks ass!"
Charles: "Yeah, well...I lack physical strength yes...but my magical strength is like none other"
Shirai: "ILL NEVER HAVE ANY KIDS!" still squirming
Haitani: "Well Kentaro? You wanna try for Naru?"
Kentaro: "Nah...I'll just get her tomorrow"
Haitani: "But we're leaving tomorrow morning first thing!"
Kentaro: "Ah yeah...that's right..."
Charles: "Heeey wait a second...have I seen you guys somewhere before? Except for Kentaro?"
Haitani: "That's right...we saved your life from being fucked over by the poison"
Charles: "Ah, right...well I never got to see you guys so...why don't I all treat you to something to drink at the bar for my thanks?"
Kentaro: "Can I come?"
Charles: "Sure why not?"
Shirai: "EXCUSE ME!" trying to stand up right
Charles: "Oh yeah...uh...thanks...I guess"
Shirai: "YA YO BETTER GET ME DRINKS YOU FUCKER!"
Charles: "Alright, OK...but first I gotta do one thing OK? I'll meet you guys at the front alright?"
Haitani: "Uh...sure...no need to rush right?" smiles and runs off with Kentaro with Shirai limping behind them.
Charles: turns to Motoko "..."
Motoko: snore "you mother fu...keitaro...get your ass back here...snore..."
Charles: "I don't know how long this'll last but...I gotta tell you one thing...I can't accept you as being my girlfriend right now Motoko...I've seen you try hard so many times but...it just can't work out...thing is, I'd love to be your boyfriend and spend the rest of my life with you if it wasn't for...well..........ah, never mind, talking to myself makes me look crazy"
Shirai: calling from outside "HEY YOU DUMB BITCH! YOU COMING OR WHAT?! ARE YO JACKING OFF OR SOMETHIN?!"
Charles: pokes his head out the window "SHUT UP TWIT! ILL BE THERE IN A FUCKING SECOND!"
Charles turns himself back to Motoko and covers her with extra blankets. While the trio was waiting for him outside, Charles uses his magic to repair the door so nobody would be fined for anything. As soon as Charles was finished he headed downstairs to the main floor to meet up with the gang for some nice drinks at a bar.
Charles: "Hey guys! Sorry I took so long!"
Shirai: "Yeah you better be sorry dumbshit!"
Charles: "What's up with you man?"
Shirai: "Hmmm...I dunno...maybe it's because MY BALLS FUCKING HURT?!"
Charles: "Geez...sorry..."
Haitani: "Well you wanna drive or walk there?"
Kentaro: "Well...I know of a good place that's about 10min. walking distance from here"
Charles: "Yeah...not like I have a car to use..."
Shirai: "That's bullshit! I saw you come here in that fucked up van!"
Charles: "I don't have the keys man!!"
Shirai: "Oh..."
Haitani: "Yeah, so...anyways...I think we should just head for the bar huh?"
Kentaro: "OK"
So the four guys begin their trek to the club awaiting to buy some booze
Charles: "AND I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND THEN I WOULD WALK 500 MORE..."
Haitani: "IS TO BE THE MAN WHO'D WALK 1000 MILES..."
Kentaro: "TO DROP DOWN AT YOUR DOOR..."
Shirai: "DADADADA"
Haitani: "DADADADA"
Charles: "DADADADA"
Kentaro: "DADADADA"
Shirai: "And when I wake up...and I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you..."
Haitani: "Woah! guys! We're here already!"
Shirai: "AND I WOULD WALK 500 MILES..."
Charles: kicks Shirai in the nuts "SHUT UP! We're here!"
Shirai: "FUCK YOU!"
Kentaro: "So uh...any of you guys got ID on you?"
Shirai and Haitani: "We're all old enough"
Charles: "Well..."
Kentaro: "What's up man? You DO have your ID don't you?"
Charles: "I'm...kinda...underage?"
Kentaro: "You're fucking kidding me"
Shirai: "How old are you anyways?"
Charles: "I'm only 17..."
Haitani: "WHAT?! NO FUCKING WAY!"
Kentaro: "How the hell did you plan on buying us drinks?"
Charles: "Don't worry...I know of a way to get in there...heheheh..."
Bouncer: "Yo dudes! could I see some ID please?"
Haitani: "Yup! Here's mine!" flashes his ID card
Bouncer: "Hmm...you look uglier in real life...alright, go right in"
Haitani: "See you guys at the bar!"
Kentaro: "Here's mine!"
Bouncer: "Woah! The infamous Kentaro eh? Well, fancy meeting you here...go right in ma man!"
Kentaro: "With pleasure"
Shirai: "Just hold on a sec...my balls still hurt...." reaches in his pocket "Here..."
Bouncer: "OK, go in"
Shirai: "Ha! Take that you MOFO!"
Charles: "Shut up..."
Bouncer: "Well? You got yours?"
Charles: "Uh...yeah...I kinda dropped it on the ground, can you help me look for it?"
Bouncer: "...sure thing" begins searching the ground
Charles: "Excellent..." Charles begins to foci his magical energy towards the tip of his foot "Find it yet?"
Bouncer: "No, sorry kid, couldn't find it..."
Charles: "Oh...OK" loads the last of his power and takes a nice hard kick to the Bouncer's gonads
Bouncer: "SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Falls over and begins to cry
Charles: "Oh yeah! Well there's my ID...I'll just be letting myself in now..."
Enters the club and joins the guys at the bar
Kentaro: "Hey man! That didn't take long"
Shirai: "Buy us drinks NOW!"
Charles: "Calm down bitch! I'll just get my money" Pulls out a wad of cash from his pocket "I think this'll be enough
Haitani: OO "HOLY SHIT!"
Charles: "So...what do you guys want?"
Kentaro: "Warm sake...mixed with some vodka"
Shirai: "Dude...that's crazy man! I'll have the same"
Haitani: "Yeah, me too"
Charles: "Sure thing dude" snaps his fingers "YO BARKEEP! BRING US SOME DRINKS!! I GOT LOTSA MONEY!"
Barkeep: "Yes?"
Charles: "Yeah, I'll have three bottles of sake shaken up with some vodka"
Barkeep: "That's just nasty, but ok..."
Charles: "Oh yeah, and leave the bottle"
Barkeep: "Woah...OK..." walks off and mixes the drinks
Shirai: "Wow...you're not a bad guy after all man...except for almost breaking my balls in two, you seem to be pretty kool" gives thumbs up
Charles: "I was only taught to self defend"
Shirai: "Against the innocent?"
Charles: "No...well...mostly I kinda felt like it"
Barkeep: "Here's your drinks guys" hand the guys the drinks and Charles pays the Barkeep
Haitani: "Ah...a toast to good life!"
Kentaro: "What good life? Out life sucks like shit!"
Shirai: "Amen to that"
Charles: "So...what do you guys know about the Hinata residents? I mean you dont even live there but everyone knows you"
Shirai: "Me and Haitani are pathetic friends of Keitaro...we thought that because he was such a dumbass and never had any girls, we thought we'd cheer him up...but later, because his life is so fucking hilarious and sad...we sticked by him and created homemade videos"
Charles: "Wow...I didn't know Keitaro was like that"
Kentaro: "Yknow...I don't really care about any from the Hinata Inn except Naru...see I have this fetish towards dominatrix people...and Naru just happened to be one"
Charles: "OOOK...I see where this is going"
Kentaro: "Seriously though...you'd think Keitaro would be dead after all the shots he's taken from Naru and the others"
Charles: "The others? You mean..."
Shirai: "Yeah man...Naru punches his face, Motoko whips his ass, Sarah and Su both kick him in the face, and Shinobu likes to 'unexpectedly' whack him with a frying pan..."
Charles: "...shit..."
Shirai: "Although, everyone seems to be completely oblivious to what Mutsumi is trying to do, and Tsuruko never touched him"
Charles: "Wow...and Keitaro takes all this?"
Haitani: "Yeah supposedly...you see he has this thing for Naru"
Charles: "WHAT?! YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"
Kentaro: "Yeah, you better believe it...like they said, he has a sad life"
Charles: "Let me get this straight...Keitaro...likes...Naru...the dominatrix..."
Haitani: "Yup"
Charles: "Keitaro...Urashima...and Naru...Narusegawa..."
Shirai: "You got it"
Charles: "What the fuck was he high on when he even processed the thought to think about ever liking Naru in his lifetime? Not even I would like Naru...not now not ever! She could jump off a bridge for all I care"
Shirai: "Don't we all?"
Kentaro: "Hey shut the fuck up man! So what if she's perfect, and has all the looks, and the best job, and turns down every guy she sees because of her standards that are so high that not even God himself could reach? So what if she likes to kill people in her spare time? So what...if...she...............oh...I see where you guys are coming from now"
Charles: "THANK YOU! I'm glad you could tune in to reality"
Haitani: "Well there are other nice girls to choose from the bunch yknow..."
Shirai: "I was thinkin' Shinobu, or maybe Mei...nah...possibly Sarah"
Haitani: "Dude...you always had this pedophile thing going on ever since we were you just stop doing that cause it's freaking me out....on the other hand, Tsuruko and Haruka are pretty nice candidates"
Shirai: "Oh come on! Look at you! They're fucking old hags if you haven't noticed! I don't know what kind of facial cream those two uses but it doesn't hide the fact that they're...oh...20 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU?!"
Haitani: "Fine, fine...Motoko is just as good don't you think?"
Kentaro: "I heard she uses her sword as a dildo"
Everyone but Kentaro: oO
Kentaro: "Hey, it's what I heard"
Charles: "She's a crazy bitch who likes to stab people, end of story"
Shirai: "What about Mutsumi? She has FINE watermelons if you know what I mean"
Charles: "Dude, she's like Heero from Gundam Wing...she could fall off a cliff and live to tell the tale...besides the fact that she has breasts to fill a couple hundred mouths, she's the biggest dumbshit I've ever seen in my entire life! I can't believe that she gets perfect on her test scores at the practice exams...it's like she's acting like a dumbass just to piss people off"
Haitani: "Then...what about Kitsune?"
Charles: "You know...she's a pretty nice girl I'd say...I've never seen her do anything wrong, and she'd go lengths to win someone's heart"
Kentaro: "Seems like someone likes her" nudges Charles
Charles: "Well you got that right"
Haitani: "Whoo! Aren't you a lucky man! She's gonna be suckin' out the medicine from your needle tonight!"
Charles: "I meant...that Keitaro does"
Shirai: "The fuck?!"
Charles: "Well, yeah it's true...I've been able to read minds for a damn long time but I've never wanted to tell anyone"
Kentaro: "So you mean...?"
Charles: "Yeah, Naru is all yours"
Kentaro: "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" gets on the dance floor and spins on his head
Charles: OO "That's...man...I wish I could do that"
Shirai: "So...Keitaro isn't a dumbshit after all"
Haitani: "Nope, not very likely!"
Shirai: "Looks like this little boy's growing up all by himself"
Haitani: "Yeah...you think we should tell him we're millionaires and help him with debt?"
Shirai: "Only when pigs fly, my friend....only when pigs fly...."
Haitani: "OK...suit yourself"
Charles: "So guys...you wanna dance some? There's some FINE lookin' ladies on the dance floor"
Kentaro: getting his freak on "That's it baby! Shake it like you mean it! UH! That's right! That's how the body is supposed to flow! WHOO!" spins and does the splits "Yeah! This dance groove rox my jox!"
Haitani: "Woah! I seriously thought he could never do that...you know...I think I'll go dance" a person looking like a sexy woman comes walking up to Haitani
Sexy woman: "Hey boy...you wanna...dance?"
Haitani: oO drools over her massive cleavage "Uh....yeah!"
Sexy woman: "giggles, right this way..." leads Haitani to the dance floor
Haitani: "See you guys later! Cause I'm gonna score! There is a God" smiles to himself while he gets dragged away by the woman
Shirai: "Hey...did you notice something...odd about her?"
Charles: "You mean he"
Shirai: "What! You saw it too?!"
Charles: "Well of course...I can read minds yknow"
Shirai: "He must be one of those drag queens or somethin'"
Charles: "Think we should tell Haitani he's gonna get laid by a guy?"
Shirai: "Nah...his own fault for not seeing it"
Charles: "OK...whatever you say"
Shirai: drinks the rest of the bottle "Well! I think I'm gonna go dance! You wanna join me on the dance floor? Two lonely bachelors yearning for that special someone?"
Charles: "Well...I already...kinda..."
Shirai: "No need ma man! No excuse can beat the excuse TO DANCE! COME ON MAN!" runs off to the dance floor to join Kentaro and some hot chicks who happened to be there
Charles: Well...I just hope she can wait for a little bit longer...I might get used to this 'Earth' after all...but I know I can't leave her behind...I hope she can understand Charles runs off and joins the others
Kentaro: "Hey man! Glad you could join us!" does the windmill
Shirai: dancing with some random chick "Dude! Check this out!" does the wave perfectly with the girl "This fucking rocks!"
Soon a crowd forms full circle around the three and clap their hands to the beat of the song
(Enter random dance song here with heavy bass)
Kentaro: "My turn up!" Kentaro top rocks himself to the center of the circle and follows through with the six step. With perfect maneuvering, he gets himself in to a three step, then two and goes in to a freeze.
Charles: "ROCK THE HOUSE MAN!"
Kentaro: "Check this out!" Kentaro jumps himself out of the freeze and goes in to some apple jacks. While landing on his hands for the final apple jack, he lifts himself up in the air to do a back flip and lands with the splits. "Dude...I rock" Kentaro gets himself up and allows Shirai to enter the ring
Shirai: "Alright...here I go..." Shirai poorly top rocks himself to the center of the circle and does various impressions of the robot. "I know I suck...but that's no reason to stop!"
Kentaro: "That's the shit man! Keep going!"
Shirai: soon gets himself out of the ring to let Charles in "Come on man...your turn"
Charles: "But...I suck though...I can't do shit..."
Shirai: "Come on...stop bein' so pessimistic, JUST DANCE" smiles a big smile
Charles: "OK...but only if you promise me you'll never do that again" Charles walks in to the center of the circle and starts doing the six step at such high speed, it breaks all records. He then lifts himself up in to a head spin. He rotates around the crowd 12 times, gets himself out of the spin and perfectly does the moon walk revolving around the applauding crowd of people
Kentaro: "DUDE THAT FUCKING ROCKED!"
Charles: still dizzy from the spinning "Man...I don't feel so good...I think...I'll just wait outside OK?"
Kentaro: "No hard feelings man...I'll see you there" Kentaro waves Charles off and dances yet again in the circle up-roaring the crowd in excitement and, a lot of other stuff you do when you're drunk.
Charles walks away and outside in to the cold, away from the club and over passing the knocked out bouncer who still laid silenced on the concrete
Charles: "I wonder if he's alive?" checks his pulse "Yup...probably just the shock" Charles waits on the curb of the sidewalk awaiting for everyone's arrival
The sun begins to rise over the horizon and still Charles saw no sign of anyone ever coming out of the club...well not people he could recognize. Charles shrugged his shoulder and decided to head back to his room at Motel 6. On his way back, the sun rose higher than ever before and blinded Charles more than ever. Charles could only smile at this luminescent light and continue walking in front of the road that lead him back to join the others. Within 20min. Charles flew up to his room with no magical energy left and walked through the balcony door which he had intentionally left open.
Charles: "Whoo...what a night...those guys sure are fun to.........huh?" Charles notices a letter lying on his pillow addressed to him "The hell?" Charles opens the letter and reads it to himself.
Dear crazy dude Charles, I had the most fun tonight and so did Kentaro and Haitani...although he didn't get raped in the ass by the man; he already discovered it when he offered for him to give fellatio...but other than that the dance rocked and I the other guys surely enjoyed themselves as well. I know you have a special someone out there, probably not here but who's awaiting for your return. Don't keep her waiting alright? Or else she'll be screwin' some other guy when you return. Anyways, we felt kinda bad for ripping you off your money for those expensive drinks, so we all decided to pitch in to pay you back...although just half of what you gave cause my balls still hurt. Anywho, look after Keitaro for me alright? Oh yeah...you might be wondering why we never showed up...well we noticed we had to leave before sunrise to get somewhere so we had no time to come and chat, but apparently Kentaro said we had time to write a letter this fucking long. Well that's just a bunch of bullshit, but you know there's a back door to the club right? Well now you know. I must be off because my hand hurts from writing all this pointless stuff.
See ya later biotch!
- Sincerely Kentaro, Shirai, Haitani
Charles: "huh..." Charles lays himself down on the bed to relieve himself of the sickness from regurgitating. "Those dumbasses..." Charles closes his eyes for a brief moment and smiles
Motoko: wakes up "yawn...oh Charles! You awake already?"
Charles: "What does it look like?"
Motoko: "Hey watcha got there?"
Charles: "Nothin'...just go have a shower and I'll join you later ok?"
Motoko: oO "What did you say?"
Charles: "I said I'll join you in the buffet later ok?"
Motoko: "Really? Because I wouldn't mind if you..."
Charles: in a deep evil voice "i said in the fucking buffet"
Motoko: ;; "Ahahah...sure, sure..." jumps out of bed and runs off to the bathroom
Charles: "So...they left before sunrise..." Charles looks out the window and watches the sun rise in to the day
END OF CHAPTER