Chapter 3: It was just a Nightmare, Nothing more nothing less
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Link: Noice
Conker: Thanks mate
Mario: What the fuck was up with the ending of the last chapter man?
Conker: Dude I was running out of ideas!
Zelda: Who's nightmare?
Conker: Who's the one who had a nightmare?
Peach: Ooo oo! Me me!
Conker: That just proves how much of an idio-
Mario: Shut up!
Conker: No!
Link: -laughing- Rofl (actually pronounce it rofl like ro-fl) this shit is SO funny man!
Conker: want me to diss Zelda too?
Link: No!
Conker: Zelda is a little magical mage and is a BIG insert a big space FAT Another STUPID Yet another WHOR-
Link: You wanna start? –Draws sword/shield-
Conker: PAH! I gots teh authorzor powerz! –Pokes tongue-
Link: oh-ho that's it! –dashes, 1000 knives fly straight at him at blinding speed- ugh… Zehlda (No, I didn't misspell her name) come hither…
Conker: -walks in front of Link/Zelda- Okay please note that Link did NOT die, I'm just adding comedy! I own nothing of this shit. But the rather screwed up plot of mine! Okay, on with the story. Oh and NINDOZO FOR EVORZ!
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"So… you're tellin' me that their game boss is a pig with two swords?" Peach asked
"Yep"…
Hyrule like actually Hyrule…
"Where is she!" the king exclaimed
"I don't know but Link seems to have disappeared too," the guard continued "so she should be sa-"
The king cut in "What if she has been kidnapped by Link?"
"That's impossible your highness, why would he do such a thing?"
"Hmm… good point, check if there has been any signs of the Evil King around. You have been dismissed!"
The guard saluted and left.
"This would be a good time to strike, I saw where they went. Zelda knows she doesn't want me, buuut eh, I could always ra- no I couldn't, it's only rated T… or I could always kill her boyfriend! Yeah… MWUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"
Actual Mushroom kingdom
"Peach!"Toadsworth yelled, people have been talking about Mario and Peach's strange disappearance, again some people think that Mario kidnapped peach, some think Bowser kidnapped Peach again, but most went with the first idea. "PEACH!" he (?) exclaimed again, "Ah crap," he continued "Where the fuck could they be?" he wondered.
"Heh heh… now's my chance, I can make babies with her! Imagine half Koopa half human, wow that WOULD look funny wee! Here I go!"
()()Now, The building Hyrule Or team one…()()
"WHOA! Look Zelda, it's a walking turtle!" Link said looking at the Koopa
"Well, there are walking rotten mushrooms over here"…
"Wait a minute… these ain't ours!" Link said inspecting it
"Yeah… sho-"
"Zelda can we keep him?" Link was playing with the red Koopa's nose.
"God, it's an enemy trap… and it's WORKING!" Zelda said, (I got that line from Tankmen, find it on NG.) "But then—Aww! It's so cute!" Zelda was too playing with it.
"Z-Z-Z-Zelda… wh-wh-what's that th-thing b-b-b-behind y-y-y-you?" Link said, looking at a thing behind her.
"Huh? What are you- WHOA!"
"Zelda"…
"Yeah Link?"
"Hide me" he whispered into her Hylian ears
"M-M-More like, you hide me" she replied.
"I AM GAN- err I mean, BOWSER—Wait a minute! You're not Peach! And Eep! He has a sword!" he finished the rest in a girly voice "Oh my god, oh my god, oh MY FUCKING GOD!" he broke off the girly voice "Sorry I got the wrong side…" with that he went to the other side of the wall.
"Wow, Zelda?"
"Yeah Link?"
"That… was weird."
"Yeah"… Zelda simply replied. "Guess this isn't the time to get into the 'mood'," Zelda said blankly
"Damn," Link replied.
MUSHROOM FLIN-err… KINGDOM –cough- after this I'm quitting man… TEAM 2 by the way, not REALLY MK.
"Whoa! A skeleton with a sword!" Mario yelled
"Hey! Listen! What's up!" and guess who it's NAVI! –insert music here, I come onto stage- "Oh its Navi clues, Navi clues! Look we found a clue! It's, a Stalfo! Now we only need to find another 4 on: Navi clues Navi clues!" –end the blue's clues music here. PWEASE!-
"O…kay… then…" Mario said
"AHH! Mario! It's the Grim reaper!"
-make Gregg voice- "ha! I'm Gregg the gri--" –Remove voice- "Err… I mean BOW- err… what's my name again? Ah, yes! GANNONDORF! I WILL EAT YOUR BUTTOX! I-I-I mean SOULS! Yes… that makes sense doesn't it? DOESENT IT? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAH! Ehem, I will now be off." He was gone in an instant.
"What in the fuck was that meant to be about?" Mario asked Peach,
"I don't have a clue."
…………………………………………………………………….. (That god-damn guy quit the fag! He was getting a dollar an hour too! Think of all the hungry kids! Think of the orphans! Anyways… TO THE WALL! WASSUUUUUP!)
"Hi" Bowser greeted
"Hi" Gannondorf replied (Btw I'm gonna call him Gannon kk?)
"Got the wrong side?"
"Yeah…"Gannon replied,
"Same here"
"What's your name?"
"Gannondorf a.k.a King of Thieves, a.k.a king of evil, a.k.a Gannon."
"Wow… I'll just call you Gannon, I'm Bowser."
"Hey…wanna team up?" Bowser asked,
"Hmmm… ah!" Gannon opened his mouth to speak "…" he didn't say anything.
"I'll take that as a yes." Bowser said
"Ok, let's go that way," Gannon said pointing north.
"KK." Bowser replied,
"Where you after the plumber guy?" Gannon asked instinctively,
"Yeah… where you after the guy with the blade?"
"And, many other things that he hides only Din knows where,"
"Okay."
"Look! We found a clue! It's Gannon!" I say I'm a dickhead! "Now we only have to find one more clue! On: Navi clues Navi clues!" I run away, in a cowardly fashion.
"I HATE THAT FAIRY!" Gannon said running after Navi (I Live in Australia so we spell fairy like that… or farie I think is how Americans spell it…)
"Well…he's weird…" Bowser said.
………………………………………………………(You'll be crawling back! YOU'LL ALL BE CRAWLING BACK TO ME! Okay, now from this point lots of things are gonna be random. Now onto the AN! Yep it's the end of the chapter.)
Link: Fairly short
Mario: Definitely
Conker: I was running out of ideas!
Zelda: Suuuure you were…
Peach: Mario! Look porno!
Roy: Why ain't I in this fanfic?
Conker: Cause, it's a ZELDA/MARIO CROSS! –Murmurs-
Roy: … o…kay… Conker would like to thank the following people for reviewing: In alphabetical order! Kaiser Aldamon and SilverPocket And please review for Conker to work faster.
All: Till next time on: OnePeice!
Conker: -sigh- I hate this cast…