Disclaimer: I do not own Erik the Phantom, yet, he owns and obsesses me...Neither do I own the rest of the characters. Their lives, however, have woven themselves into my own, and they live in me, to henceforth create their world anew...
A/N: To those writers out there who have invented other women for Erik, and have even mentioned him having affairs with others before rejoining Christine, I say this: it's a free country, and you may write whatever you wish. As for this author, she entirely disagrees with you all. Erik has always belonged, and will always belong, to Christine. Furthermore, he was a virgin before he met her, and will remain such until he either marries her, or goes to bed with her first, afterwards marrying her. This course of events depends entirely on the phan writer. He simply has no room for anyone else in his heart, and I believe it would be quite out of character for him to have sex with another woman purely for the pleasure derived from the physical act alone. Erik is not like other men. When he loves, he loves totally, body and soul. And he loves only one woman in this consuming manner. Her name is Christine Daae. There! I feel so much better now...
Chapter 3: At Long Last Love...
Christine
Years have passed since the fateful events of that day at the Opera House, and yet, the memories are so fresh... I saw a man's heart torn to pieces and bleed before my eyes. I saw a man, whose face belied his inner, tormented beauty, look upon me with eyes that loved with an all-consuming intensity. And I betrayed that man. I betrayed him, yes, because he terrified me. He wanted everything from me, and I lacked the courage to give it to him...So I allowed the choice to be taken from me, and left him there, in his own tortured world beneath the Opera House, while I fled with another, one whose love was but a feeble candle flickering in the wind. I was leaving the raging fire of a love that knew no bounds...
Now I lay on a strange bed, burning with fever,while he helplessly sat and watched over me. I was aware of his presence at some level of my mind. Tormenting dreams attacked me on that bed. I had contracted the fever due to my drenching in the lake, and must have been delirious. I do not remember all that I dreamed, but one scene in particular still lives in my memory.
I had returned to Erik, but this time, he was not alone. He was trying desperately to fend off the mob swarming all around him. He was holding a flaming torch in his hands, which he constantly swept out and around himself, trying to keep them all at bay. I stood some feet away from him, screaming his name, but he could not hear me, as I was encased in some type of glass enclosure that prevented all sound from escaping. I screamed and screamed his name, trying frantically to move towards him. It was impossible. Finally, I screamed out, as loudly as I could: "Erik, I love you!" Still he could not hear me, and the mob was inexorably closing in on him...
Erik
She tossed to and fro on the bed, whispering something I could not hear. Bending over her in concern, I felt her brow. It was quite hot. The fever still had her firmly in its hold. She had also begun to shiver uncontrollably, and yet, she was also sweating profusely. My anguish grew so, that I had to stand up and walk over to the window, praying as I went. In these moments in which my beloved lay unconscious, I vigorously thrust aside my hostility towards that awe-inspiring Being I had despised for so long. Nadir would have been most surprised, had he been with me during those frantic instants.
I prayed as I had never prayed before, earnestly asking Him to save her, as she was my life. Were she to die, I knew my own life would inevitably progress toward the grave. I could never love another. She was mine, and so I told Him. I even acknowledged that He, in His omnipotent mercy, had placed her in my life.
I was completely helpless. All I could do was to try to keep her warm, and stay by her side. So I came back to the bed, and put another blanket over her, tenderly. My eyes filled up with tears.
"Master, I have no right to ask You, but do not take her from me..." Sitting on the bed, I put my head in my hands, and wept as I had never wept before.
Again she spoke. This time, I distinctly heard my name. She seemed to be calling out to me from a great distance. Swiftly I searched under the blankets for her cold, little hand.
"Christine, I am here, my love. I am here, at your side. Can you hear me?"
She continued to toss and turn, but was silent. I continued to speak to her, telling her over and over how much I loved her, and wanted to make her my wife.
Suddenly, she smiled, her eyes still closed. It was a smile such as an angel would produce. Then, quite distinctly, I heard her say, her voice as clear as if she had been awake, "Erik, I love you..."
I was totally undone...I pressed her palm to my lips, kissing it tenderly. She did not awaken, but seemed to sigh, and settled into a more peaceful sleep, although her skin still felt warm to the touch. I decided I could not restrain myself any longer, and did what I had been longing to do for hours. The bed was large enough for two people. I went around to the other side, moved aside the blanket, and got in beside her, tucking both of us in snugly. Carefully, I took her into my arms, lightly bestowing a kiss on her hot forehead. Thus was I cradling her when sleep overtook me.
Christine
He could not hear me, and I knew he would die. Then I would die, too...we would be buried by the insanity of the mob, there, at the very bottom of the Opera House...
I cannot recall what happened afterward. I could no longer see the terrible scene. I was floating now, in what seemed to be a rolling orange sea that cradled me. I felt a wonderful warmth suddenly envelop me, bringing a sweet peace with it. I merely floated, content, and knew that I was cared for. This seemed strangely reminiscent of something, a whole alien world that I could not place... Then I knew. I remembered. This was like the safe, sheltering ocean of my mother's womb...
I do not know how long I lay thus, on fire from the fever, and yet, peaceful and content. Erik later told me that I burned all that night, and well into the next day. It was late afternoon when a change took place.
I now felt an icy cold invade my limbs. Still unconscious, I had no way of knowing that I had been placed in a bathtub filled with ice, so as to bring down the stubborn fever. It was a welcome coldness, after the fever's inferno. It was cold, bitterly so...
I remember opening my eyes at last to Erik's worried face, bending over mine. I was looking straight into his golden eyes. Immediately, I lost myself in them, and did not want to return to whatever world I was now living in. He then did something I had not often seen him do. He smiled. My heart lurched dangerously, and I whispered, "My love, your smile will be my undoing, as the fever was not." He chuckled merrily at this little joke, and, bending his face lower, kissed me fully on the lips. I closed my eyes with pleasure, wishing I could wind my arms around his neck, but I was still too weak to do so. I had to be content with the glorious touch of those lips on my own. He then did something else that was even more astonishing: he lay fully on top of me, putting his arms around me, and kissed me more deeply, his tongue plundering my mouth with the greatest ardor. Even though I was only clad in a thin nightgown, which I imagined he himself had placed on me, I was not alarmed. It was a very pleasant sensation, having him on top of me like that. He was fully clothed, after all, and I could understand the desperate love that had driven him to do this.
He slowly broke the kiss, and, with his elbows propped on the bed, gazed down on my face for a couple of minutes. His own face had taken on a truly beatific expression. At length he sighed contentedly, and laid his head on my left shoulder, his arms still around me. We lay thus in silence for several more minutes, and then he rolled over on his side. He burrowed under the blankets until his body was right next to my own, and cradled me once more in his arms.
"Sleep, my angel," he murmured lovingly as he stroked my hair. "I shall not leave you. You need to rest. Sleep, and I shall sleep with you, forever, if need be."
When once again I awoke, I felt his hand caressing my hair, the warmth of his body next to mine. I turned my face to his, and met his eyes, those beautiful, golden eyes that had always fascinated me with their intense depths. He wore no mask, and his face was dearer to me because of it. I could not take my eyes from his. Unblinkingly we looked at each other, until at last, turning on his side, he drew me closer, and gently laid a feathery kiss upon my lips. I opened them to him, and he took them, gently at first, then with increasing urgency. My body was now entirely pressed to his. He embraced me tightly, and began to whisper my name, over and over, while I clasped my arms around his waist. He broke the kiss, and, still with his lips on mine, whispered, "I cannot think what I would have done if I had lost you, my love..."
"But you didn't," I whispered back, smiling at him. I was immensely delighted when he smiled back, tremulously.
He began to cover my face with desperate little kisses, murmuring my name again, while I lay in his arms, totally content. At last he stopped, gazing into my eyes once more.
"Why, Christine?" he asked, his voice breaking, as the tears began to gather at his eyelids. "Why did you leave with him? And why did you come back?"
I felt the full force of his pain as if it were my own. I would never forgive myself, I was sure, for having hurt him so deeply.
"Forgive me, my angel," I whispered, with some difficulty. "Would that I could take it all back, relive the last few days. Forgive me. I could not help but be terrified by you. Raoul..."
There was a flash of anger in his eyes, and he pressed his hand over my mouth.
"Christine, do not mention that name in my presence," he said, through clenched teeth. Then he hastily removed his hand.
"I...am sorry, my love," he said, as he looked into my eyes with regret. "I did not mean to be rough with you."
I smiled, just as shakily as he had earlier. He had startled me for a moment, but no harm had been done. "It's all right, Erik. I, too, am sorry. I should have known better than to bring up his name. But you did ask me why I had left with him..."
"I know I do indeed terrify you. I will henceforth try to control this fiery temper I have been cursed with. But I cannot completely rid myself of it."
He sighed, then, and turned to lie on his back, releasing me. "Perhaps you were right in leaving with him, after all. The fact remains that I am a monster, in body and soul. Ah, I had conveniently forgotten...a murderer, as well."
I threw myself on his chest, passionately crying out, "No, Erik! Do not condemn yourself so! You are what you are, and I love you thus! I came to realize it as I was leaving in the boat. We are destined to be together. I must ever remain with you, my love."
He turned to me again, and smiled at me tenderly. "How can this miracle be? You do not fear me, Christine?"
"Yes," I answered, quite honestly. "I suppose there will be times that I will fear you. But I know that you cannot hurt me, is that not so?"
"I would rather die first," he said passionately, taking up my hand and kissing the palm. I shivered in delight.
He sighed again. "I may never be able to hurt you physically, my love, but my words...they are another matter. My words are like daggers, and I am afraid you may feel their slashing cruelty from time to time." His eyes took on a sad cast as he said this.
I smiled, for I could not bear to see him torturing himself. "All lovers quarrel, Erik. At times, they say things to each other that they have often regretted afterward. I scarcely think that we shall part because of such inanities."
He could not say anything in reply, for he was too overcome with emotion. He simply put a hand on my cheek, caressing it softly, then gently pulled my head down, so that it lay on his chest. It was thus that Nadir found us.
Erik
Never had I been less glad to see that man suddenly appear, showing his face in the doorway. He took in the scene, then, without a single comment, silently withdrew.
"Nadir!" I called after him.
He appeared once again in the doorway. "I do believe I am intruding, Erik," he said, stiffly.
"Nonsense, man!" I remonstrated, as I sat up, gently untangling myself from Christine's arms. "There is nothing glaringly immoral going on at the moment.''
"I see," he replied, not convinced at all. "Since you seem inclined to speak, I should very much like to have a word with you." So saying, he disappeared around the doorway again.
I groaned, and turned to look down at Christine, who had been calmly looking on, a little smile playing about her lips.
"Please excuse me, my love. My 'conscience' urgently desires to deliver a little cautionary sermon to me at this time."
She smiled indulgently. I picked up one of her little hands, and breathed a soft kiss upon it. Then I stood up, and went to the living room, where Nadir awaited me.
As I entered, he started on me immediately.
"Now you shall explain to me what you intend to do with this girl once and for all, Erik. This is insufferable! You kidnap her, you bring an immense chandelier down upon unsuspecting, innocent people, and then you have the audacity to bring her here, to my home!"
"For which I am most grateful, my dear daroga," I replied smoothly. "As you yourself saw, I had no better alternative. She was on fire with fever. I could not leave her thus, while the mob approached my home. As for kidnapping her, you are entirely wrong, my friend."
At this, I saw him bristle, but I silenced him with a hand.
"Please allow me to continue. Yes, I did snatch her from the stage, and brought her to my home. But her little suitor came after her. How valiant of him! She chose him over me, and even returned the ring that I had given her. I allowed them to depart, for I suddenly had no desire to force her to live with me, if she truly did not love me. It seemed to me that her sole reason for agreeing to remain with me was to save her little Vicomte's life. This despite the kiss she gave me before I let them both go, daroga! They were leaving in the little boat that I keep by the lakeshore, and had even gone through the trellised gate that I had raised for them to go through. I watched them disappear through that gate, as my heart bled within me...The Vicomte was rowing her away, out of my life forever...Ah, but she seemed unable to tear her eyes from mine, daroga, even as he rowed her further along the lake, toward the hidden entrance. When I could no longer see them, I fell to my knees, giving full vent to my horrible despair...Then...the incredible happened! She came back, daroga. I tell you, she came back to me! She had jumped over the side of the boat, and somehow came back to me, apparently swimming through the lake, and sloshing along on foot when it became too shallow for swimming."
The daroga had listened to my every word, spellbound. At some point, his mouth opened of its own accord, and he stood thus, gaping at me.
"She came back to you of her own free will? You did not manipulate her in any way? Swear it to me, Erik!"
I stared at him, anger beginning to rise in me. But this was Nadir, who knew me quite well. He was also the closest thing I had to a relative.
"I swear it to you, daroga," I answered, very softly. Then I added, "She even saved my life."
"How? What did she do?"
I sighed. "My friend, I had been about to put an end to my miserable existence with my trusty, fully-loaded pistol. She walked in at that moment, and found me with the pistol to my head." I shuddered, remembering.
I was satisfied to see the shock on his face. "She loves me, Nadir. She has finally chosen. The monster is saved by love in the end!" I chuckled at my own sarcasm, still disbelieving. "I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ah, but perhaps it never will!"
"And what do you intend to do now, Erik?" he gently persisted, after a short pause.
"Do?" I snorted. The question was totally ridiculous. "Why, I intend to marry her, of course!"