upon populardemand (my faithful reviewers XD) I have edited and posted up Track 4 of "Those Three Words"! Yup yup yup, thanks for the support and keep reviewing! This has become the most popular story out of all of them, almost 1000 hits! Pretty sweet huh? Enjoy Track 4!
It was the same routine the next morning. Yuki woke up first and took his shower, dried his hair, and then went to his computer to try to work some on his manuscript. About two hours after he woke up he could hear that Shuichi was up as well, he ran to the bathroom again and was coughing as if he were to vomit again. The memories of last night came back and haunted Yuki, again he couldn't write a thing and had to shut down his laptop. He walked out of his study and Shuichi walked out of the bathroom, both looked at each other. The silence was piercing but soon ended. Shuichi went right to Yuki and again attached himself to the tall man's body. He rubbed his head against Yuki like a cat. "Hi Yuuuuuuuuuki! Guess what? I didn't get sick this morning! I'm getting beeeetteeeerr!" Shuichi was so pleased that he didn't actually throw up that morning. Sure the hurting and the pinching was still going on with back of his head but at least he didn't give up whatever was left in his stomach.
"Get off." Yuki ordered again.
The cat boy purred and kept hold to his lover. "Nope nope nope! I'm going to make up all of the mistakes I made last night!"
He again commanded that this attachment would break off but again it spoke to him as if he was it's master. Yuki sighed and finally started to try and pry his arms off. "You damn brat... you're holding on too tight!"
"This is the strength of looooooooooove!" Shuichi finally let go but moved as smoothly as a snake and jumped onto Yuki's back. The man cursed out loud and almost fell face first into the wood floor, the singer just kept his arms around Yuki's neck and he rested his head on the man's shoulder. "I'll never let you go Yuki! Never never never!"
Yuki looked down at Shuichi's legs, he had them curled around the man's waist so he didn't even have to keep the big kid up. Then Yuki noticed Shuichi's toe start to fidget on it's own, apparently the owner of the toe didn't notice at all. He kept going on with his loving Yuki speech and kept keeping hold of the man like a monkey. "Can't you ever shut up?" Yuki treaded onward to drop off his baggage onto the couch.
Shuichi just purred again and made a little kitty face. "I'll never stop telling the world how much I feel for you Yuki." He finally made it to the couch and was ready to shake off the animal when he started to nibble on Yuki's ear. That was one of his ticklish, not to mention turning on, spots. Yuki lost balance and fell backwards onto the couch, Shuichi got off just in time to not get crushed by the man but still fell onto the couch and hit his head on the back of the seat. "Ouch!" He yelled out, he had hit the point where it kept pinching. Yuki sat up and turned to him while Shuichi just sat up and had his hands on the back of his head, rocking back and forth. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow..." He picked his gaze up to Yuki, who lost attention to the crying baby and had the controller in his hand to start flipping through channels. Shuichi lay on his lap and pointed to his head where the hardly visible scar was. "You hurt me! Kissie kissie to make me better?"
"You're hopeless." He turned on the television and started to flip through some channels. Shuichi just moped again and kept looking up at Yuki's face while laying his head on the novelists lap.
His face looked so pure and fresh, it was Shuichi's dream come true. He always loved to admire his perfect features. Yuki's cold eyes that protected his soft heart, his pale skin that always hid even the brightest of a blush, his perfect lips that gave the best kisses known to man. He had to stop admiring Yuki's face with the sound of the television, Yuki was flipping through slowly and stopped on a pop news channel. The top story, Bad Luck. Shuichi sat up and watched the show. They spoke about their concerns with the medical emergency last night, even to some eye witnesses that were in the hospital when Shuichi was admitted. The anchor informed the viewers that everything was alright, according to President of N-G Pro Records Tohma Seguchi, and that Bad Luck would be having a live press conference tomorrow at five. Shuichi took the controller from Yuki and shut the television off, then he put it down and leaned against Yuki's shoulder. "Let's get ready to see the doctor." He muttered. Yuki stood up and started to leave to the bedroom to get ready. Shuichi kept his eyes on him as he walked off. "Yuki." He spoke, making the other stop and turn to Shuichi. "Will you ever say it? The stuff I say to you?" There was no answer for a long time.
Shuichi stood up to ask again but Yuki just headed off to the bedroom again. "Get ready, we have to meet him in an hour." Pink hair sulked a bit in place but understood that Yuki was just trying to keep up his tough guy attitude. He knew, deep down, that Yuki did truly love him. He would say it eventually, somehow, and Shuichi would make sure to never forget the moment when it would happen.
Yuki drove to the hospital and both went inside. They called down the doctor that was going to take care of this case, Dr. Kazuma Ito, and then were led into the doctors private office. He opened the glass door and allowed the two to enter. "Please have a seat." He spoke to them while closing the door. No later he shut the blinds to keep this meeting calm and without the media. Again there were two chairs in front of his desk. Yuki took the right chair while Shuichi had the left. Dr. Ito went over to his file cabinet and took out a file, on the tab it said 'SHINDOU, SHUICHI' and placed it down onto the desk. No later he went into his office chair and opened the file. Shuichi had his hands on the armrests of the chair as the doctor started. "Well then, where do you want to begin?"
"Umm..." Shuichi jumped the gun to start. He bit his bottom lip a bit and then got over it. He started to speak, "If I didn't get anything done, would it go away?"
"I wish it were that easy Mr. Shindou." Dr. Ito put his hands together and rested his elbows onto the desk. "A tumor of this size doesn't just 'go away' if nothing is done. Yours has grown into what we call 'stage three' tumor. It is moving up into your brain stem and starting to effect your optic and spinal nerves."
Shuichi nodded, he understood some of that. At least Dr. Ito was trying to keep this as simple as medicine could be kept. Yuki took a peek over to Shuichi to see how he was doing. "So then," The young rock star looked up to his doctor again. "What do you think I should do?"
He took another look at his file and then glanced back up to them. "This is at the base of your head and has grown to a dangerous stage. We can start you on radiotherapy and see if it recedes a bit. If so, we can then keep you on that treatment and closely monitor it. If that doesn't help then we're going to have to go inside and take it out manually."
"Op-operation!" Again he was starting to freak out. Dr. Ito nodded as the boy took in a deep breath, he hated hospitals for a reason. Shuichi tried to think it all over but his head was hurting him a lot and he felt like throwing up again. He put his hand on his stomach and leaned forward a bit. "Umm... where is the nearest restroom?"
Dr. Ito told him where and Shuichi ran out the door, slamming it behind him. Yuki kept his eyes on the doctor as he sighed with discomfort. "There's something you're not telling him." Yuki pointed out. Dr. Ito nodded, there was something important that needed to be told. "Then tell me."
"With the location and size of his tumor, radiotherapy probably won't work." Yuki shifted in his seat as the professional continued. "I will tell him what I think is best but in the end it is Mr. Shindou's decision. I would suggest surgery before it grows any more and infects the brain stem."
Yuki knew that operations on the brain were very dangerous but he didn't know the exact number. Yuki kept his voice low and asked anyway. "What's the success rate of that type of operation?"
The informer sat back in his chair and tapped his fingers onto the table. He must have figuring the figures into his head. "A normal brain operation has a little over a 50 chance of total success. Mr. Shindou's isn't in a normal section where there is a tumor, especially at his age. If you put those numbers together it's a little under fifty fifty." Yuki sighed as Shuichi came back inside, laughing the entire way to his seat. "Are you feeling better now?"
"False alarm!" Shuichi yelled out with a smile, rubbing the back of his head at the worry he must have caused. "All better now! Okay... so uhh... where were we?" Again he forgot what was happening, usually normal of Shuichi but also a side effect of the sickness.
The doctor laughed a bit but continued onward as if this was a normal thing. He knew that the lead singer of Bad Luck was a strange one indeed. "We were just talking about the treatment plans for you." Shuichi nodded and sat back again with his hands on the armrests. "We discussed the Radiotherapy and-"
Shuichi raised his hand again as if he were in school. Dr. Ito stopped and he asked away. "Will I lose my hair?" He pointed at his head when he asked.
Yuki sighed and looked away, this was too embarrassing to listen to, while the doctor laughed again. "No, it is a long term side effect but it's not as drastic as chemotherapy. There might be some hair loss to the area that is being treated but I assure you that it will grow back as normal. It will be as if you just shaved it off for a bit." Rocker boy smiled and let his respectful doctor continue. "There is another option, surgery. I know that you don't support this option but I strongly believe it is the best outcome for you Mr. Shindou."
"Operation..." He looked down again, his hands shaking a bit at the fear of what could happen. Yuki needed him to know the cold hard truth of it all too, he knew that this naive boy needed to know the rate of getting out of that operating room and back into a normal life. "So, a quick one two right?"
"It's not that simple." Again Dr. Ito continued onward with his explanations. "The operation can take from seven to eleven hours, depending on how stubborn it is, and the recovery afterwards will take a few months. No matter what treatment you take you won't be able to perform for almost two years, one year if you're lucky."
He was silent again, maybe knowing the solid numbers wasn't the best solution at the moment. Yuki sat back in his seat and slouched a bit when asking his next question. "What do you think is best?"
"The operation with a follow up on Radiotherapy." Dr. Ito sput out without a second thought. Shuichi spiked his head up and wanted an explanation to why his doctor was so willing to cut open his head and take out some mass of dead cells. "It is growing too large too quickly, even if we take out at least 80 of the tumor the rest can be cured with the therapy. With this plan you would be able to go back to singing in just six months and back to live stage in about a year to a year and a half."
It sounded good to the one in trouble, but troubled the one that it didn't pertain to. The changes were small for success and Yuki didn't want to risk it. He was hoping that soon someone would tell the probability of coming out of this alive. Yuki was lost in his thoughts, should he say anything about the rate of coming out okay? His thoughts were stopped when he felt Shuichi's hand go on top of his. Yuki looked at the boy as he asked away. "What are the chances of coming out okay?"
Dr. Ito tapped on the desk again, apparently he did this when he didn't want to speak instead of when he was calculating, and then stared right into his eyes. "You have less then a 70 chance of being the way you were before, you have less then a 50 chance of even making it off of the operation table." Yuki turned his hand around and took hold of Shuichi's, he needed something to hold on to right now. The boy repeated the numbers in a suddle whisper as the older of the two stayed quiet. "It is up to you Mr. Shindou. You can choose the operation with those rates of success or you can choose the radiotherapy with the chance of it not going down at all."
"Heh." Shuichi took a peek over to his support in life. "Not an easy decision huh?" He kept silent when a beeping was heard. Yuki looked over at the owner of the office as he pulled off his pager.
Apparently it was something important. He stood up and gave them a quick bow. "Excuse me, I should be back shortly." And then he left the room without another word.
Yuki had his eyes diverted to Dr. Ito but then shifted his attention back to the silent singer. He was still holding onto Shuichi's hand and he could feel it get cold with the thought of dying from this. "Go with the operation." He ordered. Shuichi finally snapped out of his little world of 'what ifs' and turned to Yuki. The man got up and knelt in front of him. "Tell him you want the operation. We can afford it and the chances are better."
"Better!" Shuichi yelled out a bit. He took his hand back and started to poke his fingers together with a small slouch. "You really want me gone huh?" He joked. Like normal, Yuki didn't laugh. He just sighed and slouched back a bit in the seat. "But the other one doesn't have all of those bad numbers."
"That's because the other one might not even work." He pushed on. Shuichi never thought about that, maybe that's why the doctor avoided those numbers. Yuki stood up and brushed his hair back a bit. "It's up to you."
Shuichi noticed what his lover was doing. He looked up with giant watery eyes and then jumped to embrace him. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Yuki's torso so tight he almost cut off the circulation. "YOU DO CARE FOR ME YU-" And again the thought was never finished. Yuki took Shuichi by the arm and then pushed him onto the desk, making the boy give constant 'ow's while his arm was being held behind him and his face crushed against the desk.
"Don't do that." Yuki ordered. The prisoner nodded and waited for Yuki to let go. He did so and Shuichi just turned around to him. The doctor came back inside to find both standing.
Quickly they took their seats again as he apologized. "So sorry, there was an important call from my wife and my phone broke this morning." Both simply stated that it was no problem and the meeting got right back underway. He went to the desk and sat down, then leaned forward a bit. "Have you decided?"
"You bet!" Shuichi was full of energy. Yuki knew he would pick the therapy, he knew that numbers weren't exactly Shuichi's strongpoint and that he never took advice from a doctor, let alone even his parents or sister. "I'm going to do the operation!" Both shot their heads up to him as he kept smiling bright, not a second thought shown on his face.
Dr. Ito sat up and shifted a bit in his seat while Yuki kept staring. "Are you sure about this Mr. Shindou?"
"Positive!" He piped out again. He still smiled and kept to his happy self, it was like he just said he would agree to live concert with Ryuichi Sakuma.
He didn't say anything else, Dr. Ito started to go through some papers and got a pen from his white jacket pocket. He took some of the papers out of the folder and faced them towards Shuichi so he could do some signing. "You're going to have to give your basic medical information -blood type and such- and then you have to sign the bottom. I will be doing the operation for you... how does this Friday sound? That gives you three days to settle down and prepare." Shuichi got up and went to the desk, starting to sign the papers as told and filling out the necessary information. He finished the first paper in no time and then waited while Dr. Ito put another one in front of him. "This one is just for normal operations, everyone needs to sign this no matter what the surgery is about. It's a form stating that you have been given all of the information about the surgery and will not sue the doctors taking place if something happens, a simple law form if you will." Again Shuichi signed without a second thought, things were going rather quickly. The final paper was put in front of Shuichi and he waited for the explanation. "This one is if-" Dr. Ito stopped mid-sentence, he saw that Shuichi was already reading it.
No one spoke and he kept reading the print on the paper, then signed the bottom and turned to Yuki. "You have to sign this one too Yuki!" He chirped. The man got up and took the pen, then briefly read the paper. This was in case Shuichi didn't make it out of the surgery, that the one who signed would take up his will and possessions. Yuki was hesitant at first but Shuichi just took his hand and edged it to the paper. "Come on Yuki! It's not that hard to sign your name, you do it a lot after all." Yuki signed away and then gave the pen back to Dr. Ito. "All done!"
"Yes." Dr. Ito took all of the paperwork and put it back into the folder, then put that folder back into the cabinet. After he did that he went into a drawer in the desk and took out a small pamphlet. He handed it to Shuichi and let him look over it a bit. "Keep that, it's all about the operation and also about how things will go afterwards. I specialize in this Mr. Shindou, I will do everything that I can to make you a healthy boy again."
He shook Dr. Ito's hand and kept his big smile on his face. "I know you will! Thank you very much Dr. Ito, see you Friday!" He started to waltz right out of the room but turned around when he got to the door and looked at the driver. Yuki kept his eyes on Shuichi while the boy whimpered at the door. "Yuuuukiiiiiiiii...let's go!" The annoying 'love call' snapped him out of his worries and back into the real world. Yuki shook hands with the doctor as well and then went with Shuichi to the car.
The drive back was quiet. Shuichi kept looking out the window while Yuki didn't want to say anything. The silence was good to for the driver but annoyed the passenger. Shuichi turned to Yuki and leaned to his direction. "What's the matter? I would think you would be yelling at me for making that decision so quickly."
"You did that just so I would yell at you!" Yuki spat out. The boy started to laugh, Yuki just sighed and sped up a bit. "Damn brat..." He turned onto the street that the house was on and Shuichi just sat back in his chair, he stopped laughing and closed his eyes as he sat back in the chair. Yuki then went into the driveway and turned off the car again. He took out the keys but never opened the door. Shuichi snapped back into it and opened his door a bit but the other just took his hand and pulled him close. Shuichi didn't expect this at all, Yuki used his strength to pull Shuichi up to him and kissed him with much force. He again didn't fight back, Shuichi went to his knees and got closer to Yuki. He placed his hand on the novelists cheek and passionately thrusted his tongue into his mouth. Yuki started to push Shuichi down a bit, making the boy fall with his back against the door. When he did he hit his head against the glass and stopped, cringing a bit. Yuki stopped and was hovering over Shuichi as the boy kept looking up at him. "That was strange..."
Lover boy nodded when Yuki got off and tried to get his hair out of his face. Shuichi also sat up and looked at their surroundings, first time they started to make out in a car. Yuki got out of the car first and started to the door. Shuichi followed without hesitation and caught up to Yuki. He needed to grab onto the man's arm as he opened the door. Shuichi closed his eyes and fixed his footing. "I wish my site was right... two Yuki's is a lot better then just one." He laughed a bit more but didn't calm down the mood. He just got his arm out of the grasp, a quick jab out and Shuichi was never able to hold on, and then went inside. "Yuukiiiiiiii." The puppy dog followed inside, took off his shoes, and kept right on the same steps that Yuki took to the couch. When the man sat down Shuichi sat down next to him. When he grabbed the controller Shuichi leaned forward a bit to keep looking at his face. He never got to turn on the television because of the 'being watched' himself part. "Will you make love to me?" Out came the question. He just peeked down to the one that sat down like a dog waiting for his treat for doing a trick. "Right now? Can we make love?"
He sighed, it failed in the car so why would they be able to do it now? Yuki sat back on the corner couch with those eyes still keeping on him and there was no hint of them going away. He turned a bit to Shuichi and imagined he could see little ears on top of his head. "What type of question is that?" He just kept watching Yuki as the man spoke. All he did was sigh and then take Shuichi's hand. He pulled the boy close but didn't kiss him. He kept looking at Yuki while he started to speak. "Why did you take the operation?"
"It was better..." He muttered while slowly closing his eyes. "It was better then letting the thing kill me with that radiation stuff right? I don't want to leave you behind Yuki." Shuichi just hugged the man he loved, Yuki had one hand around Shuichi's waist and the other gently petting his head. "I never want to leave you, I never want to see you cry again. I don't care if you don't smile, I know you're smiling inside when I'm here with you. That's why-" Shuichi spiked up his head and took attention right to his eyes. Yuki lifted his petting hand and also kept his gaze down to him. "That's why I'll take the chance if I can be with you longer!" He took that as reason enough, gently pulling Shuichi into his body and kissing him. He knew to be gentle, the boy was so fragile now. Shuichi moved his arms up from Yuki's waist to resting them on his chest. The older man nudged Shuichi a bit with his nose and then let his tongue run down Shuichi's neck. This is what he wanted to remember, he wanted to always have the memory of Yuki showing his true raw emotions to him when asked. Some might say that he was just a toy but none knew how it felt. Shuichi got his attention again and went in for another kiss as he lay himself down onto the couch for Yuki to have his way with him.
The two spent the rest of the day together. By nightfall Shuichi had ran over to the bathroom for many 'false alarms' and one actual vomiting session. When Shuichi returned from the last 'false alarm' he came back into the bedroom crying, his hand was shaking on its own again. Yuki had to act like a father more then a lover, Shuichi was more scared about this then he even knew. The boy went to the bed to show Yuki but all he did was embrace Shuichi from behind while holding onto the hand to try and stop the shaking a bit. Shuichi still cried a bit but not as much as he did when he first found out he had the tumor just one day ago. The young artist lay down on the bed while Yuki turned off the lights. When he got into bed Shuichi cuddled up against him like a homeless child, Yuki put his arm around Shuichi and watched as he fell asleep.
okay, this chapter was a bit slow... sorry about that. I just wanted to get a way to a cure... I don't know if I should kill him off or not... so many people are telling me not to so I might listen... then again I'm one who likes to take odd turns that makes readers either love or hate me. I hope you enjoyed it! Track 5 should be up in about a day or two. (smiles)
Kokoro