Disclaimer: Making raps for High School Musical is actually quite entertaining.
Chapter 12
Nothing could have prepared Hermione for the sight that met her eyes when she came down to the Great Hall the next morning. She had been walking along with Harry, thinking happily that in a few days she would be insane-wizard free, when suddenly she stopped dead. Every student and teacher in the Hall had been tied up using a magical form of electrical tape and was being held at wand point by masked Death Eaters. In fact, the only student not held captive was-
"Neville!" Hermione exclaimed. And sure enough, there was Neville standing next to a rather creepy looking Dark Lord, both grinning maniacally.
Neville looked up when he heard Hermione, "That's right, it's me! Expelliarmus!" Hermione's want flew out of her hand and clattered on the floor next to Lord Voldemort.
Hermione grimaced, "But why, Neville? Why did you betray us? You're a Gryffindor; you're supposed to be a good guy!" As she spoke she began to inch slowly, ever so slowly, toward the Gryffindor breakfast table.
"The Sorting Hat considered putting me in Slytherin, you know." There was a collective gasp and quite a few snickers at this explanation.
Hermione continued moving, trying to get the evil Gryffindor to keep talking, "Well that was unexpected! But, that still doesn't explain why…"
"The cookies! I did it for the cookies!" the entire staff and student body looked at him, each face reflecting the same utterly-confused-beyond-all-possible-reason expression.
"Go on, Neville," said the Dark Lord in an evil hiss, "Clarify things."
Hermione was about half-way to the table now and surprisingly no one had noticed her. All eyes were fixed on Neville as he explained, "My grandmother never baked me cookies!" he yelled with a slight sob, "Until the Dark Lord gave me one!"
Draco stared at him incredulously, "You ate a cookie that he gave you? Neville, how dense can you get!"
"Quiet, fool! Yes, the Dark Lord gave me a cookie. It was the most wonderful morsel I had ever eaten; I would do anything for more, anything! That's right, I was the one who pushed Ron off the train, I was the one who prompted Harry to poke Hagrid off the tower, and I was the one who, through Harry, tried to smother you all in cookie dough! And now, I have you all at my mercy!" he took a quick glance at the ultimate evil being he was standing next to and quickly re-phrased this last statement, "I mean our mercy!"
Draco stared at him, "You betrayed us all for cookies!"
"Yes, oh and the promise of nearly limitless power that I wouldn't have been able to achieve here because you all thought I was a useless lump."
Hermione had finally reached the table. Her hand shot out and she grasped a dish of cold potatoes and flung them at Neville. The cold spuds crashed into his head and he was knocked unconscious.
The Dark Lord scowled, "I knew he should have tied you up, I just didn't want to interrupt his monologue. O well." Electrical tape flew out of his wand and hit Hermione, rendering her helpless. Voldemort then approached Harry, crimson eyes flashing wickedly, "Harry Potter is it true what they say about you losing your mind? Maybe that will make it easier for me to kill you. Avada Kedavra!"
Several people screamed at the flash of sickly green light, but the curse just melted when it reached Harry's magical barrier, leaving the wizard unscathed and still smiling, "Well that wasn't very nice!" he declared, "My friend told me that was a very naughty spell, and never to use it!"
But Voldemort wasn't listening, "What! How can that be? Crucio! Imperio! Avada Kedavra! Inciendio! Wingardium Leviosa! Expelliarmus! Petrificus Totalus! Heck, Lumos!" But all the spells just melted. "No! Why do you do this to me, Harry Potter? Why can't you just die?"
Harry was offended, "Well that's not very kind at all. I think we should teach you a lesson!" He sprinted over to a breakfast table and grabbed a pot of boiling coffee. He skipped back and thrust the metal container over Voldemort's head. The Dark Lord's scream was muffled by a nasty combination of the scalding liquid eating away at his face and the metal pot that blocked his breathing. He ran around in circles for half a minute like a chicken with its head cut off, making rather painful sounding gurgling noises. Several Death Eaters ran over to assist, but the pot was stuck on there and none of them risked firing spells in the fear of hitting their leader. All too soon, the Dark Lord gave a final shudder and fell to the ground.
"He's dead!" exclaimed one masked wizard after checking his pulse. All the students cheered as the black tape that was binding them disappeared in a puff of purple smoke and, along with the teachers; they all helped to tie up the now forsaken and confused Death Eaters to be shipped off to Azkaban.
"I still can't believe you defeated Voldemort with coffee." Draco was saying a few days later on the Hogwarts express a few days later.
Harry just took another drink of the double-shot espresso he was holding, a drink he had come to love dearly because of the funny buzzing it made in his head.
Hermione grinned, "Yep, that's our Harry!"
"I wonder if he'll ever be, you know, right in the head again." Draco mused.
"Dumbledore made arrangements for him to go to St. Mungo's; maybe they can cure him there."
Draco nodded. The rest of the trip passed in silence with all of them lost in their own thoughts. When the train finally stopped, they all exited onto the platform. Hermione gave her friend a quick hug before dragging Harry out into muggle London to meet the Aurors that would take him to the health facility. Draco stood on the platform a second longer, thinking. There had been a certain power to Harry's insanity after all.
A/N: Well there you have it, the last chapter! As I said, there will be an epilogue, which I sort of have planned out. If you have any questions about the story, any loose ends I still need to tie up, please tell them to me in your reviews and I will make sure to answer them in the epilogue. That's about it. Bye.