A/N: Originally posted at Naruto100, for the Show/Down challenge, a comedy.
Something Was Very Wrong
Thinking back on the whole thing, Shikamaru had no idea how he had gotten there. One minute he had beat Asuma in their 53rd game of Go, and the next minute he was in a karaoke bar. Something was very wrong. The offensive sound of bad singing assaulted his ears and he sighed into his tea, staring at his own disgruntled expression. Asuma was laughing loudly, drinking a cup of sake at their booth.
"Oi, Shikamaru! Sing a song!" Asuma exclaimed, gesturing at the rowdy crowd all about them. Sighing again and leaning back, Shikamaru tried to blot out the sight of some ninja strip dancing on the next table to some song about being too sexy for his shirt.
"I'd rather not. When did you say Ino and Chouji were getting here?" Asuma laughed, drowning his entire bottle of sake in a single gulp. He didn't seem to hear the question as he suddenly raced out of the karaoke bar, returning with one hand wrapped around Kurenai's slim waist. The other jounin had apparently been walking by before being assaulted by his teacher.
"Here, loosen up, Kurenai! Have a drink!" Shikamaru made an unidentifiable sound in the back of his throat and sipped his tea. It was troublesome being here, but it would become more problematic trying to leave. His attention began wandering, he was probably being afflicted by the awful music. Some pale man with long black hair took the stage with the mike and Shikamaru winced when the lyrics started slithering his way.
"Like a virgin…" The pale man sang, a tongue at least two feet long dangling from his mouth. Drunk freak. He watched idly as a woman who was… very well endowed, wrested the mike from the man and proceeded to belt her own version of the song.
"Like a surgeon! Cutting for the very first time!" Shikamaru was lost in this strange, bizarre, and extremely painful world. Turning his head back to his booth, Shikamaru was mildly shocked to see Kakashi, Gai, and several other ninjas from the academy occupying the nearby booths. When they had arrived, he had no idea, but they were already grating on his nerves.
"I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!" Sasuke and Naruto were up on a table screaming at each other to the tune of some rock song, Sakura was drowning in a cup of sake, despite her underage status, and Ino was flirting, red faced, with a very uninterested hungry Chouji. Asuma and Kurenai were laughing, Kakashi was reading his porno, and Gai and Lee were up on the next table, dancing rather absurdly and singing something about being hit one more time, baby. It was too much.
If it was one thing Shikamaru had learned from this whole exasperating experience, it was that being stuck in the middle of a karaoke contest sucked. He'd always known it wasn't over until the fat lady sang, but he didn't foresee Chouji's mother coming to get him anytime soon.