"Here," Stewart took her bare arm gently in his hand, Topanga resolutely ignored the feeling of the heat in his fingers spreading across her skin, "We're all over there in the back. It's a little quieter back there,"

She followed him to a booth in the back of the coffee bar where a group of four young people were sitting.

"Hey everyone," Stewart said waving an arm grandly across the booth, "This is Topanga, an old friend. Topanga this is Jeremy, my roommate, " he indicated a young man with shaggy blond hair small, light eyes and a slightly dopey smile, "his girlfriend Esther" he waved at the pretty girl next to Jeremy with long dark wavy hair "Charlie" who had a very angular face, a little acne and a mop of dark curly hair, "And this is Butterfly." Butterfly was Asian, she had short spiked purple hair, big black plastic rimmed glasses, heavy purple eye makeup and a plethora of colorful necklaces strung casually around her long neck. She threw a hand out to Topanga.

"It is absolutely spectacular to meet you, Topanga," she grinned.

"You too, Butterfly," Topanga laughed.

"My parents, god bless them, were crazy old hippies," Butterfly announced, apropos of nothing, "My father inherited pots of money and he and mom decided to build one of those butterfly greenhouse, conservatory things. So when I was conceived in it a couple years later, the name just sort of came to them," Butterfly laughed draining her drink, "Could be worse, if I was a boy they were thinking of naming me Caterpillar." Everyone laughed, Butterfly nodded with melodramatic resignation, "So what happened to you Topanga?"

Topanga was a little taken aback. No one had ever asked her before.

"Yeah, I've always wondered," Stewart said.

"Well," Topanga started uncertainly, "My parents were also crazy old hippies. Topanga Canyon in California was a big hippie... gathering... thing back in the day. Anyway, apparently that is where they met and did lots and lots of drugs... and each other, and now it's me"

This got a laugh from the whole table. Topanga's cheeks warmed pleasurably. She'd really never been asked. Cory had laughed once or twice, asking if "Beth" had been taken, Shawn and Jack had joked, but no one had ever actually wanted an explanation.

"Oh, speaking of California-" Jeremy started in excitedly. And the conversation swept on. They exchanged news and opinions on politics, religion, sociology, things she couldn't talk about with Cory. They talked about and offered to lend her movies she had wanted to see but couldn't convince Cory to go to or had waited for those nights when Cory hung out with Shawn and she had the apartment to herself. Her conversations with her husband tended to start with something to the effect of "You didn't by the fancy bread this time? I love the fancy bread!". She realized that she'd been starving for this kind of mental engagement.

Not that the whole conversation was some snobby high-brow affair. The friends gossiped. There was dirty story telling about so-and-so who had banged such-and-such while she was still dating what's-his-name, but that was something she'd been missing out on too. There wasn't any gossip in her life. Nothing in her life was mutable enough to be gossiped about. She went to bed at nine.

Her head was already swimming a little from the sheer thrill of the newness of it all when Stewart offered to buy her a drink. Automatically she said no. Cory and Shawn had once gotten terribly drunk together and ended up peeing on a police car and getting in horrible trouble with Mr. Matthews.

But a sneaky, suppressed thought snaked into her mind. "So?" it hissed.

"Actually, sure, I'd love one."

"What would you like?" Stewart asked politely.

"Whatever you're having," Topanga said quickly. She didn't know what to order.

Stewart ordered two gin and tonics and asked her about her life. She began the same brief sort of synopsis she would usually give Cory of her day, but Stewart asked her questions. What was going on with the internship? What was she studying? How did she like the apartment? He asked her about the rather broad subject of what had happened since he'd last seen her, and listened interestedly to her as she told him about moving in with Aunt Prudence so that she could stay in Philadelphia with Cory.

"Cory?" Stewart asked blankly, then the light of recognition came into his eyes, "Matthews?"

"Yeah."

"You dated Cory Matthews?" Stewart asked incredulously, "The kid with a baseball fixation and a brillo pad on his head? Hung around with Shawn Hunter, the kid who did the armpit noises and needed a hair cut?"

Topanga laughed so hard it took a while for her to reply, "Yeah that Cory Matthews." She had forgotten about all of that.

She told him about how upset Cory had been when Chubbies closed down. She told him about her decision not to go to Yale because of Cory. She didn't realize that she was drinking in every drop of the attention he gave her, like a woman who'd been lost in the desert and had finally found an oasis.

"Graduation was a disaster," Topanga said after she'd finished her gin and tonic, "Do you remember Cory's brother Eric? He came in to talk to us one time?"

"No, I don't," Stewart said, "Wait, the one who only told us we were going to be... slime balls?"

Topanga giggled, she was a little tipsy, "Yeah, him. Well, back then he was just dumb, as the years went on... gosh he just... he just went freaking insane. He found out that Mr. Feeny was retiring-"

"Oh! Mr. Feeny. When did Mr. Feeny retire?"

Topanga guffawed at this, "That's another story entirely, Stewart,"

He smiled warmly at her, "You'll have to tell me that one next," he said. And she felt herself blush. She cleared her throat, "Anyway..."

And she told him the story about Eric climbing in through Feeny's window the night before graduation and the outrageous solo number Eric performed from the crowd of graduates, and then when she came to the part where she proposed to Cory, she found herself skipping that moment, and going straight into the story of how Feeny had followed them through their entire education.

"Hey, guys," Esther said, "This place is closing in 5. What do you want to do?"

"My roommate is out of town, if you guys want to do a movie or something at my place?" Butterfly offered, "Topanga your welcome to come,"

"What time is it? I forgot my phone," Topanga asked.

It was already 2:00 in the morning. She had a long drive to Philadelphia tomorrow to get Cory and the rest of their things.

"Thanks," she told Butterfly, "But I really have to get going,"

"Okay, well, maybe next time. We'll give you a call," Esther said. Topanga gave Butterfly her number and everyone said how nice it had been to meet her as they walked out the door.

"Do you want me to wait with you?" Stewart asked her.

"Wait for what?" Topanga asked a little blankly.

"While you find a cab?" Stewart laughed.

"Right," Topanga said, she was still a little buzzed, "That would be wonderful." She carefully unzipped her purse "How much does a cab cost?"

"Depends on where you live," Stewart said. Topanga told him.

"Maybe 15, 20 dollars?" Stewart estimated, Topanga clicked her tongue and began digging around in her purse. After a minute she began to dig in a panicky way.

"Oh, no way..." she moaned, "No way!"

"What's wrong?" Stewart asked laying a hand on her shoulder. He hoped she didn't think he was a freak. He'd taken advantage of every opportunity he'd had tonight to touch her. He didn't think he'd ever known a girl as soft or warm as her.

"I left my billfold at the apartment!" Topanga exclaimed, "What am I going to do?"

"Tell you what. My apartment is like 10 blocks that way" he pointed up the street, "We can walk there, and I can lend you the money," he said.

"Are you sure?" Topanga asked.

"It's no problem. Plus I can't abandon you on the street can I?" Stewart said. He risked his luck a little by squeezing the shoulder he'd just caressed. Topanga gave him a grateful smile that made him warm all over.

As they walked to his apartment Topanga asked him about his life since she'd last seen him because she was interested in what he had been up to for the last however many years, but also because she couldn't think of anything else to say about her life. She was a bright girl, she knew exactly why she didn't want to tell him that she had married Cory but the thought was dawning on her, that if she tried to avoid the subject of Cory, she didn't have any other subjects. In every story she had Cory was the main character, in every event in her life Cory had a part. It was Cory, Cory, Cory, and as they reached Stewart's steps and he pulled out his keys and held the door open for her, she had to wonder when it had stopped being about Topanga. When had her life stopped being her own?