A/N: My entry for "Jutsus Gone Wrong", pure crack
Above and Beyond the Call of Duty
Kabuto used the back of his wrist to resituate his glasses on the tip of his nose, making sure he had optimum visual capacity. This operation was extremely delicate, his patient, extremely volatile. One slip up and he was as good as dead. Blood that was almost congealed covered his hands, and he was immensely glad that he had worn his surgical gloves that came up to his elbows.
His patient made an impatient noise, and Kabuto reached for the sanitary wipes. His patient's arms were already heavily bandaged, he had done those first, but the matter at hand was much more of a touch and go situation.
"Hurry up, Kabuto." An irritable high pitched voice he wasn't used to was speaking to him. Cleaning off his anti-bacterial gloves before proceeding, Kabuto began cleaning his patient. It wasn't something he enjoyed, but it was just something that came with the job, the lowest hour of his call of duty.
Having finally finished the tedious task of cleaning away all the blood, Kabuto removed his gloves and began forming the signs of the jutsu he needed. He closed his eyes and flashed through them, his patient got violent when kept waiting.
"Tampon Application no jutsu!" He shouted, finishing the hand seals. Orochimaru began hissing in displeasure.
"Damn it, Kabuto! Wrong handseals, I wanted Playtex, you bitch! Don't mess with me when I'm PMSing DAMMIT!" Kabuto sighed. Another day in the life of Orochimaru's assistant. Hopefully Orochimaru would either get his arms back or switch bodies soon… for both their sakes.