AN: Bear with me and you'll get less confused (although part three is sure to confuse the holy living crap out of you). Trust me. :)

Chapter Two

Daniel was not a happy camper when Jack demanded that he return without explanation. Jack watched as Daniel approached Carter, quietly asking her what happened. Carter only rolled her eyes in response.

"Carter!" Jack had never seen Carter acting as obviously insolent as he'd seen her being twice in five minutes. She looked mad, which he couldn't reconcile with the warmth he'd seen in her eyes when she'd smiled at him a few minutes previously. "What the hell is your problem, Carter?"

She glanced at Daniel before somehow managing to look even more pissed off. "What the hell is yours?"

He'd had it. She never challenged him like that, not in such a rude manner and certainly not in front of other people. He stepped in front of her, fury barely restrained in him. "Snap to, Major!"

Anger flashed in her eyes, but she immediately came to attention.

He hated that what he'd considered a perfectly wonderful afternoon had gone to hell. "If I hear one more thing out of you besides yes sir and no sir, I'm going to write you up. Is that clear, Major?"

"Yes, sir." The fury in her eyes mirrored his own and he had no idea what caused it, especially since she'd been angry before he dressed her down.

He stared at her for a long moment, finding nothing but coldness staring back at him. "Do you have anything else to say?"

She narrowed her eyes, obviously not about to fall for a trick. "No, sir."

"Good." He turned away from her and dialed the gate.

But even as the wormhole roared to life, he clearly heard Carter's retort. "Don't even think about coming over tonight."

Jack spun around in horror. He couldn't have possibly heard her correctly. But judging from the way Daniel was studying his shoes and Teal'c was looking embarrassed, he knew she'd said exactly what he'd thought. It disturbed him that neither of his friends seemed particularly shocked by her implication. He leaned into her face, unsure why she would say such a thing. "Do we have some sort of plans that I've forgotten about?"

"No, sir." She winced from his proximity and his harsh tone, but she stood her ground. "Not that that's ever stopped you before."

His eyes widened. "What the hell are you talking about?" He turned around and glared at Daniel and Teal'c, who suddenly seemed amused by Carter's little fantasy world. "Never mind. I don't want to know. As soon as we get back, you're getting your head examined and I swear to God if there isn't a damn good explanation for this, I'm writing your ass up!" He angrily pressed his code into the GDO so hard his fingers hurt.

"If you dare, I assure you that's the last of my ass you'll ever get, Jack."

Daniel snickered. Teal'c tried to hide it, but he was laughing too. Jack wanted to kill all three of them. "I'm not amused, Major." He didn't know what to make of Carter, so he turned on his friends. "I'm not sleeping with her." Neither of them appeared even remotely convinced. "What the hell is the matter with you, Carter?"

She didn't answer. He was about to repeat himself, to demand she make some sort of excuse for her behavior, but his radio interrupted with a hold signal from the base. Thankful for something to concentrate on besides Carter's attitude problem, he grabbed his radio and shouted into it, not caring if everyone knew something was wrong. "What the hell is the problem?"

General Hammond's voice sounded back through. "Colonel O'Neill, what is your status?"

"We're trying to come back, but we're not getting clearance."

"Colonel, please re-enter your iris code."

The scene between them all was forgotten as worried looks passed among them. It wasn't often that they got a hold signal, and they'd never once been denied entrance for an invalid code. Jack punched in his code again, pressing the keys lightly. Even while he did it, he tried to find a hidden message in the general's word that might indicate a situation of some sort. Jack wondered if he was trying to warn them off.

It took longer than normal for the base to respond and Jack knew that wasn't a good sign. Walter's voice sounded concerned. "Colonel, you do not have clearance. Please stand by."

Jack looked at Carter, who looked less angry and more apologetic. She spoke into her radio, attempting to cover for him. "Sir, the colonel hasn't been out of my sight the entire time we've been here. Sending iris code." Her fingers flew across the keypad nimbly.

A moment later, Walter's voice rang out. "SG-1, you are clear to return."

Daniel and Teal'c headed back first. Carter glanced at Jack and smiled. "You must have been pretty upset to have forgotten your iris code."

He took a step toward the gate, wanting as much space between him and the rapid-fire mood swings of his second. "I didn't forget it, Carter. That's my code." It had been weeks since he'd gotten a new one and he made a mental note to verify it as soon as he got back. "Maybe the GDO is broken."

Carter stepped up next to him as they climbed the steps to the gate. Her hand brushed his just as they were stepping through.

He turned to face her once they were safely back in Cheyenne Mountain. "Carter, what are you doing?"

She offered him another tiny smile. "We can talk about it later, Jack."

"Jack? What the fuck?" He stared after her dumbfounded as she disappeared down the hall.

General Hammond was in the control room, staring down at him. "Colonel, as soon as you get clearance from medical, I expect you to have a damn good explanation for forgetting your iris code. You damn well could have gotten your team killed."

After a perfectly unremarkable physical and a painfully long debriefing where the general quite thoroughly embarrassed him, Jack hid out in the locker room. He took a long, hot shower, giving up on trying to wrap his brain around the events of the day. He wanted to go home, knock back a couple of beers, and find some mind-numbing news program to lull him to sleep. He stepped out of the shower, dressed quickly and ran his fingers through his hair. It felt odd to him and he looked in the mirror. It was still cropped close to his head and he wondered where he'd ever gotten the idea that it was getting long.

He shook his head and decided he was going insane. He would put off dealing with Carter until the morning. Hopefully whatever she was dealing with would work itself out. Besides, he rationalized, talking to her while she was acting strangely was just going to make him even more nuts.

He was thinking about her behavior, especially the way she'd lied to the general about him never leaving her sight on the planet, as he shut his locker. He shook his head again and turned to leave.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he found a smirking Carter leaning against the door.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he watched her turn the lock on the door.

He cleared his throat. "Carter, this is the men's locker room."

She grinned as she took her time looking him up and down. He suddenly wished his jeans were a little looser when he saw the appreciative gleam in her eyes. "You never minded before."

"Before when?" He felt his feet involuntarily slide backwards when she pushed herself off the door and started moving towards him. He was dazed and she was on a mission, so she closed the distance before he got far, not that he had far to go before he backed into the showers, which he realized probably weren't a good place to be with psycho Carter. Her hands reached up to grab the lapels of his jacket. "Carter?" Was that his voice? He couldn't be sure because it sounded like Peter Brady.

She grinned as she pressed her body closer to his. "Yes, sir?" The evil glint in her eyes convinced him she fully expected his response at his words.

He wanted to be angry, or at the very least concerned, but his body was overruling his brain for the moment and his body was very much enjoying the idea that Carter had backed him into the lockers and was pressing herself against him. He could feel every inch of her against him and it made him lightheaded. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not mad anymore." She nuzzled his neck which just about sapped the last of his strength. "I forgive you. Can we go home now?"

He leaned down to look at her, to try to confirm that the creature evoking those unbelievable sensations in his body was truly Carter, but as he looked down, she leaned up, capturing his lips in a deep, searing kiss. When his brain started working again, he was quite pleased that she wasn't mad anymore.

Until he remembered that he was the one who was mad at her. And that Carter had only accosted him once before, coincidentally also in the locker room, and it hadn't exactly been her then. He tried to push her away, only succeeding in getting his hands on her hips before she started sucking on the skin below his ear. His head fell back against the lockers, the pain not even registering. "Jesus, Carter."

She laughed softly as she continued to kiss his neck. "Of course we could always stay here, Jack." Her hand brushed against his neck, exactly the way he liked. He had no idea how she knew exactly what drove him crazy, but lord help him, she did.

He turned his face into her hair, inhaling the scent of her deeply. He wanted her so badly that every part of him was desperate to give in. Her hands moved to pull his shirt loose from his pants.

The touch of her cool hands on his overheated skin shocked him back to his right mind. What she was doing, what he was allowing her to do, was wrong. He was sure of one thing as his hands shoved her hips away from his - she wasn't Samantha Carter.