1
I told Edward I could walk home by myself. I wish I didn't, it was scary at night. I seen a bunch of homeless people and hookers. They only come out at night. "This world is disgusting." I thought. No wonder why I want to die. This world is full of sick and twisted people. I looked up from my gaze at the sidewalk when I heard a scream. It was an old lady. She was getting beating by a man.
"Give me your purse!" He said.
"Here take it." The lady responded.
"Thanks." He said. The lady thought it was over, and so did I. The man pulled out a gun and she took a bullet to her head. The man just ran away with her purse, he just left her there. I figured it was best to go before the police showed up.
Why couldn't that have been me?
I ran as fast as I could to get home. What the hell is wrong with people. I didn't tell anybody about what had happened, I went home and went to sleep. I couldn't sleep. My body ached, he did it again. I wish it was him that would have got shot in the head. He deserved it. He was no father. And if these truly are the best years of our life, then I don't want to go on. I went back to my razors, they know me, they don't judge me, they do what I expect them to do, and they never let me down.
The next day in art we had to draw a forest. "Damnit I suck at art!" I said.
"I do to!" Ed said.
"Wow you do suck" Derek said.
"Was I talking to you?" I asked him.
"Do I care, you worthless piece of crap, and you too shortie"
" IM NOOOOOOOOOOT SHORT!" Edward screamed.
"Yeah you are"
"You know what Derek you need to shut your fat mouth, You see us how you want to see us, not how we really are. You're the one that's worthless."
That was a good art class.
In computer class Edward was staring at my arms wondering why I had a long sleeved shirt on when it was hot out. "Are you still cutting yourself?" He asked me.
"Thank you Edward." Mr. Wallace said.
"But I-"
"Thank you again."
"I didn't do anything!"
"Again, for disrupting the class"
"I DIDN'T DISRUPT THE CLASS!" He screamed.
"Thank you AGAIN. I'm going to dismiss you from this class."
"THEN DO IT OLD MAN, oh crap I didn't mean that, your not old."
"GET OUT!"
"Okay I'm going." Edward said. He got up from his seat and left.
Well that was entertaining.
For lunch Ed, Al and I sat on the grass outside the school.
"I think you need to go to a therapist" Edward said.
"What? No I don't!" I retorted.
"Yes you do, you won't stop cutting yourself."
"No, I'll stop I swear."
"Promise me?"
"Yeah yeah, I promise."
"Shake on it." He said as he reached out his hand. I grabbed his hand. "I promise."
"Why do you want to die?" Al asked.
"I don't know I'm not good enough."
"Good enough for who?"
"The kids at school, my parents."
"Your better than them, they're all just gay, believe me" Ed said.
I didn't tell Edward that I don't keep promises very well. For some reason I still wanted to die. He did it again when I got home from school, it had no become a daily routine. "Committing Suicide will be the only thing I can be proud of in my 17 years of life." I thought to myself, as I carried bottles of medicine in my room. One pill after another. I took them slowly, and soon everything got a little dizzy. I wasn't dead...yet. I lay there on the floor til morning. I was awake now but I didn't move, I didn't want to go to school.
Edward wondered why I wasn't in school, so he came over my house and found me lying on the ground, with pill bottles around me.
"I almost did it." I whispered softly as tears started to form in my eyes.
"You broke the promise." He said, as he walked toward me with a frown on his face.
"I'm sorry.". He picked me up and lay me on his lap. He cradled me in his arms.