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Chapter Five
Out of fear, confusion, and understanding that she might not be so readily able to send the colonel packing if he tried again, Carter sat in her lab with the door locked for the first time since she'd started at the SGC. She wasn't sure what to do, hence the blockade in the lab. It was possible that she'd been mistaken, that perhaps she'd mentioned Beth's wedding in passing, but she certainly hadn't invited Jack to go with her. And even if he'd somehow assumed an invitation in the comment she didn't remember making, there was no way she could be so confused that she'd forget the intimate relationship Jack firmly believed she was withholding from him over said invitation.
She really only had two options and neither of them was looking particularly attractive to her. Either there was something horrible wrong with Jack and her memories were right or there was something horribly wrong with her and she just couldn't remember the torrid affair she was having with her CO. Deciding on the next course of action was proving to be problematic. If something was wrong with Jack, they could fix it, hopefully, and everything would go back to normal with a probably painfully embarrassed Jack licking his wounds. On the other hand, if the problem was with her, once they fixed whatever was wrong with her, she and Jack would immediately face a court martial. With those options, hiding out in the lab until whatever it was just went away looked better and better with every passing second.
And there was, of course, the helpful part of her libido that suggested she simply follow Jack's lead and give in to what he was finally openly admitting to wanting. She was resolutely ignoring that part because she was pretty sure, given much of a chance, that she could easily convince herself that was the best solution given all the possible outcomes.
Carter's ears perked up when she heard footsteps in the hall. They stopped right outside her door. A knock fell against the metal. Her heart thudded in her chest in panic. If it was the colonel, she wouldn't have much choice about opening the door. As fearful as she was that it was him coming back to torture her, she also hoped that it would be him coming to apologize so everything could go back to normal.
Another knock. Carter hopped off her stool and backed against the wall, cursing herself for not going home when she had the chance. She'd been too afraid of bumping into the colonel in the elevator where she'd have no chance of escape.
"Sam? Are you in there?" Daniel's voice had never sounded so good.
She pulled the door open with a relieved smile. "Hi."
Daniel noticed her smile and checked behind himself, looking to see what was making her so happy. "What are you smiling about?"
"I'm just happy to see you." She tried to nonchalantly close the door behind him, but she had to prod him out of the way to do so. And his eyes widened the slightest bit when she threw the lock.
He looked scared. "What's going on?" His fear faded to suspicion when Carter went back to her usual perch at the bench. He kept glancing between her and the door.
Sam smiled again, knowing her smile was giving her away, but being unable stop herself. "Nothing, why?"
"Cause Jack just asked me to come talk to you."
Suddenly fearing that Daniel had whatever Jack had, she retreated to the far side of the bench. It had been strange, but nice when Jack jumped her. It would just be creepy if Daniel did the same. "About what?"
Daniel bit his lip and looked intensely uncomfortable. "He's really sorry, Sam." Looking even more uncomfortable, he shifted toward the door. "Why didn't you guys tell me? I thought you trusted me." He looked hurt.
"Daniel, I swear to you, there's nothing to tell."
Daniel narrowed his eyes. "You should really work out your stories better. See, when I asked Jack that same question, he said he did tell me and I must have forgotten."
"That's ridiculous! How could you forget something like that?"
"I know. Like I would have forgotten finally hearing your guys admit to something I've suspected since we met." Daniel looked down. "But I know now and you know I know, so there's no point in keeping up the act, Sam."
"It's not an act, Daniel." She knew she was safe with him, except from a possible unwarranted guilt trip, so she returned to her stool. "The colonel and I are not involved. Something must have happened to us on that planet. He was fine and then he wasn't."
Daniel leaned over on his elbows next to her. "What was he angry at you for?"
Carter shrugged. "See, that's just it. He was ok and we were just-" Her face burned when she thought about the way his hands felt on her hips earlier in the day, before she suspected he'd gone insane.
Daniel laughed. "Uh huh, sure, right. Not involved."
"Daniel, I mean it! We weren't doing anything!" Nothing worth mentioning - not when he'd technically been correcting her for not being aware of her surrounds while she was on an alien planet.
Daniel straightened up, deciding she was trying to cover up something far more incriminating. "Yeah, so anyway, Jack's really sorry. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Don't leave me here! I need your help. What if he comes back here?" She didn't care if she sounded crazy. She knew having Daniel with her would deter Jack from being affectionate. At least, she hoped it would.
"So you either forgive him for not wanting to go wherever it is that he doesn't want to go or you dump him." He glanced back at her as he unlocked the door. "But, if you choose the latter, let him down easy, ok?"
"What?" She was starting to think it wasn't just Jack. Maybe everyone was losing their minds.
"He actually looked kind of pathetic when he said you wouldn't talk to him, Sam. I think it'll break his heart."
"Daniel! Wait!" She jumped up from her seat. She put her hand over his shoulder to hold the door closed. "The colonel didn't want me to talk to him, Daniel."
Daniel turned to face her and winced. "Sam, you guys are my friends, but I so don't want to hear this."
"Daniel, please!" Her shriek prevented either of them from hearing the approaching steps.
"Carter?" Neither Daniel nor Sam had time to react before Jack pushed the door open slightly. He was a little stunned to see Sam so close to Daniel, resting her hand against the door he was pushing on. Sam wanted to cry that he was back and she was still without a viable solution. Daniel wanted to disappear. "Sorry to interrupt."
He didn't say anything else; he just turned and hurried away.
Daniel looked terrified when it dawned on him what Jack thought. He looked at Carter with wide eyes. "Oh, God, Sam, it'll kill him if he thinks-"
Carter didn't hear him because, against her better judgment, she was running down the hall after her CO. She didn't care whether something was wrong with him or her or both or neither; she couldn't live with herself if she hurt him like that. And she knew it would hurt him because as confident as Jack acted, she knew he was insecure, especially around his over-educated, articulate friend.
She saw him duck into the locker room and she didn't hesitate as she followed, peeking her head around the door slowly at first to make sure he was alone. Lucking it was late enough that most of the staff had gone home. "Sir?"
"This is the men's locker room, Carter." He sounded hard and angry.
"That wasn't what you think."
He pulled his locker door open and yanked his jacket out, knocking several things off the shelf. "I think I heard you begging Daniel for something and I know I saw you and Daniel standing much closer than friends might stand, so please, tell me, Carter, if it wasn't what I think, exactly what the hell was it?"
Carter fought back a proud smile. She didn't mean to gloat that Jack was jealous over what he thought was her interest in another man, but she couldn't help herself. "Sir, I assure you I'm not interest in Daniel that way."
He glared at her, the heat she'd seen in his eyes earlier replaced with ice. "Apparently, you're not interested in me that way either."
She couldn't believe it. Jack, her proud, strong, hard-edged colonel was actually asking her for reassurance. So she was stuck. There was no way to reassure him without crossing a line she'd swore she would never cross again, not after that first terrifying conversation when she'd had to make them both admit their feelings to save their lives.
But she couldn't break his heart either.
She took a deep breath and stared straight into his eyes. "Don't ever think that, Jack."
He turned away. "Then what happened earlier? You couldn't stand me touching you."
She shook her head. "That's not true."
He closed his locker and moved to face her. "No?" He sounded small and scared.
She hated that anything she'd done, regardless of the reasons why, had hurt him. She did the only thing she could think of. She crossed the space between them, wrapped her arms around his neck, and hugged him at tightly as she could. He squeezed her back, so tight she could barely breathe.
And then, she was pressed up against the lockers, his mouth open over hers, his hands moving against her skin. His reaction to her caused such a powerful overload of emotion in her that she couldn't do anything but kiss him back.