Because I'm nice, you get Chapter One today as well as the Prologue…
The Trouble With Carter
By Chezza
Disclaimer, Author's Notes and Copyright Notice, etc in Prologue.
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Chapter One
Jack pounced on him before he even managed to set foot through the door.
"Well?" He demanded, as he pulled the door open in response to the knocking.
Daniel blinked.
"Hey, Jack. How are you?"
Jack stared at him for a long moment before rolling his eyes and turning away. Waving a hand in a gesture which Daniel took to mean, 'follow me', he walked rapidly away towards the kitchen area, visible off to the left in the open plan apartment.
Daniel supposed this meant that the job of closing the door was being left up to him, then. Sighing heavily, he stepped inside, shut the door behind him and wandered after his pain-in-the-ass friend.
"Wanna beer?"
Jack's generic form of greeting was muffled by the refrigerator door as he stuck his head inside and pulled out a couple of bottles, without even waiting for an answer.
"Ah, no - "
Daniel made a hasty grab for the bottle which was thrust in his general direction, to prevent it from falling to the floor.
" - not really…"
Jack leant back against the counter to the side of the refrigerator and used the counter edge to flip the cap off his own bottle. He casually flicked the cap into the sink, taking a long swallow as he did so. The lowering of said bottle was perfectly synchronised with the raising of his eyebrow, as he cocked his head to one side.
"So?" He asked bluntly.
Daniel slowly turned his unopened bottle around in his hands several times, before twisting to the side and placing it on the counter.
"You know," he said lightly, trying to relieve some of the tension lying heavily in the air.
"I could make a fortune out of you guys if I actually charged you for this. Especially at the rates some of the relationship counsellors out there are asking."
If anything, Jack's glower grew darker. Daniel was beginning to think his effort had backfired, when Jack sagged like a puppet whose strings had been cut and ran a hand over his face, before raising his head and giving him a sheepish grin.
"Being an ass, huh?"
Daniel smirked.
"Just a little, Jack."
Jack nodded.
"Sorry."
He didn't sound particularly apologetic but Daniel wasn't going to push it.
"So," Jack continued. "Good flight? Meeting go well?"
Daniel grimaced. The flight had been a typical Air Force cargo hop. Cold, draughty, uncomfortable and incredibly noisy. And as for the meeting…
"Let's just say it went a whole lot better than the last meeting I attended here."
Jack smirked.
"Really?"
He waved his free hand in the air.
"Now see, I thought that Vala had a great career ahead of her in diplomacy."
Daniel snorted.
"You would."
"No really!" Jack protested. "I honestly thought she'd go far…"
His voice trailed off, as if it had just occurred to him that given the circumstances of her disappearance, that might possibly have been the wrong thing to say.
Daniel gave a sad smile.
"Yeah, she definitely did that, didn't she?"
"Hey, c'mon." Jack reached across to nudge his arm with the base of his beer bottle.
"We're here to sort out my women troubles, remember?"
"Yeah, I know. It's just…"
Daniel sighed.
"Maybe if I'd paid a bit more actual attention to her instead of writing her off as an annoyance…if I'd listened to what she was trying to tell me - "
"Hey." Jack said firmly, cutting him off.
"From what I saw the last time both of you were here, that woman had a severe annoyance factor. There's no way you could be expected to weed out the truth from all the other crap she was spouting, every. Time. She. Spoke."
Jack fixed him with a pointed look.
"If you'd spent all your time doin' that, it would've distracted you from other important…stuff."
Daniel nodded thoughtfully. He had a point…even if it did little to diminish the guilt he felt over how he had treated Vala.
He pushed his glasses back into position higher up on his nose. The action more of a habit than because it was actually required, and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You're saying it's similar to the fable of the boy who cried wolf…that if you say something often enough, nobody believes you when it is actually true."
Jack was wearing his confused frown again, although these days Daniel was fairly certain it was nothing more than an act.
"Yeah. That's it exactly."
Jack cleared his throat, giving Daniel a pointed look which was presumably designed to let him know that he wasn't going to let him stray any further off topic.
"So anyway…did you talk to Carter?"
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Daniel frowned.
"You know, it might help matters if you didn't refer to Sam as Carter, all the time."
Jack looked startled, as if the thought that he did so had never even occurred to him.
"I don't!" He protested. "At least, not when we're…you know."
Daniel briefly closed his eyes in an effort to suppress the automatic cringe reflex caused by Jack's words. That was way more information than he ever needed or indeed wanted to know, but he supposed it was his own damn fault for suggesting it.
"But she's not here and you are and…it's easier to keep things…professional if we stick to - "
The hand was waving around again.
" - surnames and honourifics when there are other people around."
Daniel un-scrunched one eye enough to open it and lifted his eyebrow. Honourifics?
"Really?"
"Uh-huh."
"It's just me, Jack. I'm not going to say anything."
"But see, that's how it starts. First it's you, then it's Teal'c, then - "
There went the hand again, except this time it was the one holding the beer bottle. Which was a little worrying.
" - Mitchell and the next thing you know, I'm calling her 'sweetheart' in front of Hank."
Daniel couldn't help but snort in disbelief. One, the thought of Jack O'Neill calling anyone other than a three year old 'sweetheart,' beggared belief and two, he knew for a fact that pet names - of any kind - were a particular hatred of Sam's.
"Jack, I highly doubt you'd call Sam 'sweetheart' even if she was the only other person in the room!"
He paused.
"At least, not if you want to stand any chance whatsoever of having sex with her again, at some point in the next several years."
Jack's face broke into a wide smirk at the mention of having sex with Sam and since it was his own fault once again for mentioning it in the first place, Daniel decided he was just going to ignore it. Otherwise he might end up mentally scarred for life.
"True. But you get the point."
Daniel sighed and admitted defeat.
"Yes. Yes, I do."
Jack nodded, obviously satisfied that he'd hammered the point home.
"Good."
He took a long swallow of beer.
"So, back to my original question, what the heck is up with Carter?"
TBC…