Disclaimer: Forgot this last chapter. I don't own anything, please don't sue me, etc etc.

Chapter Two.

"So, what do you think we'll need?" Harry asked, leaning against the trunk of their beat up car, which had been threw more spats than the car would care to remember.

"A shave if we're going to pick up girls," Jo murmured, rubbing a hand over the stubble that had formed in the past few days.

"Ho Ho Ho. I meant about offing Voldemort." Harry said.

"I think The Box would be in order, to make sure his soul can't get anywhere after we've killed the body." Jo murmured, digging threw their weapons trunk. "Something muggle he wouldn't suspect, since I don't think we're going to be beheading him with a cutting curse."

"Battle Ax?" Harry suggested, holding it up limply for scrutiny.

"I thought after the Arcaen Demon incident, we decided that we shouldn't use that against anything shorter than six feet again," Jo reminded pointedly, and Harry nodded in agreement. "Plus, too Xena for my taste."

"Scythe?" Harry asked, holding up a scythe.

"The one from that Reaper in Indiana or the one from the specialty shop in Canada?" Jo asked with a frown.

"Which one do you think?" Harry asked, annoyed.

"The one..from the...Reaper?" Jo suggested hesitantly.

"Is that a question or an answer?" Harry said pointedly.

"You sound just like Mr. Alden!" Jo exclaimed, bursting into laughter. When the chuckles subsided and his black haired friends look remained, he sighed and murmured: "An answer."

"I thought so. So, scythe, The Box... Some explosives?" Harry suggested, opening the wooden box that had the words "DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET TOO WARM OR WET, YOU SHIT HEADS" stamped on the top in red lettering.

"It depends. Something small to care of the minions, and maybe when we're leaving we can toss something big in there and blow up the entire strong hold, for good measure." Jo said, and Harry nodded and collected the explosives they would most likely need.

"Better overkill than underkill," Harry quoted, and then slammed their trunk shut. "Where did we buy the car?"

"Liverpool." Jo recalled, climbing into the front seat. "And once we're there we can locate threw some kind of tracking device where he is, and drive the rest of the way."

Harry nodded his approval and climbed into the passenger seat of their car.

The car was more expensive than regular muggle ones, because once it had gone to a place, you could program it to go back, much like apparating. But as they had bought it in Liverpool and had taken it to America immediately after, they would actually have to drive around to Voldemort's lair.

Harry twisted a few knobs experimentally, and they pulled at a red button. The car made a noise that closely resembled a buzz of electricity, and Harry fought to keep his steel watch on his wrist, since the cars roof had become magnetized. "First stop, Hogwarts."

Jo pressed the petal to the floor and they sped off at 76 mph down the empty highway road. a few seconds later, the casual observer may have observed a yellow 1967 Ford Fairlane silently blink out of existence.

They jolted to a stop sometime later on a long, dusty, empty road.

"Magic travel makes me hungry," Harry complained good-naturedly, pulling the mirror down and examining his now standing up hair and trying to force it down again. "Its times like these that I'm glad we opted to not buy the talking mirrors."

"All talking mirrors hate you. I believe they called your mother a whore, and said that you had less brain cells than the minister." Jo put in, turning the car off. His hair was cut a bit shorter than Harry's and didn't have much problem keeping it down after car transports.

"Well they were right about one thing," Harry muttered darkly.

"Harry," Jo said warningly. "Have some self esteem! Even a small non-magical mammal has more brain cells than the minister!" At Harry's look he sighed. "You shouldn't call your mother a whore, not even if she were the best known hooker in Vegas."

"I'm going to get a giant spider to bite your head off," Harry said slowly.

"Don't joke about that sort of thing, Harry!" Jo exclaimed, turning green. "You remember those things, the ones in Wisconsin? Nearly took my foot off!"

"Let's just head to Hogwarts already. We need the headmaster on our side, he has invaluable resources." Harry said as they walked down the sidewalk to the local convienence store to search for a decent map.

"What sort of impression shall we make on him?" Jo asked, flipping threw maps.

"Well, from my time with him at the Potters, I knew him to be nice. At least, he was to me. Smiled, pet my head, asked me how I was. A bit manipulative. Really eccentric." Harry pulled out a map, of England and surrounding countries, including Scottland.

"Eccentric?" Jo repeated, grinning from ear to ear.

Hogwarts, a few hours later

"So the prophecy says I've got to defeat him or he'll kill me?" Allen asked of Dumbledore, horrified. Dumbledore nodded, and Lily burst into tears.

"Although, he hasn't been 'marked' in any way,." Dumbledore said, a bit hesitantly. "We may be wrong. But Allen is our most likely choice, as Neville Longbottom does not fit the description."

"Harry had a scar. Lightening shaped, on his forehead." Sirius Black murmured as he leaned over the exact words of the prophecy, studying them closely. James puffed indignantly.

"You aren't suggesting that that ungrateful brat--" James began.

"Dont. Call. Harry. A. Brat." Sirius growled threw barred teeth, getting an inch from James's face. Sirius had liked Harry (all the Maureders did, the exception being James, though they'd never admit it) more than Allen, and was crushed when the smirking, smartass child disappeared off the train on his way to Hogwarts five years ago.

"I'll call the whelp whatever I like. Do you realize what he has put this family threw? He's dead to me!" James shouted. "Dead like Peter--" James was forced to dodge the blow as Sirius attempted to deck him.

A light knock on the door interrupted their brawl. Dumbledore frowned, it being two weeks since the school year ended, and all teachers directed not to disturb this meeting.

"Who is it?" Dumbledore called.

"Dee Snider!" A voice replied.

"Who?" Dumbledore asked in confusion, and suddenly the door opened.

"We're not gonna take IT! No! We aint gonna take it!" Two singing young men burst threw the door, playing the air guitar. The brown haired one put on a high pitched voice.

"Oh, Dee! I love you're hair!" He gushed.

The black haired boy frowned, and then pretended to punch the brown haired boy in the jaw. The other boy flew threw the air dramatically, and then rubbed his jaw in an exaggerated motion of pain. "When did Dee Snider become Steven Segal?"

"Its not that far of a stretch, Jo." He put in, pulling the other boy up.

"Yes, yes it is, Harry. I mean, Steven Segal is a killing machine. The most damage Snider has ever done was with his pyrotechnics." Jo put in, brushing off his pants. Sirius made the connection first.

"Harry!" He asked, and then rushed in to hug the boy tightly. Jo cackled a few feet away.

"Jesus, Harry, when's the last time you got hugged?" Jo asked, slapping his thigh.

"Christmas Party, two and a half years ago, a very drunk Patricia Martin," Harry recited as Sirius released him.

"Hugging drunk girls, that's m'boy!" Sirius declared. Jo leapt forward.

"I'm Jo. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Black. You're the only family member Harry ever mentions!" Jo said, shaking Sirius's hand vigorously.

"Harry?" Lily finally squeeked before fainting.

"Harry!" Allen asked in shock.

"HARRY!" James growled.

"Yes, that's me. Harry Potter, resident disappointment. I've got business cards if you'd like to see them." Harry quipped, surprised at how he felt no anger or hatred at seeing these people again.

"We've come to suck your blood!" Jo supplied. At their blank looks, he continued: "Or defeat your Dark Lord. Whichever."

End

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