Chapter 14 - Remembering Voldemort

Harry left Gryffindor Tower shortly after seven o'clock Tuesday evening. He knew he had plenty of time to find Mr. Brooks's office, but seeing as he had never been there before, he thought he'd go a little early.

He followed the staircases down to the fourth floor and began scanning the portraits on the wall. He wasn't sure how he would know which painting was Nigel the Nitwit, but he had learned over time that such things usually made themselves apparent. So far, all of the paintings were either landscapes or magical creatures. Harry continued down the corridor until he came to a grey haired man in a double-peaked wizard's hat. The old man was trying to convince a very stern looking witch of something.

"Honestly, Evelyn, I don't know how it happened. They just disappeared!"

"Don't give me that same old line, Nigel. You know me better than that."

Harry smiled and walked to the door on the opposite wall of the portrait and knocked.

The door swung open and Mr. Brooks stood beaming at Harry.

"Ah, Harry, you're early. Come in and have a seat. Just let me clear these papers away."

Harry walked in to Mr. Brooks's office and felt his mouth drop open. The walls were plastered with pictures, charts and maps. Harry recognized many of the pictures to be various rooms within Hogwarts, as well as some outside shots of the castle. Handwritten notes were scrawled on several of the pictures. On the wall directly behind Mr. Brooks's desk, there was a chart labeled with the four houses of Hogwarts. In each column were pictures of students grouped according to year. Harry followed the Gryffindor column down to the sixth year grouping to find his own smiling face. On the wall to Harry's right, Mr. Brooks had pinned a map of the Hogwarts grounds. Again, there were several handwritten scrawls spread over it.

Harry sat down in the chair facing the desk. Mr. Brooks was busy scooping up the papers on his desk. He looked up at Harry and smiled. "I was just working on the duty schedule for the officers. It always seems that everyone needs the same days off," he said, shaking his head.

Harry smiled as he watched Mr. Brooks stuff the papers into the drawer in his desk. Mr. Brooks pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and settled himself in his chair. He clasped his hands together on the desk in front of him, and looked at Harry soberly. The light-hearted atmosphere of the office evaporated.

"Now, Harry. What we are about to discuss will not leave this room. I am asking you these questions for my information only. I will be recording our conversation, but I will put a secrecy charm on this parchment, which will allow only me to read it. I realize that some of the things I will be asking you will be difficult for you to answer. All I ask is that you try your best and trust me. Before we begin, do you have any questions?"

Harry shook his head.

Mr. Brooks nodded and dipped his quill into the jar of ink on his desk. He made a few scratches on the parchment and then looked up at Harry.

"Let's begin. What is your earliest memory of Voldemort?"

Harry swallowed. He knew what his earliest memory was, and it was also one of the most difficult. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. He cleared his throat. "The day he killed my parents."

Mr. Brooks stared at Harry. "Sorry, did you say the day he killed your parents?"

Harry nodded.

Mr. Brooks raised his eyebrows. "How old were you at the time, Harry?"

"Just over one, I think."

Mr. Brooks nodded and furrowed his eyebrows together. "And you remember that?"

Harry paused. "Well, I didn't remember it until a couple years ago. It came back to me when a dementor came on the Hogwarts Express."

Mr. Brooks nodded and scribbled on his parchment. "Can you please tell me about your memory, Harry?"

Harry closed his eyes, feeling his throat constrict. He opened his eyes, but focused on the floor. "I can hear my dad yelling for my mum to take me and hide. He was going to try to hold Voldemort off. Then I can hear my mum screaming, and pleading for Voldemort to kill her instead of me. And I can hear Voldemort telling her to get out of the way ... and I can hear him laughing. Then there's a flash of green light... That's all I remember."

Mr. Brooks stared at Harry with a pained look. "And you heard this when you were facing a dementor?"

Harry nodded. "I hear it every time."

Mr. Brooks swallowed and shook his head. "Can you tell me what Voldemort said to your mother? Exactly?"

Harry closed his eyes and told Mr. Brooks as much as he could remember. They then moved on to Harry's encounter with Voldemort in his first year at Hogwarts. Mr. Brooks asked Harry to recount every minute detail, from the first time he met Professor Quirrell in the Leaky Cauldron, until he passed out after facing Voldemort when Harry had retrieved the Philosopher's Stone. Harry strained to remember everything, hoping that in some way, his memories would help Mr. Brooks. Harry had to admit, recounting the memories was rather unnerving.

"We'll stop there for tonight, Harry," Mr. Brooks said an hour and a half later. "Are you able to come back tomorrow night?"

Harry nodded. "Sure. Same time?"

Mr. Brooks nodded, surveying Harry. He clasped his hands together in front of him, and stared into Harry's eyes. "Harry, if my information is correct, your next encounter with Voldemort was connected to the Chamber of Secrets and an old diary. Is this true?"

Harry nodded. "Yes. Voldemort had created a diary when he was younger."

"I understand you know the young girl who discovered this diary?"

Harry felt a lump rise in his throat. Ginny. "Yes, sir. I know her."

Mr. Brooks studied Harry. "Do you think she would be willing to talk to me?"

Harry shrugged. "I could ask her if you like."

Mr. Brooks nodded. "Yes. See if she can accompany you tomorrow night. I believe her insight would be valuable as well."

Harry nodded, feeling sick. He did not wish for Ginny to have to relive her experiences of Voldemort possessing her.

"Very well. I'll see you tomorrow night, Harry."

"Good night, Mr. Brooks," Harry said, rising from his chair.

Harry left Mr. Brooks's office and dragged himself up the stairs toward Gryffindor Tower. He was feeling quite shaken from his meeting with Mr. Brooks and was dreading asking Ginny to go through the same thing. He was quite sure Ginny would agree to meet Mr. Brooks, which only made Harry feel worse.

He clambered through the portrait hole and into the common room. He saw Ron and Hermione wave at him from their seats next to the fireplace. Harry returned their wave, but did not move to join them. He scanned the room. If he was going to ask Ginny about meeting Mr. Brooks, he wanted to get it over with.

He spotted her. She was sitting at a table at the far end of the room, bent over a piece of parchment, scribbling furiously. Her long red hair was hanging forward, hiding her face from him.

Harry walked over to her. "Hey, Ginny."

Ginny jumped and whipped her head up to look at Harry. Her face broke into a smile. "Harry! Don't sneak up on me like that!" she said, grinning.

Harry smiled at her, and then glanced around at the other students sitting with Ginny. They were all staring at Harry curiously. Harry looked back to Ginny. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Harry asked, nodding his head away from the table.

Ginny's eyebrows arched questioningly. "Sure," she said, rising from her chair.

Harry led her to a deserted corner of the common room. Harry didn't know how much, if anything, Ginny had talked to her friends about her experience with Voldemort. He did know that he didn't want an audience for their talk.

"What's up?" Ginny asked.

"I had my first meeting with Mr. Brooks tonight," Harry began.

Ginny's forehead wrinkled with concern. "Did it go all right?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "It was okay. It was a little weird thinking about all that stuff again."

Ginny nodded. "I can imagine."

Harry's throat tightened. He frowned at Ginny. "I have something to ask you."

Ginny put her hand on Harry's arm, her eyes wide. "What is it Harry?"

Harry looked into Ginny's eyes. She looked so worried. He sighed. "I'm supposed to meet with Mr. Brooks again tomorrow night."

Ginny nodded, still holding on to Harry's arm.

"He wanted me to ask you to come as well," Harry said slowly.

Ginny's eyes widened as her hand dropped from Harry's arm. Harry continued, "He wants to ask you about Voldemort...about the Chamber of Secrets."

Ginny stared at the floor. Harry wanted to tell her to say no, to tell her that she didn't have to do it, but he could not find his voice. He stood silently beside her.

She raised her eyes to Harry with a determined look on her face. "Okay. At what time?"

Harry smiled sadly at her. "Seven-thirty."

Ginny nodded and forced a smile. Harry grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I'll meet you here. We'll go down together. All right?"

Ginny squeezed his hand in return. "Okay, Harry."

Harry released her hand and watched her return to the table she was sitting at when he had come in. The students all leaned toward her, pummeling her with questions. Harry watched as Ginny pursed her lips and shook her head. She gathered her books and walked alone up the stairs to the girls' dormitory without a backwards glance.

Harry stood by the portrait hole in the Gryffindor common room Wednesday evening, waiting for Ginny. No one had seen much of her that day. Those that had seen her said she seemed withdrawn, not at all her usual self. Harry glanced around, wondering if Ginny had changed her mind. He almost hoped that she had.

As Harry looked around the room, his eyes fell on Parvati. She was sitting in one of the overstuffed armchairs next to Lavender. The two girls had their heads together as they pored over a textbook. Harry and Parvati had sat next to each other in each of their classes again. Harry had discovered that talking to Parvati was not nearly as difficult as he had expected, and that he rather enjoyed it. He didn't think that Ron minded being Hermione's partner in each class either.

Parvati looked up and met Harry's gaze. She smiled as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Harry grinned at her. He was considering walking over to talk to Parvati when a flash of red by the girls' staircase distracted Harry. He turned and saw Ginny rushing towards him. She looked tired and quite nervous.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked as Ginny approached him.

Ginny nodded and walked out the portrait hole. Harry followed her, feeling extrememly uneasy. They walked in silence.

Harry led them down the staircases to the fourth floor and along the corridor. He turned to face Ginny in front of Mr. Brooks's office door.

Ginny's face was extremely pale. She had dark circles under her eyes and her forehead was creased.

Harry placed his hand on Ginny's arm and looked down at her. "You don't have to do this Ginny."

Ginny looked up at Harry, her eyes shining brightly. "I'm scared. I've tried so hard to forget all of this," she whispered, her voice trembling.

Harry's heart broke. He hated that something he agreed to do had come to involve Ginny being hurt. He swallowed hard and repeated, "You don't have to do this."

Ginny shook her head and cleared her throat. She pulled herself up straight, raised her chin and looked determinedly into Harry's eyes. "Yes, I do." She turned and knocked on the door before Harry could say anything else.

Mr. Brooks opened the door and smiled down at Harry and Ginny. "Good evening. Please come in."

Harry and Ginny walked into the office as Mr. Brooks closed the door behind them. Ginny's eyes scanned the walls, her eyes wide.

Mr. Brooks walked behind his desk and held his hand to the two seats opposite him. "Please, have a seat."

Harry and Ginny moved silently to their chairs. Harry glanced at Ginny and noticed she was clasping her hands tightly in her lap.

Mr. Brooks nodded his head to Ginny. "Miss Weasley, I believe we met on the Hogwarts Express. You were in the prefect compartment, correct?"

Ginny nodded. "Yes, sir."

Mr. Brooks pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. He set them on his desk and looked at Ginny intently. "Miss Weasley, I will tell you what I have already told Harry. The things we discuss in this room stay in this room. I will record our conversation, but I will place a secrecy charm on this parchment so that no one else can read it. I acknowledge that the questions that I am going to ask you may be difficult to answer, but I ask that you answer them to the best of your ability."

Ginny nodded nervously.

"First, Miss Weasley, as I do not know anything about your experiences, I feel the need to ask ... would you prefer Harry to leave the room?"

Ginny's eyes shot to Harry. She shook her head and swallowed hard. "No, I want him to stay. I don't have anything to hide."

Harry felt his throat tighten. He reached over and grabbed Ginny's hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. She clasped onto his hand and didn't let go.

Mr. Brooks nodded. "Okay, Miss Weasley. Tell me when you first found Voldemort's diary."

Ginny took a deep breath. "Well, actually it was Tom Riddle's diary. At the time the diary was created, he had not yet become V-Voldemort." Harry felt Ginny shudder. She had never said Voldemort's name before.

Mr. Brooks nodded. Ginny continued, "I found the diary in my cauldron the first night at Hogwarts. I was unpacking my books and found it."

Mr. Brooks scribbled on his parchment. "And what did you do with it?"

"At first, I thought it must have been put in there by Fred or George -- they're my older brothers. They're always playing jokes on people. But they're harmless," Ginny explained, staring at the floor. "I didn't even consider it might be something I couldn't trust," Ginny said quietly.

"What happened next?"

"When I opened it, I saw the blank pages. I thought maybe it was written in invisible ink, or maybe there had been a charm placed on it. I decided to write my name in it ... you know, so no one would take it."

Mr. Brooks nodded, his quill scratching across the paper.

"When I wrote my name, the ink disappeared. Then... then there were someone else's words on the page."

Ginny swallowed and blinked her eyes quickly. She gripped Harry's hand tighter. "It was him."

Mr. Brooks nodded, looking at Ginny sympathetically. "Miss Weasley, I need to know what you wrote in the diary, and what Tom Riddle wrote back."

Ginny shrugged. "At first, it was just silly girl stuff. I complained about my brothers teasing me. I wrote about my worries about doing well in school." Ginny paused and grinned at Harry. "I declared my undying love for Harry Potter."

Harry felt his cheeks flush as he returned Ginny's grin.

Mr. Brooks cleared his throat. "How did Tom respond?"

Ginny returned her gaze to the floor. "He asked a lot of questions about Harry. I told him all about Harry and what he had been through. Of course, I never questioned why he asked me about Harry. I just thought he was being caring. He was sympathetic and said everything I needed to hear. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I could tell him anything and knew he wouldn't laugh at me or judge me. He was like a best friend," Ginny concluded quietly.

Harry looked at Ginny sadly, wishing he had been that friend she needed back then.

"And then, things changed," Ginny said, her voice trembling. "I started having blocks of time that I didn't remember where I was or what I was doing. I would black out and then come to in a completely different part of the castle than I remembered last being. When I confided this to Tom, he reassured me that I was just imagining things. He told me that I worried so much about school and fitting in that I had simply exhausted myself." Ginny paused, staring intently at the floor. She then continued, her voice cracking, "And I believed him. I was feeling so tired, and I felt so alone. He was the only one who really knew me. I put my trust in him and believed him." Ginny's eyes shot up angrily to Mr. Brooks. "It took awhile for me to realize he was just using me."

Mr. Brooks stared at Ginny sadly. "Tell me about that."

Ginny returned her gaze to the floor. "I began to notice how weak I felt after writing in the diary. It was like each time I wrote in it, I left a part of myself behind. And I couldn't ignore the facts anymore. Each time I had a blackout, there had been another student attack. I couldn't explain the paint all over my hands, or the feathers all over my robes. That's when I tried to get rid of the diary. I threw it in the toilet in Moaning Myrtles' bathroom. I was horrified when I discovered that Harry had found it."

Mr. Brooks's eyebrows knitted together. "Why is that?"

"I was scared Tom would tell Harry about my crush on him. I would have been mortified," Ginny replied.

Mr. Brooks turned to Harry. "Tell me about your experiences with the diary, Harry."

Harry explained how it had taken him some time to discover the secrets of the diary. He then explained how Tom had pulled Harry into the diary and showed him the memory of Tom finding Hagrid with Aragog.

"So, in the memory, he gave you no indication that he was actually the heir of Slytherin?" Mr. Brooks asked.

Harry shook his head. "No. I didn't know that until I went into the chamber."

"What happened to the diary?"

"It was stolen from my dormitory," Harry said, glancing at Ginny.

"I stole it," Ginny said quietly. "Like I said, I didn't want Tom to tell Harry about the things I wrote."

"Please continue, Miss Weasley."

Ginny took a deep, shaky breath. "Tom made quick work of me when I got the diary back. It wasn't long before he took me into the Chamber of Secrets."

"What do you remember?"

Ginny shuddered. "I really don't remember anything during the times that V-Voldemort possessed me." Ginny began wringing her hands, apparently unaware that Harry's was still intertwined with them. He winced slightly, but did not pull away. "I mean, I knew something had happened. I knew I didn't feel right." Ginny gulped. "I felt ... violated."

Mr. Brooks and Harry stared at Ginny in silence.

"That last time, though, was different. Deep down I knew he wasn't going to let me go. The darkness I was in seemed to get deeper and deeper. I felt my mind and my body slipping away. I was helpless. He had me. I knew he had me, and there was nothing I could do about it."

Ginny's trembling voice seemed to reverberate off the walls. Harry had put his head in his free hand, his breath shallow and strained. He had never heard Ginny talk about her experience; it was almost too much for him to bear.

Ginny continued, "The next thing I knew, I woke up in the chamber with Harry beside me and Tom was gone."

Mr. Brooks set down his quill and studied Ginny. "Miss Weasley, you are one of the bravest people I have ever met. Not only did you survive such a terrible experience, but you came here today to share it with a complete stranger. I admire you."

Ginny shook her head. "If it helps at all..."

"I assure you, what you have told me has opened my eyes greatly. I appreciate you coming tonight." Mr. Brooks turned to Harry. "Harry, I'd like to ask you a few more questions about your time in the chamber, but I think we have done enough for tonight. It would please me if you could escort Miss Weasley back to her room."

Harry nodded. "When would you like me to come back?"

"I believe Professor Pandoran was hoping to meet with you tomorrow night, and I would hate to bother you on a Friday night. How about Saturday? One o'clock?"

Harry nodded. "Sure, Mr. Brooks. I'll see you Saturday."

Mr. Brooks stood and opened the door for them. He held out his hand to Ginny. "Thank you again, Miss Weasley."

Ginny shook his hand and nodded.

Harry and Ginny stepped into the hallway in silence. They had walked several feet when Ginny stopped and turned to Harry. "Harry --"

Harry looked down at Ginny. His heart ached as he saw the tears in Ginny's eyes that she was fighting so hard to hold back.

Ginny brushed a few escaped tears angrily off her face. "How can he still make me feel like this?"

"It's okay, Ginny." Harry said, brushing her hair away from her face. "You don't always have to be strong."

Harry watched Ginny struggle with herself, willing herself not to cry. Ginny looked into Harry's eyes and saw sympathy and understanding. She let out a whimper, and then rushed into Harry's arms. Harry held her close to him, resting his chin on top of her head. Ginny cried, allowing herself to feel the horror that she had held in for so long.

Harry did not know how long they had stood there. He did not really care. Ginny had been there for him when he so badly needed someone, he knew he would stay there forever if that was what she needed.

Eventually, Ginny gently pushed herself away from Harry and wiped her face with her fingers.

"Sorry about that," Ginny said, avoiding Harry's eyes.

"Don't be sorry," Harry said softly. "Are you going to be okay?"

Ginny lifted her puffy red eyes to meet Harry's gaze. She nodded. "Thanks for being there for me, Harry. I don't think I could have made it through without you."

Harry gave Ginny a small smile. "I'll always be here for you, Gin."

Ginny studied Harry and then grinned. "You are one of a kind, Harry Potter."

Harry smiled at Ginny and then placed a hand on his chest and raised his eyebrows. In an air of faked arrogance, he replied, "Frankly, I don't know how you ever managed to get over me."

Ginny grinned at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Who said I did?"

Ginny turned and walked down the corridor, leaving Harry gaping after her.