How to Become a Phantom in Less than 10 Minutes

Chapter 2

"RAOUL!"

The Viscount dropped the remote so fast it nearly set fire in the process of falling. He gulped, shoving the DVD box under his pillow. Somewhere far, far away, the Tooth Fairy shook her head.

"Hello Sugar Cube." Raoul stumbled on his words as he spoke through a smiling face. Christine was oblivious to the look on Raoul's face. "Sugar cube?" She asked, tilting her head. "I'm no Christinebob Daaepants!" Raoul pretended to laugh.

"What are you doing up here all alone anyway?"

"Just watching TV." Raoul began to skim through the channels fast. "I'm watching this one."

"HOLY REYER! IS THAT MEG?" Both Christine and Raoul reached for the remote and to Raoul's disappointment, his DVD video came back on.

"And we are back with 'How to Become a Phantom in less than ten minutes'. As you can see, I am searching the catacombs of the Opera Garnier, or the Paris Opera house, or the Opera Populare, or the Phantom's Crib, whatever the hell it prefers to be called." Buquet explained. "We are now going to find M. Phantom himself, and get him on this very tape! Children, Wannabe Phantoms, Managers and Viscounts, please DO NOT try this at home!"

Of course, this was for legal purposes. The only reason why 'B-Quet' was chosen for the job because he's as dead as a doornail.

And at that time, Christine decided she wanted to try it because she wasn't listed in one of the categories. Hah.

"It's very dark down here. But not to a Phantom! Each Phantom is born with a Super-Dee-Duper Nightvision Accessory!"

And Nadir groaned.

"We have to watch our step, because anything can pop out at us at this VERY moment! Such as wax Christine's or the cast of Rent!" Buquet floated into a wall, but the poor Daroga cracked the lens of the camera trying to do the same, realizing he wasn't a ghost.

"OH SH—"

The scene changed with Nadir sitting on the floor, the camera facing him. And it did not have a cracked lens. "Hi… because I can't walk through walls, I'm kinda sitting here… by myself… it's dark… OH! I hear Buquet!"

"Hello Mr. Phantom… you look angry. Why are you angry? Um… I have a coupon from McDonalds and a shot on TV… why are you waving that lasso at me, Mr. Phantom?"

Poor, unhappy Erik was trying to get the Punjab lasso around Buquet's neck, but sadly, it went right through him.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE?" Erik boomed, this with Nadir dropping the camera into the green water or the rats, he couldn't tell.

"We're back again." Buquet announced, now back in one of the underground stairways. "Let's see if we can find Mr. Phantom again, maybe he'll be a little nicer this time."

Buquet gestured for the camera to follow him down the hallway.

"Nadir, where did you find those stockings?"

"Stockings?" Nadir asked innocently. "I'm not wearing any stockings!" He tossed Christine's missing stockings behind him, hitting Erik in the face. He threw them on the floor with a look of disgust.

"Oh! There's the Phan-Man!" Buquet giggled. "You should see how handsome you look in those pants!"

Erik clenched his fists, "Sarcasm and I are a deadly combination. And if you weren't a ghost, I'd have you killed."

Nadir cleared his throat, "Erm, Erik? You already killed him."

Buquet laughed. "No, I'm alive. Really."

Nadir and Erik exchanged a glance. "I've warned you once already. Get OUT of my lair!"

"But we need you for a documentary! How to become a Phantom in less than 10 minutes!" Buquet pleaded, pointing to the camera. Erik walked over to it and examined it, clearly confused. "Goodbye."

Erik's fist was the last thing seen before the screen went black.