It was a few hours still before dawn. She had woken up from that same dream that had been haunting her nights. She couldn't remember everything about that dream but the last part was the most vivid.
"I'm leaving you for good!" the brown haired little boy told her. She saw that he was clasping something in his hands. "We were never meant to be Meilin…" She saw him open his petite hands, carelessly letting the robin fly away…
That scenario had always shattered her resolve. The realization of things that the fantasy she had created of her and Syaoran was doomed from the start, left her feeling weak and unwanted. Remorse… helplessness… She couldn't describe it! Her raging emotions were maddening her! All she was sure about right now was that her heart wasn't content, it longed for his feelings, his touch, even if it was just a glimpse of affection from him --- it longed for him. She just couldn't stop herself from crying… Why? Why could he not have loved her instead? She gave him her all hadn't she? Then she realized it… The love and hope were always coming from her side and never from the damn boy the feelings were directed at. Maybe it was too much? She felt fresh tears gracing her already tear-stained face. She had pushed her feelings, given too much and thus in the process loosing the only man she loved since childhood. It pained her too much to remember that he wasn't hers anymore…never was. She wanted to die right then and there, feeling that if she did… no one would care... He was with HER now! But she couldn't hate the girl, what they have was what she had always longed for… a pure love from him.
She stood up and walk to the balcony of her room. The moon was still up, casting down her enchanting beams, her eerie glow bathing everything around her in silver. She wasn't always delighted with the sight of the moon. Everything about her was too enchanting, too saddening for her.
But that night, she felt grateful for the moon. Meilin felt that the moon was reaching out for her, basking her in the serene moonlight, trying to drown out her sorrows. Maybe this is why she never favored the moon back then, when everything was perfect and she was still blind and merry. She hadn't yet realized what the moon was for. The moon was for people like her…those who could only hide their loneliness…those who could only share their misery with the stillness of the night.
She didn't know when her tears had stopped falling. Maybe she just didn't have anymore tears left to shed. Maybe she had already cried enough. She shivered and looked up to the moon. It was still there, proud and ethereal. She wanted to be like that, strong and unfazed by being alone. From then on she vowed to forget about the one-sided feelings for him. No more crying for her. Tomorrow was a new day and she was going to move on like he had. No more tears. She wanted none of the pain and hurt she was feeling now. She was going to change. Maybe for the best…to prevent her heart from shattering to pieces again…
Haha my first shot at making a fic.. the story was a little too random. Well its a 1st anyway! No flames plz!Go easy on me!hahahaand please leave a review! tanks!