"Ashley, it's alright, honey, it's alright." She cooed, shushing her softly. "It's alright."
Ashley sobbed louder, pushing Kate roughly from her.
"No! It's not alright!" Ashley's voice rose. "It'll never be alright!"
"Honey..." Kate reached for her but was slapped away.
"Just go away!" Ashley screamed, her thin hands covering her ears. "I'm fine, I'm fucking fine!"
Kate stepped back, her mouth slightly agape. Her brow furrowed in confusion. Kate stumbled backwards, nearly landing on Toby. Toby frowned, his eyes darting from Kate to Ashley.
"Aren't you going to do something?" He asked.
Kate sighed, raising her hands in surrender. She hurried out of the room, her heavy footsteps echoing throughout the hallway. Ashley continued to cry, her face buried in a round pillow with a huge smiley face on it.
"What is wrong with you?" Toby asked incredulously, cocking an eyebrow.
"Get the fuck out!" Ashley shrieked, throwing the damp pillow at her doorway.
She heard him make a sound of disgust as he walked back towards his own room. Her chest heaved as she tried to calm herself, her attempt at steady breaths interrupted by shaking sobs. Her hands shook as she grabbed a sweatshirt from a pile of clothes on her bureau. Tugging it over her head, she slipped a pair of tennis shoes on and stepped lightly onto the carpet.
She smoothed her unwashed hair against her damp cheeks, walking determinedly for the front door. As she passed her parents' closed bedroom door, she overheard their heated words.
"I don't know what to do, Jeff." She heard tears in her mother's voice. "I knew she'd have some issues after everything, but I didn't think it'd be this bad!"
"We'll get her a therapist, and see how that goes." She heard Jeff sigh. "We'll get through this."
Kate sobbed quietly, Jeff moving to hold her. Ashley could hear him whispering soothing words to her. It made her sick to her stomach. A new fire burning inside of her, she stormed to the front door, slamming it shut as she stepped into the brisk night air.
The cold bit into her legs. She wished she had grabbed some sweats, instead of wandering off into the night in a pair of boy shorts. The icy blades of grass crunched beneath her heavy footsteps as she found herself walking along Craig's block.
She shivered as she stepped onto his porch, hesitating before punching the doorbell. The shrill ring startled her. Angela appeared, peeking through a crack in the door.
"Yes?" Her small voice was muffled by the oak door.
"Hey, Angie!" Ashley feigned a smile. "Is Craig home?"
"...yea." Angie opened the door, then turned, returning to her place on the couch, SpongeBob prancing across the screen.
Ashley breathed a sigh of contentment as she stepped inside the Jeremiah home, the warmth rushing over her. The scent of a pot roast caused her to salivate, her empty stomach growling. She wondered how long it had been since she had had more than liquor.
"Who was at the door, Ang?" Craig came around the corner, wiping his hands on a red and white checkered apron.
His eyes fell upon Ashley, his cheeks turning a pleasant shade of red.
"Ash! Hey!" He tugged the knot from the apron and quickly tugged it off. "Haven't heard from you in awhile." He smiled uneasily, tossing the apron on the couch.
"I've been kind of out of it." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "What have you been up to?"
"Oh, not much. School, y'know." He shrugged. "Missed you there."
"School?" Ashley's eyes widened. "When did it start?"
"Last week." Craig's brow furrowed. "You really have been out of it, haven't you?"
"Yea, guess so." Ashley sighed, pulling out a chair for herself. "How's that going? School, I mean."
"You know, school is just...school." Craig shrugged nonchalantly. "Ellie's been asking about you. I couldn't really tell her anything, I mean, your mom never said a word when I called."
"Yea..." Ashley made patterns on the tile with her shoes. "So how about some pot roast?"
Craig laughed, making her a plate. Before his hand had even left it, she pounced on the food, devouring it like a rabid carnivore.
"God, I was starving!" She exclaimed through a mouthful.
Craig just nodded, a look of bemused disbelief on his face.
The front door clicked open, and the sound of a briefcase being set down on the tile was heard. Angie jumped form the couch and ran towards the door. Craig sat up, giving Ashley a signal for 'one second'.
"Hey, Joey!" He sounded like he wanted something. "Guess who decided to drop by?"
She heard an audible sigh.
"Yea, I know. Ashley. Her mom called me at work." Joey's voice didn't sound entirely pleased. "We're not a halfway house, Craig."
"What? No, no, no. It's not like that. Maybe just for the night?" Craig grinned hopefully.
"Craig...one night." Joey frowned. "Don't you have group tonight?"
"Yea, but I was going to skip it because Ashley's here." Craig pointed back to the dining room.
"No, you should go." Joey paused for a second. "Better yet, take her with you."
Craig shrugged and turned back towards the kitchen. Sighing, he sank into the chair opposite her.
"So Joey says you can crash here." He said nonchalantly, popping a carrot in his mouth. "On one condition."
"I could hear you guys talking." She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Oh." He blushed. "Well then...you want to shower and get ready? Groups in forty five minutes."
Ashley shrugged complacently.
"Sure. Whatever."
"Oh-kay...I'll get you some clothes, then." He kissed her softly on the cheek.
She sighed loudly as soon as he was out of earshot. Ashley drummed her fingers along the countertop.
"Woohoo. Group."
A half an hour later, Craig and Ashley stepped off the bus and onto the damp street. Craig grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly as he led her into the building.
"I'll just wait for you down at the coffee house, 'kay?" Ashley feigned a smile, trying to pull her hand away.
"No, no, no." Craig held on, locking his arm around her waist. "This has helped me more than you know. You made me go. Now I'm making you go."
"Craig, I don't want to tell a bunch of strangers about my problems." Ashley stopped walking, her words echoing through the stairwell.
"They're not strangers. They're friends." He released her waist, clasping both her hands in his. "This is a good thing."
"Okay." She looked him directly in the eyes. "Okay."
Smiling, he kissed her on the cheek.
"You won't regret this." He smiled even wider. "I promise."
Craig bounded up the next few flights of stairs, with Ashley half-heartedly following. When they reached the heavy double doors, Ashley paused. Craig quickly sidestepped her, pushing them open.
"Hey, El!" He waved exuberantly across the room to Ellie.
Ellie smiled, her expression turning to concern at Ashley. She strode over to them, a paper cup of complimentary kool-aid in her ring-laden hand.
"Ash! Though you'd dropped off the face of the planet." Ellie laughed uneasily, taking a sip.
"Nope." Ashley smiled sardonically. "Gravity killed that plan."
"Ash, I want you to meet Clarke." Craig smiled at Ellie and pulled Ashley away towards a non-descript twenty-something. "Clarke! This is Ashley."
"Hey, Craig!" The two shook hands. "Ah, the famous Ashley, it's a pleasure." He extended a hand for her to shake, but she didn't return the gesture. "So, what made you decide to accompany Craig to the meeting tonight?"
"Actuall-" Ashley started, but was cut off by Craig.
"Oh, you know, the usual!" He glanced at Ashley, silently pleading with her to relax.
"The usual? Heh..." Clarke nodded uncomfortably. "Well, then, let's get started. Can I have everybody take a seat?"
Fifteen or so people shuffled over to the circle of lump, plastic chairs. Ashley turned to Craig, her chair scraping the linoleum.
"Can we go? Please?" She rested a hand on his knee. "Please? I just want to go."
"Ash, you need this." He whispered reassuringly. "Breathe."
"Okay, so we have a newcomer here tonight. Ashley, this is everyone, everyone, Ashley." Clarke smiled and pointed her out.
A few muttered "hello"s filled the vacuous room. Ashley grabbed Craig's hand, entwining her fingers with his.
"You want to tell us a little about why you're here?" Clarke smiled, his hands folded in his lap.
Ashley paused, a heavy silence settling over the group.
"Well...um...I-I was raped."