Hi y'all! More Jack Sparrow-y goodness in this chapter! I absolutely refuse to do his grammar that we find so often here. I.e. "yer" instead of "you", "luv" instead of "love" and my number one favourite "onesies" instead of "myself". I can't do it properly to tell you the truth actually and all his dialogues end up sounding like Hagrid's from Harry Potter.

DISCLAIMER: see previous chapter

Ethel woke with a horrible headache.

CynicalReader: Don't they always? I mean seriously, does that even NEED to be stated? She was totally wasted the night before!

SmartReader: Hey, the author is just trying to tell us how she is feeling. A story has to have FEELINGS you know! And if I'm not mistaken, Rule #47 in the Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sue Writing Academy is that "The chapter after the chapter that states that Mary Sue gets drunk and ends up with Jack must begin with a description of said Mary Sue's hangover"

Ethel stretched and the pain in her head worsened. She groaned and turned and found that she was lying on someone.

Wesley: Argh! Get off me you big fat lump!

Ethel felt the metal of his shovel dig into her back painfully and quickly rolled off the bed. This resulted in her falling to the ground. All this commotion woke another person sleeping on the bed.

Jack: 'ello love!

Ethel: Oh god. We didn't. Seriously. Did we?

Jack: We both did have a lot of fun last night.

SmartReader: Ah yes of course, Rule #3122 "Bad innuendos are always to be used the day after Mary Sue gets drunk and ends up with Jack".

ObservantReader: At least the author hasn't made an innuendo about "pillaging someone's booty" (shudder)

PickyReader: Shouldn't we be getting a description of where she is by now?

AngryReader: We should, if you all kept your traps shut!

PickyReader: (sulks) Meanie.

Horrified, Ethel sat on the ground looking up at a grinning Jack who was busy putting his clothes on. Oh, did I mention before that he was SHIRTLESS!

AllReaders: (swoon) Yay! Shirtless!Jack.

AllReadersWhoAren'tJackFans: Dude, get a grip on yourselves.

Jack: I must say, you are quite the wild one.

Ethel: (cradles head) My head hurts.

Jack: (comes over with a compassionate look in his eyes - )

CynicalReader: Ok, stop right there. Can anyone actually imagine that Jack would do something like that? Wouldn't he just laugh and tell you to stop making such a fuss over nothing?

AngryReader: This is fanfiction. And in fanfiction characters have a right to go out of character to further along the romance storyline. It's like an unwritten law for bad writers. And besides, who wouldn't want a big bad pirate go all soft over a girl?

CynicalReader: Good point. My bad.

Jack: You okay love? It looks like you drank a lot last night.

Ethel: (mumbles) What happened last night?

Jack: Sorry, can't hear you there love!

Ethel: (glares)

Jack: Just kidding! You passed out after your little "dance" and I carried you here to my bed with me.

Ethel: (frightened helpless look)

CynicalReader: Yes, because all big bad pirates are so turned on by frightened helpless looks.

HappyReader: Just because you can't get dates!

CynicalReader: Shut up.

Jack: (reassuringly) Don't worry, the monkey here made sure nothing happened between us. (bitter look at the monkey)

Wesley: Damn straight! (gives a menacing stare)

Jack: And besides, I don't swing that way. I try to keep my company to my own species.

Ethel: Well that's good news. (hangover miraculously clears up). So where are we?

Jack: You're aboard the Black Pearl!

(Silence)

Ethel: Seriously?

Jack: Uh huh – er, I mean, aye!

Ethel: Crap.

I know nothing a lot happened there, but I've got school! School! Grrrr…..

FanFicLover90 – Thank you so much for your review! If you've read many Mary Sues, you can probably figure out how Ethel and Jack get together – in a very lame and contrived way. This will be no different!

Ace's Buddy – Muchos gracias on the review!

Lovova – Thank you for your review! And thank you so much for telling me that my anonymous reviewer thingy was disabled. I had no idea! Just goes to show how long I've been away …

Again, I don't want my baby taken down again, so if something about this story is going against rules, please tell me so that I can rectify it!