A/N: Am I doing anything wrong? If I am, hollaback girl. Ew. I can't believe I just used that phrase (shudder). I don't want this fic taken down!
Disclaimer: Why do I have to do this every time? POTC doesn't belong to me and I'm not making any money off this. If I was, I'd be sitting in a holiday home in Majorca.
The moonlight from the open porthole fell upon a lithe, slender body of a beautiful girl in her early twenties thrashing around in her sleep –
AngryReader: Oh yeah, they're always in their early twenties. What was so good about my early twenties? All I remember from that time was bad fashion and David Bowie.
HappyReader: Don't forget about that time when you got dumped by George Wilson.
AngryReader: Hey, I dumped George Wilson thank you very much! I didn't even touch his frickin' used keyboards collection!
AllReaders: Right …
PickyReader: Ew. David Bowie.
Ethel: (rolling around) No, no … not the bunnies! God! NOT THE BUNNIES!
(Using our special Reader powers, we are able to see into Ethel's nightmare)
Ethel stands in a field of evil pumpkins, ready to attack. They are advancing and surrounding her means of escape in all directions. She screams and finds herself in a fire lit cave, staring down at a hole in the ground about the size of a coin. "Look down" a taunting voice echoes. Ethel looks down and is sucked down it to pleading, agonised screams. She sees a young blonde girl, crying, looking on to what must be her mother, being dragged away by pirates. The little girl's father was lying on the beach, dead from trying to defend his wife. The young girl is picked up roughly by a pair of dirty hands. She struggles for escape but is knocked out instantly.
She is now on the edge of a cliff, looking down as the waves collide with the rocks below. Tears clouding her eyes, Ethel jumps. She lands into a pool of clamouring bunnies.
Ethel: (sits bolt upright) Gah! (breathes heavily)
Wesley: (in his own smaller hammock) Who? Wha? Where? When? The hell?
Ethel: It's okay, I just had a bad dream. Go back to sleep. I'm going out for some fresh air.
Ethel walked out onto the deck and followed the railing to the bow of the ship, looking out at the stars. Who was the girl in her dreams? Was it her? Where is her mother now? This must mean that she was slowly regaining her memory.
CynicalReader: Duh.
While in the midst of her ponderings, a voice broke the silence.
SympatheticReader: Whoa! Didn't she just remember that her parents are kinda like – dead?
PickyReader: Why is it that all the Mary Sues' parents are always dead? That is just so morbid.
CynicalReader: It just goes to show how unhappy the Mary Sues' authors are with their parents, remember, they are based on them. And besides, it gives them much more freedom to go off and have their little 'adventures'.
SympatheticReader: I love my parents!
Author: Could we please stop talking about parents, you're ruining the future plotlines of my story!
Jack: Stargazing huh?
Ethel: (spins around) Uh huh.
Jack: (leans back on rail) Why are you up so late?
Ethel: (blushes for NO REASON WHATSOEVER) I couldn't sleep. Bad dream.
The two of them were standing close together. Too close, thought Ethel and tried to move away. Just as she tried to do that, Jack's arm wrapped around her waist.
Jack: (whispering into Ethel's ear) Where do you think you're going?
Ethel: (gulp)
ObservantReader: Away from you jackass!
AnticipatingReader (aka HornyReader): SHUT UP!
ObservantReader: (squeak)
Ethel spun to face Jack. He was leaning closer and closer. Their lips were about to touch when a yell came down from the crow's nest.
InterruptingPirate: Captain! There's a ship up ahead!
PickyReader: Ok, I swear, there's a more pirate-y way of saying that.
HappyReader: Like what?
Author: (blank stare that mirrors Ethel's from the chapter before) …
Jack left her immediately, before Ethel's –
AngryReader: - very small
- brain could begin to comprehend what had just happened.
CynicalReader: But of course, as she is a Mary Sue, her mind was on only one thing.
Ethel: (thinking) (whooshing wind noise) He … almost … kissed … me! (cricket chirps) (more whooshing wind noises)
AngryReader: That was an amazingly stupid chapter.
HappyReader: I thought it was getting better at the end.
CynicalReader: No, we were just getting drunker honey.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (dude, I am so obsessed!) A/N: Or at least I used to be …
REVIEW ME! I'LL GIVE YOU FREE DAQUIRIS! Okay, maybe not … but still.
Merrybean – Thank you very much for your review! I'll let you in on a secret … I am guilty of a self-insertion in this fic, because I AM Wesley. Or, Wesley says what I want to. Keep reading!
Rionarch – Thanks very much for the review! I love you too! How good was DMC! Yeah, you probably already know that if you're here. Personally I am a Jack/OC shipper, for obvious reasons, but there are some pretty crazy stuff out there!
FanFicLover – Hee! I wonder which group you belong to!
Ace's Buddy – Ah, CynicalReader hates Jack's compassionate look, 'tis true, but deep down, we all love it. But honestly can you REALLY imagine Jack EVER being compassionate, caring or nice? Because I really can't (within character) unless he had some personal gain. Oh well, a girl can dream right?