It is now the holidays. Holidays more time. More time more chapters.

Disclaimer: See previous chapter.

There was mass panic on the deck. Or excitement, Ethel couldn't tell. Everyone was getting ready for battle. Because everyone knows that pirates love battles. Not love like as you would love your mother, but more like love like "you would love to get ice creams waiting for you each hot day after school". Anyway, back to the story. Excitement. Deck. Ethel. Standing there like an idiot.

Jack: (goes into pirate mode) Get ready to board everyone! I'll be in my cabin to get my lucky bonnet.

Wesley: (comes out from room to run up and sit on Ethel's shoulder) Bonnet? That guy is definitely not telling you the whole truth.

Ethel: (stares at Jack's retreating back) Isn't he dreamy?

Wesley: Snap out of it! We have our lives to defend, flashbacks to be flashed back to, traumas to be dealt with, skills to realise, captains to fall in love with and drownings to be accomplished! Now chop chop!

The Black Pearl was drawing nearer and nearer to the other ship which happened to be a –

CynicalReader: Toy sailing boat!

HappyReader: Catamaran!

StupidReader: A bus!

- merchant vessel.

PickyReader: Ah, yes. That's the money quote.

Jack came striding out, pink-laced bonnet in lieu of his usual oddly shaped hat.

Claire: That's a good sight.

Author: How the hell did you get into my story?

Claire: I have powers you can't even begin to imagine.

Ethel: Hey! You're stealing my future lines!

Danielle: Quiet you.

Ethel: (droopy voice) Yes miss.

Author: (stares at Danielle) I give up. Help yourselves to some drinks over there. You're going to need them after this chapter.

Jack: Prepare to board!

People rush around. There are some grapple hooks involved. Lots of swinging rope action. Pirate-y stuff happens. Pirates are boarding the ship. Helpless merchants on the other ship - called the Bumbling Buffoon - are fighting. The pirates are winning the fight. Swords are pinging, or whatever sounds swords make. Zwing, zwing, zwing.

Danielle: Those are lightsaber sounds.

Author: Shut up, or I'll tell everyone about your Mark Hamill shrine.

Danielle: Wench.

Claire: Light – what now?

PickyReader: Oh yes, when the author is lazy, resort to a paragraph with bad sentences. Hell, they're not even right sentences but fragments of sentences.

HappyReader: It gets the job done doesn't it?

Author: If you didn't like it, just substitute it with the scene from the movie where Barbossa and crew are boarding the Interceptor. Just replace Barbossa with Jack.

BarbossaFan: Mmmmm … Barbossa.

Everyone Else: No. Not right.

In the middle of all of this, Ethel was still standing on the same spot, not moving from her position. At all.

Jack: You know you really shouldn't be here love. How about you stay in my cabin until everything (dagger whizzes past ear) settles down a bit?

Ethel: Okie dokie.

Ethel skipped merrily to the doors leading to Jack's room, completely oblivious to the fighting that was taking place only mere metres away from her. She opened the door and barricaded herself in. Always a smart move when there is danger right outside your door.

Ethel: Now all we have to do is sit right here and wait.

Wesley: For what?

It seemed that the monkey's query had triggered something, for there was a large pounding on the door.

UnidentifiedMale: Let's see what Captain Jack Sparrow has locked up in here!

The door was broken open and in stormed a pirate. He was tall, a gangrel creature with an ill-favoured look about him. His enormous beard hid most of the pale face that turned to a frightened Ethel, sitting on the bed. His face seemed vaguely familiar.

CynicalReader: Vaguely familiar? Why doesn't she just put in – "He was her father" or "He killed her parents" or "He saved her" or "He was her long lost brother who used to like to spit wads into her hair"?

AngryReader: Spitwads? What are we in, year four?

UnidentifiedMale: Well, I see that Sparrow has good taste. What's your name lass?

Ethel: E … e … e … e …

UM: Come on, out with it!

Ethel: Eve? No. Erin? Erica? Evelyn? No. Ethel! That's right! Ethel.

Ethel looked quickly around for Wesley, but he was nowhere in sight. Of all the times that she needed him, this was the time he chose to bolt. Coward.

UM: I think I'll be taking you back with me. Find out exactly why Sparrow has kept you for so long.

PickyReader: Isn't his ship kinda in trouble? Since the Black Pearl's crew were winning. And wasn't the ship that they attacked carried merchants, not pirates? And why did it suddenly get so dark?

SmartReader: We just fell in a plothole, jackass.

The UnidentifiedMale lunged and grabbed Ethel's hair, but just as he leant over she saw a pendant around her neck. The very same one as hers but in reverse design.

Let's play "Spot the Lord of the Rings Quote" here shall we? You have to tell me where it is in the chapter, where in the movie/book it is, who says it, and to who.

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