No-one really reads this bit in the beginning, so on with the story!

Disclaimer: Disney owns POTC, Tolkien owns LOTR.

Ethel: (gibbers) The … pendant … I … have …

UnidentifiedMale: Shut up! (clobs Ethel around the head hard and good)

Ethel: Ow!

AllReaders: Yay!

Ethel was dragged, unconscious towards the side of the ship by this man. He stopped when Jack appeared, bloody and triumphant from the battle.

UM: Well well, Jack Sparrow isn't it?

Jack: Er. Do I know you? Hey! You've got my woman there!

UM: Not yours anymore. Mwahahahaha. (spots that his ship is being rigged with explosives) Cough. Ah, maybe we can sort this out over a nice bottle of rum?

Jack: I think not. (draws sword) Let her go or I'll poke you with this here pointy contraption.

A yell sounded behind the pirate captain –

PickyReader: Nice way of showing some difference in the writing. Not referring to a character by name.

HappyReader: Are you being sarcastic?

PickyReader: You know, I can't really tell anymore.

HappyReader: Huh.

- , it was one of the sailors of the Bumbling Buffoon. He had freed himself of the ropes binding him to the mast pole and began to free his fellow sailors. The crew of the Black Pearl were completely taken at unawares as they were witnessing the exchange between the grizzly pirate and their captain instead of minding the prisomers as they should've done. Jack turned around to help his crew into binding the sailors again, completely ignoring the fact that Ethel was in danger.

CynicalReader: This also serves the dual purpose of distracting Jack so that Ethel can prove her "fighting abilities".

HappyReader: Why do you have to be so cynical?

CynicalReader: I don't think your name should be HappyReader anymore. It should be something more fitting like "DoubleDigitIQReader".

OptimisticReader: That was harsh.

AttentiveReader: Pipe down guys, stuff's happening.

Ethel scrabbled in vain to loosen the grip on her hair. Biting, kicking, screaming and slapping proved useless over the yells of battling pirates. Her flailing hands made contact with the handle of a sword. She deftly picked it up with fingers that remembered what she herself didn't. It was like as if that sword unlocked a barrier in her as she clamped her captor's arm and twisted. The man yelled and she felt his grip loosen. She quickly stood up and faced her attacker with the sword held perfectly between them. Needless to say, she kicked his butt thoroughly and professionally with style. Jumps, kicks, parries and much ducking followed. She finally killed the man but not before acquiring a possibly fatal wound of her own. She was stabbed in the stomach. Buffy-style. Ouch. She fell down to her knees and grabbed the man's pendant, ripping it off before she fainted.

CynicalReader: -

ObsessiveReader: Don't start. We all knew that this was coming.

CynicalReader: squeak

The Lord of the Rings quote was – "The door was broken open and in stormed a pirate. He was tall, a gangrel creature with an ill-favoured look about him. His enormous beard hid most of the pale face that turned to a frightened Ethel, sitting on the bed."

It was Faramir descibing Gollum in The Two Towers to Sam and Frodo in Henneth Annun. I'm a geek. It's established fact, you don't need to inform me.

I think this story is a strong testimony that someone with absolutely no knowledge of ships or the sea can base an entire story on that particular location. Go me!

Saber Apricot – I hope you're still reading this! If not, that's okay, the script-format is not everyone's cup of tea. Thanks for your kind review anyway!

Ace's Buddy – Nothing wrong with being a little self-absorbed! Haha. I made Ethel and Jack kiss! That has to be worth something!

Music nerd – No words can express what I feel at the moment. Except for – ARE YOU MY TWIN! Because you are awesome and so am I, so we must be long lost twins. There really is nothing wrong with reading/writing Mary Sues, really! As long as you don't take it too seriously and don't try to hurt yourself when you get reviews like "this is a Mary Sue", you're fine. Love you!

AAA – Thank you for your review! No, I am CynicalReader! Haha. Nah, I've found out that CynicalReader is a lot of people.

Merrybean – Thank you so much for your continued read-age! Who didn't like (still likes) David Bowie? Really.