AUTHOR'S NOTE: Xiaoyu while on the time travel to change history brings back in an icon of history who disrupts an entire family to just prove his experiments of heredity and genetics. This is a one shot real stomach ache laughter. Enjoy and as you do please read and review.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any tekken stuff that belongs to Namco.
TEKKEN HEREDITY-MENDEL STYLE
The time machine whirred past rotating and buzzing furiously. The sailor uniformed pony tailed bouncy Ling Xiaoyu was just holding on to some rods and supportives as she stood frozen on one spot as if sub zero from Mortal Kombat just deep froze her. She was all wide eyed and wide open, so wide that a fly or a mosquito might have got in.
XIAOYU: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeee, screamed the pony tailed tekken fighter Ling Xiaoyu as she held on to the supportives. Yeesh me and my big mouth, this is the worst merry go round ride I have ever experienced only that it also goes round up instead of staying in one place. I should tried to put things as it is. Not act like some time squad super girl who would have gone and saved the little spike senior of Jin instead me putting him in the hole or well or something. Hey I atleast did one thing good. Along with poor Kazuya I did knock out baldy boy as well. Say his head did shine better in the past with all that rain cleaning his head. No wonder his head stinks when I am near him.
She was going round and round and round when suddenly she heard something get stuck or fixed with a sort of a splooshing sound.
XIAOYU: Hey what was that? She remarked. I hope I did not run into any cats or dogs. Hey wait a minute. This is a time thingy not a car.
Then as she was about to rest with circulation she saw a button beep. Seeing this her mouth began to water.
XIAOYU: OOOOOOOOOOOO what does this button do?
Seeing this she pressed one too many times and the machine of Chronos began to spin faster and travel a lot more faster. She wailed like a banshee with a voice so loud that it could break glasses and break apart the time machine. Finally old opened loudmouth reached to the time and place where she was.
Dr. Bosconovich who saw her return went and checked on Xiaoyu. What he saw stunned him. Xiaoyu was there fallen, drooling, her hair stuck up like the Mishimas and her eyes squinted. Dr. Bosconovich then tapped and shoved Xiaoyu to wake up, but nothing would wake her up. Then he suddenly got an idea. He went to the animal sector, got a white rat and then just put it on her. Xiaoyu on hearing a squeaking sound saw this and ran here and there wailing as usual. Dr. Bosconovich could do nothing, but just watch her perform track and field. When she saw the rat go into a hole, she saw the doctor who was all there lying pretending he knew nothing. She jumped straight to him and gave a slap, WHAM on his shiny grassy head. The doctor could only just cry out a whimper for the pain.
XIAOYU: Doc what do you think you were doing. You know I hate mice. Then why.
To this the doc who now had an ice bag on his head adjusted his bifocals
BOSCONOVICH: My child, you were just lying there like Miaka Yuki in jail. I had to trigger you up with a rat attack. So I did and it worked perfectly with a heavy price paid on my head.
Xiaoyu just kept her face low.
XIAOYU: Sorry doc guess I should have thought before I acted.
BOSCONOVICH: Forget it child. It is over. By the way did you save Kazuya? What happened there?
XIAOYU: Have good news and bad news. The good news I managed to knock down Heihachi? You should have seen him that time. His playground was shinier and cleaner than yours by that rain.
The doctor on hearing lifted an eyebrow and
XIAOYU: Enough with those comments, what about the bad news. Let me guess you also knocked down spiky Kazuya. Is it not?
Xiaoyu nodded her head as a yes and cried. The doctor seeing her went over and comforted her by patting her. Xiaoyu on feeling this jumped back and went into her phoenix stance.
XIAOYU: Hey doc, enough with this nice mice business. You do know I hate mice don't you.
BOSCONOVICH: No child I don't have any mice with me now. I just wanted to tell you not to get sad and only to tell you that you cannot change the future at all. It was because of Yoshi we had to go on with such pain. Wait till I get that cockroach for this. By the way child did you get anything else on your rather very long travel?
XIAOYU: No doc not much. I did hear some squishy sound back at the time thingy. Can we check it out? To this the doctor nodded and as they were about to go, a sudden moaning groaning painful voice was heard.
Xiaoyu suddenly got stunned and went into her fighting stance. The old doctor winked on hearing this. He remarked her to go and check it out. They went and did so and what they saw surprised both of them so much that it just brought their eyeballs of their sockets.
The doctor stood there stunned and Xiaoyu was also confused.
XIAOYU: Hey doc, I think I took an old church father with me. I wonder who he is.
The doctor did nothing, but smack her hard with his condenser.
BOSCONOVICH: You stupid little girl, he is no church father. He is a scientist who discovered genetics. He is Johann Gregor Mendel.
Xiaoyu grabbing her head.
XIAOYU: Hey what do you mean mental.
BOSCONOVICH: Not mental, it is Mendel. He is the father of genetics. Let us wake him up. He may have been hurt.
They took him and set him upon a bed. Medicine was given and then about three hours later he began to stir.
MENDEL: Where am I. What in the world of great Jesus is going on?
DOC: Fear not Dr. Mendel, I am Dr. Bosconovich and you are in our time.
MENDEL: What. Are you insane? How can I be on your time?
DOC: That's because you got stuck on my time machine.
MENDEL: Hmmmmm. It seems that time machine you state must be the thing that I got magnetized and hypnotized into. Very interesting. Where am I now?
DOC: In our time. Fear not for you are safe among friends.
XIAOYU: Yeah doc. Oh look at the time. Got to go. By doc. Bye Dr. Mental.
DOC AND MENDEL: It is Mendel.
XIAOYU: Yeah whatever bye.
Next day, there is a very big stage built. Many people are assembled. Many of the tekken fighters have come. On the stage were the Mishimas and the Kazamas and along with Dr. Mendel and Bosconovich. This reason for the function was that because Dr. Mendel was going to do some hereditary and genetics research on the Mishimas regarding their devil gene.
MENDEL: Good evening gentleman, ladies, and animals along with brainless fighters. I am Dr. Gregor Mendel here who would be doing some research on the devil gene now. Jesus protect me my lord.
KAZUYA, JIN, AND JINPACHI: What, you dare say our enemy's name?
MENDEL: No I am just saying my friend's name?
KAZUYA, JIN, AND JINPACHI sweat drop: Oh OK.
MENDEL: Now in this family of Wishimas all the people except Baldachi, I mean Heihachi has the devil gene. Yesterday from an extensive research, I have come to the conclusion that this devil gene is rather natural and artificial for this supernatural or a stupid natural was able to blend in with this human gene.
KAZUYA: Hey what do you mean by stupid natural?
JINPACHI: Yes how could you mean by whatever he or you said?
JIN: Yeah it is not fair. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Jin cries and runs to his father who gives him a smack on the head. He then runs to his mother Jun.
JIN: Mommy mommy bad mental man hurt and bad dad hurt me. Head paining. Can you make it feel better.
JUN: Sure honey sure.
Jun suddenly smirked and just shoved Jin to both Anna and Nina Williams who were sitting on the audiences left row. He fell and both sisters smiled.
NINA: Awwww look at the poor little old big baby Jin who fell over us.
ANNA: Awww. He looks so cute when he is on his little hood and pants. Hey he would even look cuter without any?
NINA: Yeah Anna what's say we bathe little big Jin and you know give him something, say Williams effect.
ANNA: Wow Nina that's really brilliant lets do it. Oh boy I can almost fell his strong butt. Hey I will be first to go since I am younger than you. Cause I never rode on devil horses before and this one is excellent.
NINA: OK you can go first, but be sure not to bend, fracture, or break the support for I too want to ride real hard. He does look really cute when he is out of his uniform doesn't he.
ANNA smacking her lips and pouting: Yeah I can almost taste the mushroom flavored Jin pizza with devil sauce right now. MMMMMMMMMM.
NINA: Yeah me too. Lets take him out.
JIN: Noooooooooooooooo. Hwoarang, Steve, Paul help me. I don't want to get ridden. Help me from these two vampires.
HWOARANG: Damn that Kazama. He always gets the juiciest pieces. I am coming Kazama. Have no fear. Bad boy bob is here. I will take your place Kazama.
STEVE: Damn that Jin. Going to screw or get screwed or bolted tight with my mother and aunt. I wont let him do it while I am still alive. Hang on Jin Steve sucker is on the way.
PAUL: Mishimas. They always get to ride the babes. Have no fear Jin. I will save you or my name aint whatever my name it is.
JIN: Help me help me help me.
Jin who suddenly was struggling against the femme fatales suddenly got a stomach problem. He had to go to the toilet.
JIN: Nina, Anna. Please let me go to the toilet. I think I am not feeling well.
NINA AND ANNA: Wow, riding in the toilet. Not bad.
JIN: No not at all. Please don't. I beg you. If you don't leave me I will transform to Devil Jin.
NINA AND ANNA: I think that would be a little better.
Jin transforms into devil jin and still has the stomach trouble. Instead of using his laser, he farts with a soundless, silent, yet suffocating gas that just gets sprayed on the Williams sisters' face.
NINA: Yak. Help us. We have inhaled ammonia and carbon-dioxide.
ANNA: It's neither. It's a gaseous neutron bomb. To think we chose this one. Bwaaaaaaak.
Together both sisters dropped him and ran away. As devil Jin got up. He was surrounded by two other cases, Gon and Kuma.
GON: We are members of the fart team and was hoping you could join our society.
KUMA: Yes Jin, it would be great to have you.
DEVIL JIN: Forget it. This one is out. I am going for some important downloading work. See you back later.
MENDEL: It was all because of me. Well ladies and gentleman let us get on with our program. This program deals with the Mishimas who possess the devil gene. We all know that this devil gene was at first with Jinpachi who transferred it to Heihachi who acted as a passive carrier and then gave it to Kazuya and finally Jin whom you have seen going for some rather gold ware downloading. Yak.
ALL THE PEOPLE: Yeah we know that. So what is in it? Tell us.
MENDEL sweatdrops: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yes, but at the same Jinpachi being the first is prone to have more powers with that mouth on his abdomen.
Dr. Mendel looks at Jinpachi's abdomen mouth.
JINPACHI: Hey doc what are you looking at.
MENDEL: Your mouth seems to be uncleaned and rather smelly. You must brush your teeth eventhough you must be powerful.
JINPACHI: Yeah that's right. Infact it has been over say a 100 years since I have not brushed my teeth or taken a bath. Will do it doc.
MENDEL: Yes that is it. Now you go and do that.
Jinpachi leaves embarrassed.
MENDEL: Now we come to Heihachi.
HEIHACHI: What be it with you doc?
MENDEL: You are the carrier of the devil gene, is it not?
HEIHACHI: Yeah. So what's the big deal?
MENDEL: Why don't you use it?
HEIHACHI: Hey I hate the devil gene. I don't want it. It gives a bad rash on my butt. I had scratched and scratched it and now I have to cover it with my thong errrr……….. traditional undergarment.
KAZUYA: You mean a diaper. Don't you old man.
HEIHACHI: Spike head shut up. I know you tried to grab my traditional undergarment last night.
KAZUYA: Ha. Who wants your diaper old man? I only grabbed it to show the people what beautiful scratchy sites were there behind this diaper? It is only a curtain to the gateway of the Heihachi's world. Ha ha ha .
HEIHACHI: You little spiked wretch, how dare you insult me in front of these people?
KAZUYA: Hey I atleast have hair full on my head unlike yours. You are the one to be crying old man. Look at your head. It's just a playground with a few grasses on it. OK leave that away. Atleast look on the side. There are two eagle feathers. You must have stolen them from a bald eagle. Hey tell you what old man. Why don't you go stand on the top of the white house? You can represent the national bird of America with your head? Maybe by this you can also become president of United States Of America with that head of yours. You can even put this as your first step to world domination.
HEIHACHI: Hey that's a great idea. Lucky I thought of it.
KAZUYA: Like I said before smooth on the outside, nothing on the inside.
MENDEL: He is right Heihachi. Why don't you do so?
HEIHACHI: Hey yeah thanks doc. As a sign of gratitude I give you my prized possession, my thong.
Heihachi throws his thong to Kazuya who in turns throws it to Dr. Mendel. Dr. Mendel then throws it on the audiences only to have them screaming and then settling.
MENDEL: Oh my. Heihachi, did you wash it.
HEIHACHI: No. I liked the smell though. Bye.
MENDEL: Before you go I would like to give something.
HEIHACHI: OOOOOOOOOOO. Really. What is it. Give me, give me, give me.
Mendel throws Heihachi's thong on his head. Heihachi feels the smell and screams yelling ow its burning my head and finally dies.
KAZUYA: Well it looks like shiny man is gone. Thank doc. You are the first person to ever beat the great Heihachi Mishima.
MENDEL: Wow really. Thanks. Next we get on to Kazuya and Jin.
KAZUYA: I am ready.
JIN: Me too.
MENDEL: Jin when did you return? Finished your um downloading.
JIN: Yeah. When I started doing so. The stuff just was too hot for the toilet itself. It burned and broke the toilet. Then I went under a tree. Lucky for the tree Kuma and Gon came to eat it. They did so and they died. Serves them right for making me join in the fart team.
MENDEL: Well now since all are over. We get to the discussion. Jin, Kazuya how do you do with the devil genes.
KAZUYA: I get on it well. I have no problem. We are happy here.
JIN: I don't.
MENDEL: Why is that.
JIN: I will tell you. Its because my pop here is gay with the devil and I am not.
KAZUYA: Boy, watch it. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Kazuya cries and runs to Jun. Jin smirks.
KAZUYA: Honey, he is calling me a gay. I hate it.
JUN: Don't worry Kazuya I know you are not a gay
Jun pats him and suddenly smirks and kisses Kazuya straight on the lips. As Kazuya returns the favor, she suddenly falls down off the stage along with Kazuya near Nina and Anna.
KAZUYA: Owwwww my head.
NINA: Look Anna we got a even a bigger pony. This one is definitely a lot more stronger.
ANNA: Yeah Nina, he is a tough one. Lets take him and go hog wild.
JUN: You bitches. Leave him away. He is my little devil pony to ride.
NINA AND ANNA: In your dreams you white scarecrow. He is mine.
ANNA: No. I am taking him alone.
They all grab Kazuya's hands and a leg and start pulling. Suddenly to everyone's surprise, Michelle and unknown jump in and grab him. All pull him to themselves.
MICHELLE: Leave the buffalo alone. He is mine to ride.
UNKNOWN: Leave the wolf away. He is mine to ride at night and in the full moon.
JUN, NINA, AND ANNA: You bitches. He is not a wolf or a buffalo. He is a horse and he is mine to ride.
MICHELLE AND UNKNOWN: In your dreams bitches. I am taking him on with me.
Jun, Nina, Anna, Michelle, and Unknown fight calling him a horse, buffalo, and a wolf.
KAZUYA: I am no horse, wolf or a buffalo. I am a devil human being. Let me go.
Kazuya struggles to break himself free and runs away with all the five chasing him. From above he can see angel flying towards him. Kazuya suddenly runs faster than he has ever before.
JUN, NINA, ANNA, ANGEL, MICHELLE, AND UNKNOWN: Hey wait for us. We want to ride you.
KAZUYA: In your dreams, you are never going to get me.
Dr. Mendel on seeing this sighs and sees Jin. Jin suddenly sweats and goes to jump. Dr. Mendel stops him and makes him sit down pacifying him. Jin just sweats and sits.
MENDEL: So Jin you are the last one in this family to possess the devil gene and you say you don't like it, but an angel gene is also with you making your wings feathery and your skin color normal. How is that?
JIN: Errrr. I don't know.
MENDEL: I will tell you how. You were pure devil, but when you made love with the girls of tekken that is Julia Chang, Ling Xiaoyu, Christie Monteiro, Miharu Hirano, and finally with your own relative Asuka Kazama, all that pleasure gave you feathers and that skin and so you were able to maintain your own pretty boy self. Is that the correct fact?
JIN: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Eeeerrrrrrrrrr. Yes.
Julia Chang, Ling Xiaoyu, Christie Monteiro, Miharu Hirano, and Asuka Kazama who were sitting in the audience suddenly got stunned on this and glared at Jin. Jin was sweating. His friends Hwoarang, Steve, Eddy, Forest also stared at him. Jin felt a sudden fight coming in and transformed instantly into devil Jin. He easily beat his friends and when he was about to fly away a hand suddenly came and touched him removing all his power, he saw that the hand of Asuka was the cause. Jin now was really in a sorry state. He was sweating. All the girls stared at him licking their lips.
XIAOYU: If Jin has that capacity, then I guess he can give more than what he gave me before. Mmmmmmm I can taste it now.
JULIA: Yeah me too. I can almost feel his chest with mine now.
ASUKA: Yeah me too.
MIHARU, CHRISTIE AND ASUKA: Us three.
JIN: No please in the name of heaven don't. I implore you, I beg you.
THE GIRLS: Sorry Jin, but when a woman's mind is set on something, it is difficult to remove it.
Saying this all five jumped on him and pulled on him each stating that they wanted to ride him. Jin was screaming and beating out of their hold. He somehow got loose and took his heels with the girls following him. He ran and ran and ran.
MENDEL: Well my theory of heredity and genetics proves here apart from pea plants. When they say like father like son, it is true with all the Mishimas especially Jin and Kazuya. Hence I can put in my theory that genetics and heredity exist. I thank you the audience for your kind cooperation of this very fabulous program. I wish you good bye.
The audience on hearing this got angry.
AUDIENCE: Good. This was not a research program. It was more of a family destruction in a way of formality. You are no father of genetics. You are more like the lord of destruction. Here take this.
They start to throw stones, dung, rotten things, and soda bottles. Before anything could target Dr. Mendel he smiles and steps into the time machine operated by Dr. Bosconovich only to return home. Dr. Bosconovich in return gets the projectile presents of Dr. Mendel given by the audience.
BOSCONOVICH: This is the last time I am talking about time travel. Yeesh. With that he wipes himself and slowly walks away.
THE END.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: So how was the fic. I know a bit long and sort of weird, but hey anything for fun aint wrong. Please review as many as possible, but flames, fire, wind, water, or thunder allowed here. Thanks and bye.