A/N:Trying to update as often as I can as I don't want to leave this story hanging while I'm away preparing for the wedding. Thanks to all my fabulous reviewers who make it worth writing. All reviews and criticism is welcome (so long as its constructive, flames aren't going to help me write better stories or make anyone feel nice) Anyway, on we go. Time to meet Rasputin perhaps.
Own Nothing- still!
Rose felt the tears in her eyes but they wouldn't fall. She was spinning at a thousand miles an hour, nine hundred years of pain, despair, repressed anger and unbridled joy flowed through her mind. She saw the Doctor in every form, the stories she had been told when recovering from the Hatrevic augmented by the Doctor's own feelings and memories. She saw every companion and what they meant to him. His loves, his loses, his hopes squashed so young, his elation at racing through the stars in his stolen TARDIS. His eighth incarnation so full of hope, a wish to reconcile with his people, returning home only to find the threat of the Daleks. Called to the feet of his leaders and going willingly.
She heard the soft command, begging the Oncoming Storm to commit his final act for his planet, to be both their executioner and their saviour. Then darkness, such horrific darkness that it tore through her soul and she did not know if she cried in pain. The madness, the despair flowed around her like a deep oppressive ocean, pulling her further and further under but then a light. Like moonlight on the waves, beckoning her and she felt herself thrust towards it, seeing through the eyes she had once loved so dearly.
The she saw her own face and felt the swell of affection even in the early days. The connection, the desire, the warmth. The brush of tentative fingers, the strong grip of hands, the safety of a protective hug. Every emotion saved solely for her, the love, the joy when it was returned, the fear when she was injured, elation when she was well, the pride when her finger glittered with a wedding ring, the remorse at sending her home, the pain of a final kiss.
Rose choked on a sob as she saw her own face in the TARDIS, watching the regeneration, the miracle of the Time Lords played out before her. She felt the sickness hit her, the pain, the worry for the threat that was upon them, the helplessness, the reawakening. The love. The true strong powerful love that had not been touched by the change but augmented. The fear for her when a child was mentioned, the joy when the news hit home. The pain of the decision to abandon wife and child to save a woman who he did not love but was forced to for what she would do for the world, seeing the pain in the deep dark eyes that he couldn't mention for fear of tearing out his own heart. Then so many years in tentative happiness, trying to please each other but fearing that the other would leave, give up when it was tough. The joy when their home plotted against them and they were once again their younger selves. The threat. Romana, Madam President. Omega. Fear, loathing, terror, despair. Omega. Going home. Seperated by time.
Rose felt her mind hit out against the Doctor's plans for her, resisting his hold over her mind and finding the control over her body once again. She struck out, forcing him away from her, unable to see anymore, to feel anymore pain. She forced open her eyes to see the Doctor breathing as heavily as she was, sitting back on his heels as he gathered himself but his eyes never leaving hers. Rose couldn't find any words and she could not cry for fear of not doing his memories justice. She reached out a hand, intertwining their fingers in a gesture that meant more than anything in the world.
"You understand?" said the Doctor, "You know the truth?"
Rose nodded, "I'm sorry. Don't make me go. Let me help you and Ro…Ro…"
"Romana," said the Doctor, the name still filling him with pain before his mind reminded him that she lived, "I can't Rose. Both of us know now, why we've not talked because we both knew that it would be about death, what would happen to Susan. Why we never talked about any more children because the fear was so strong for her. You and her have to be safe. I made a vow to you, love, honour and protect. I have loved you, I have honoured you and now, with all I have I'm going to protect you. Go home."
Rose picked up her wedding ring off the floor and handed it to him, "Now give me yours."
The Doctor did as she asked, watching as she slipped it onto her index finger of her right hand. He smiled as hers was too small even for his little finger and just closed his hand around it.
"You can have it back when you come home for me," said Rose.
A knock at the door pulled them both back to reality and the Doctor got to his feet before walking to the door and pulling it open to peer outside. He stepped back and opened the door fully, revealing their guest to Rose. For a second she had expected to see the slim figure of Romana and prepared herself to greet her as warmly as a friend of the Doctor's deserved but she paled as she saw who stood there. She hurried to her feet as icy blue eyes struck fear into her very soul yet called to her so strongly. She backed into the dresser and placed a hand out to steady herself.
"Doctor," she said, her voice a hoarse croak after all her tears.
The Doctor held himself at his full height, a strength surrounding him that Rose knew he only showed when he was terrified.
"You have come to us early sir," he said to the gentleman in the doorway.
"Forgive me, your Grace. My Imperial Queen told me you wished to meet me. If I may introduce myself, my name is Grigory Efimovich Rasputin."
"I know who you are," said the Doctor, his hand not leaving the door, tensed to push it closed, "But I fear you do not know our names as you should. I am the Doctor and this is Rose Tyler, my plus one. Best tell your master hey?"
XXXX
Jackie watched Susan with great concern. The little child was usually so lively and quite used to her parents going away out of the blue, despite their domesticity when there was a galaxy that needed saving they would still go, but since the TARDIS had disappeared she had grown distant. She wouldn't talk, just muttered to herself in her father's language and played quietly with her dolls. Jackie noticed with regret that her favourite was missing, a blonde Barbie doll the Doctor had dressed in red and gold robes and she wandered if that was what brought on the melancholy but Jackie knew in her heart that it was deeper than that. Watching the child she prayed silently for the sound of ancient engines.
XXXX
They always ended up running. He'd open his mouth and they'd be running but for once it wasn't just the two of them. After the Doctor had introduced himself he had pushed Rasputin out of the room and rushed over to Rose, telling her to finish dressing as he clambered into his suit from the night before.
"No point stalking an enemy like Omega," he said helping her into a large fur coat, "His little monk will know exactly who I am and run straight back to his master and then he'll come to me."
"You'd better live through this," said Rose, caught up in the whirl wind of it all, "Don't do anything stupid."
The door burst open and again what Rose had expected to see didn't come. She saw the girl she now knew as Romana storm across the room and slap the Doctor across the cheek, and Rose pitied him beyond belief.
"Not your smartest move Doctor," she said, her voice holding a regal authority that didn't suit the brown maid's uniform she wore, "You have to get out of here, the palace isn't safe for you."
"Hadn't thought of that, thanks," said the Doctor, his sarcasm still strong even in front of the woman he'd named as his president, "You coming with?"
"Not much choice, Omega will search for you when he hears your name and will surely detect me," said Romana, pulling them to a painting on the wall and opening up a secret passage way, "You must be Rose."
"Yeah, I am," said Rose, the only reality she felt being the Doctor's hand in hers.
"I thought you were sending her home," said Romana as they raced down the passage in near darkness.
"Was just getting to that when you crashed the party," said the Doctor, "You still know how to make an entrance."
"Learnt from the best, you always could make a noisy entrance."
The gentle bickering had continued as they'd run, escaping the palace and racing through to streets back towards the TARDIS. For once the sight of their beloved time ship didn't fill her with joy but with foreboding, her home would be the key to her prison but she had seen the Doctor's mind and she knew she had to go home. She pulled herself to a stop before the blue box. Smiling ruefully as she saw Romana lay a hand on it as if she was greeting an old friend.
"She hasn't changed," she said, "Same old TARDIS."
"Redecorated inside though," said the Doctor, the reluctance evident in his voice. Rose knew neither of them wanted to make the first move for sending her home and she could see Romana step back to give them the time they needed despite the growing risk.
Rose took her TARDIS key from her pocket and unlocked the door, stepping inside the resting ship. The Doctor followed behind and closed the door, blocking out the world. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, scuffing his feet on the grating below.
"I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to," he said, more to himself than to Rose, "If Susan…"
"But she is," said Rose, "And you're not alone. Romana seems nice, you worked well together before."
The Doctor nodded mournfully, "Yeah we did, posh little upstart that she was. My best friend, before you that is."
"You can have more than one best friend," said Rose pulling him into a hug, "How do we say goodbye?"
"I don't know," he said into her hair, "But we have to so I suppose we just say it."
He pulled back and looked deep into her eyes and Rose saw not only brown but the memory of blue staring back at her.
"Goodbye Rose Tyler."
"Goodbye Theta Tyler."
"Tell Susie…"
"I will," said Rose releasing her grip on him, "So, what button do I press?"
The Doctor gestured to the console, "She just needs to reverse. Black button there, blue one next to it and then the brake lever."
"Simple really," said Rose, "Doctor…"
She was cut off as he pulled her into a desperate kiss, holding her as close as possible.
"Make our baby shine," he said as he pulled back, "Love her for both of us. Tell her that her Daddy is very proud."
"I will."
Rose watched as he backed away from her and pulled open the TARDIS door, his eyes not leaving hers until the door closed behind him. She raised her hand to the console, hesitating for a second before pressing down on the black button, hearing the familiar thump as the TARDIS came to life. She pressed the blue button, smiling as she felt the day old strawberry jam under her fingers, Susan had been playing with that part of the console. She pulled down on the brake lever and watched as the central column began to work. She imagined the scene outside as it mingled with another time of leaving him, both times had been to certain death and she knew that she would find her way back to him once again.
XXXX
The Doctor watched as his two beloveds disappeared before him, speeding them through time and space from his life. From the corner of his eye he noticed a flicker around Romana's form but as he turned to her she looked as she had always done, regal and proud save for the tears tumbling down her cheeks. The Doctor wiped the moisture from his own cheeks before he spoke.
"We have work to do," he said softly, not trusting his own voice.
"You loved her so dearly," said Romana, "I'm so sorry."
"She's safe," said the Doctor, "She's safe and Susan isn't alone. Now come on, work to do. You got me into this and you're going to get me out of this."
"We should head for open land, lure Omega as far away from civilisation as possible."
The Doctor shook his head, unable to take his eyes off the imprint of the TARDIS in the snow, "He'll expect that," he said, "He knows you and I won't risk human lives but I fear we may have to. We'll go to the palace. I'll find Rasputin, let him take me to Omega. You get the Romanov family out to safety. Their time may be near but I will give them until history dictates they die. Be mindful of Alexis, go slowly for his sake."
The Doctor pulled the sonic screwdriver from his pocket and clicked up several settings, "Setting 2456 B, stops internal bleeds. If he gets hurt use it. This country is on the brink of Revolution and I do not intend to let the reds get here before they should. Got it?"
"Still above authority aren't you Doctor? I am your president and yet you give me orders," said Romana, a gentle humour behind her words.
"I'm older than you."
"I passed my exams."
"Well, I…oh I can't think of anything! Come on. Work to do," said the Doctor taking her hand and feeling an odd buzz of electricity in his fingers.
"Been a long time," said Romana before pulling him back towards the palace.