Hi guys thanx for the reviews and about my grammer, yeah I know it sucks pretty bad so forgive me for this chapter because I'm pretty sure there's a lot of grammer mistakes but the next chap I'm putting in spell check and stuff so bere with this chap of screwy grammer beside that hope you like the chap and sorry it took so long to update—finals—they're torture.

CHAPTER 4

"Sasame" Mawata murmured, she was faced away from him so he couldn't see the expression on her face. It was one of hatred and love. Pain and sadness. Her heart thudded frantically, even after all this time...everytime she was near him...her hands trembled and she blinked back the tears from her eyes. Finally after a second, she hid all the emotions she felt from her eyes

She turned around, expressionless.

Sasame blinked, she looked so empty...so drained... what was she hiding...why couldn't he see? He wanted to reach out and comfort her, wrap her in his arms...but she was the last person he knew that she wanted at the moment...but he couldn't help it. He had to see her. He felt so guilty….

I caused this.

They sat in silence for a minute and finally Mawata, unable to stand it said

"What?"

"Sorry?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well...himeno said, Sasame said, about her birthday camping trip and she wanted me to go along and with everything she's done for me it seems only right.." Sasame shrugged.

"No, why are you really here?" Mawata said icily.

She hated it being so cold, but she couldn't handle this….she was falling to pieces…her memories kept on following her trapping her in the past….she needed to be away from him…

"Because himeno asked me---"

"STOP LIEING!" the words burst from her lips and more poured out that she couldn't control. Every bitter thought poured out.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY! YOU'RE FEELING SORRY FOR ME RIGHT! WELL I DON'T NEED YOU! I'M FINE! THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE HERE IS BECAUSE OF YOUR GUILTY CONSCIENCE NOT BECAUSE OF ME—YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL I DON'T NEED YOU--"

Mawata's voice broke off and cracked.

"I—I, she stuttered overwhelmed, I just—the stress—I mean—"

Her blue eyes widened and she turned flying out of the trailer into the bitter rush of cold air.

She had yelled at him, she had messed everything up….

Mawata closed her eyes leaning against the cool metal and gave out a sigh….the darkness…it was such a comfort…..

Suddenly she felt a tug on her shoulder and warm breathe on her cheek. She opened her eyes and saw---two brown ones staring back at her, inches away from her own.

"YAHH"

"WHOA"

Go backed up, stumbling a little. "Sorry, you were just—I dunno I thought something was wrong—I didn't mean to scare you"

"You didn't scare me" She said tartly, lying between her teeth—

"Was that scream just like a everyday thing then?" Mannen popped out of nowhere.

His white air was on end and he looked more energetic then ever, most likely this cold weather—Mawata thought dryly.

Her eyes darted around and she saw the rest of the leafe knights plus her family coming towards her and the trailer, struggling with bags and suitcases.

Mawata, amused slightly, saw Maune carrying two bags in each hand filled to the brim with a over bundle of clothes as though she was going for a year then only a week.

"Give us a hand Mawata—guys—" Himeno's red hair was the only thing visible behind four sweatshirts piled one on top of the other.

Sasame still hadn't' come out of the trailer and gladly, so to be preoccupied—not wanting to think about him she carefully grabbed two sweatshirts out of Himeno's hand and suitcase from the other.

"Ready to party?" Himeno grinned to the chaos ((Go and Mannen were once more fighting, Maune was in hysteria "I haven't packed enough clothes! " Himeno's father was a love bird cuddled next to his wife, and the two younger ones were shrieking in excitement with the idea of living in the woods.

Mawata grinned in return " I'm ready"

I think. This vacation is going to be an interesting one.