You didn't really think that that would be the
end did you? Of course, in true Mary Sue style, the story
normally ends after they have, er, copulated. However, this is
a parody and I intend to take it to the end.
Oh yeah, and this was
formerly posted under the title of "if Mary Sue Had a Pet Monkey"
which explains the lame in-joke at the bottom.
Ethel woke up in the arms of Jack. She felt safe, secure, but most of all, loved. Jack stirred and opened his eyes slowly.
Jack: Morning love.
Ethel: (shyly) Morning.
Jack: There now, there's no reason to be shy anymore. (grins)
Ethel: That's true.
(Awkward silence)
Jack: Sooo …
Ethel: Well then …
CynicalReader: Oh. My. Gawd. Unsurprisingly, the author has never been in this kind of situation before and has no idea on what the characters should say.
(Awkwarder silence)
Jack: Um …
Ethel: (cough)
Jack: We should get up.
Ethel: (cheerily) Okay!
The day wore on and the sun drew down towards the sea. Ethel and Wesley were to be found as usual on the bow of the ship, talking in what was now known as the Corner of Useless and Pointless Conversations.
Ethel: Wesley, I'm in pain.
Wesley: Oh come on! I didn't hit you that hard with the shovel when you beat me at skipping! Stop being such a baby!
Ethel: No not that! But from last night.
Wesley: Oh gross! What the hell do I care? Tell this to Jack, I'm sure it would place another stupid vulnerable part between you two.
Ethel walked off sulkily, wondering what had got Wesley's knickers in a knot. She found Jack - as he always seemed to be in these stories - steering the ship and looking off into the distance.
Ethel: Hi.
Jack: Hi.
(Awkwardest silence yet)
Ethel: So … um …
Jack: Yeah …
Ethel: I need to talk to you.
Just then, a loud yell sounded from the crow's nest.
NamelessSailor: Captain! Tol Melian draws near!
Jack: Thank god! Er, I mean, we'll, ahem, talk later Ethel.
With that he ran down towards the deck to check with something with one of his crew. Or he just wanted to get away from her, Ethel couldn't tell. But they were so close last night. Why would he just brush her off so easily as if she meant nothing to him? Perhaps you don't mean anything to him said a cruel voice in her head. Tears welled in her eyes and she let one fall down her cheek as the dark blotch far off on the horizon drew near.
Oooh! Why is Jack being such a jerk? Why is Wesley so testy? Did Norrington and Will make up from their argument? How is it possible that there is another voice inside Ethel's head, or rather, any voice? And where did all the Readers go? Find out all of this and more in the next exciting instalment of "If Mary Sue Had a Pet Monkey"!
Wesley: For the last bloody time! I'm not her freakin' pet!
As we draw towards the end, expect shorter chapters people! You have been warned!