Disclaimer: yada yada we don't own Avatar…you get the picture.
Liz: ok normally I get kind of freaked out around drunk people, not that I've see all that many, but this was sooo funny….
Marie; oh and the reason we wrote this so quick was because something happened and we felt like writing this the reason is at the bottom so please read it….trust me it's funny and VERY important
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"It's the boys turn to get food." Liz announced as she placed a pail of water down so that Katara count teach her some more water bending tricks, for some reason Liz still count freeze the water and it was starting to really bug her.
"Fine come on Aang." Sokka said to the young Avatar who happy bounded after the wantabe warrior (Sokka: wantabe?).
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"Hey Sokka look at this crate!" Aang called out to the teenaged boy, who was just a bit behind Aang trying to keep up with the ever moving Avatar.
"Careful it might be a…"
"Cool there's some thing in here" Aang said holding up a bottle. Slowly Sokka took it, sniffed it, then tasted it.
"Hey it's not all that bad" he said talking another swig
"Can I try some?" Aang asked
"Sure there's more in the box." Sokka said gulping more of the clear liquid down
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It wasn't until dark that Katara started to get worried "What's taking them so long?" she asked an uncaring Liz who was laying on her sleeping mat, or rather Sokka's sleeping mat, playing with some water.
"Oh Katara their big boy's they can take care of them selves" (Liz: yes I'm kind of mean but it's cuz I have 4 brothers so I guess I wasn't thinking of how different it is out here and back home.)
Suddenly the very boys they were talking about burst thru the trees stumbling, laughing, and singing some song Liz had never herd before.
"When night's are as bright as days…" when they saw the girls they stopped Sokka smiled stupidly.
"hey Tara" he said going over to his sister spiting all over her "Aang told me this really funny story wanna hear?"
"Uh" Katara said pushing his away "what's wring with your breath!" she asked holding her nose. Liz waked over to Aang who had fallen over and was trying to get up, quicly she took the bottle that had fallen on the ground.
"Hey!" He protested "That's mine!" Liz sniffed the bottle and took a slight taste.
"Ug this tasted like it has some kind of alcohol in it."
"Alcohol?"
"You know whisky, beer, wine, rum…"
"Ohhh" Katara said "but won't Sokka know not to drink it?"
"Well it's kind of mixed in with something else but since my mom cooks with it a lot I can tell… do you drink a lot in the north poll." Katara put her hands on her hips
"Of coarse we drink!"
"No I mean do you have a lot of run in the North Pole?"
"No hardly ever since most of the men are gone." Liz nodded dumping out the rest of the liquid.
"How long do you think they'll act like this?"
Liz was about to answer the waterbender when Sokka cut her off "Ohhhh Liz you havta try sum off dish" he said/mumbled as he put his arm around her shoulders and holding up the half empty (Liz: or half full) bottle.
"Umm not thank you." She said taking Sokka's arm off of her. The watertribe boy frowned.
"Oh I shee your upshhet cush I didn't get FooD…I'shl get it now!" he started to walk toward Aang who was spinning around in circles on a air ball. Liz started to giggle at the boys. After about 2 minutes Aang was so dizzy he fell over he gave a few feeble attempts to get up he just laid there singing some airbender song…or at least that's what Liz thought it was. Sokka started to laugh so hard that he dumped all of his rum, or what ever you call it. After this small burst of laughing Sokka tried to drink but sadly found it empty.
"Hey whereis it all gone?" now it was Liz's turn to fall over, but it was from laughter Katara wasn't to far behind. Sokka looked at them confused
"HEYYY whash so fummey?" this just made the girls laugh more. Slowly the boys waked over to the laughing girls.
"Get up" Sokka ordered poking Liz in the ribs with the tip of his boot.
"Look at the laughing girls, they is funny!" Aang said pointing at the to girls.
After the girls regained there breath they stood up.
"We better get them to bed." Liz said helping Sokka up (Liz: since I'm older and stronger NOT BECAUSE I LIKE HIM!)
"I Like flying pink lemurs" Aang announced
"Well I like angel wings" Sokka said looking at Liz's back "You have pretty wings" he told her trying to touch some imaginary wings. Liz looked at him as if he was crazy.
"ummm thanks, but it's time for you to go to bed." Once both boy's head's hit the pillows they were out like lights and snoring like hurricanes.
"I wonder how they got drunk?" Liz muttered as she laid down
"I have no idea we'll have to ask them in the morning."
"Well good night Tara"
"Hehe good night Liz"
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Liz: we have amazing news!
Marie: we got our first flame ever…yet I'm still not sure WHY Liz is so happy
Liz: we have be come one of the few (or many) who got a cut and paste flame from the evil Zuko's Flamethrower here's what it said.
Dear Sue/Stuthor, you have demonstrated by this...
-crappy
story
-same old fantasy that no one cares about
-waste of
bandwidth
-source of frustration for the REAL Avatar fans
everywhere
fanfic that you are...
-an illiterate
imbecile
-a crappy writer
-a disgusting pervert
-a
sex-deprived jerk
-a multiple offender
-a disgrace to all
fanfic writers
-a narcissist
-(hopefully) a troll
-stupid
-a
waste of oxygen
-a virgin for a reason (Liz: ok that's
just gross and your lucky my dad didn't read that because HELOW I'm
only 17 and Marie's only 16! Ummm of coarse we're sill
virgins! And what your not cuz if you aren't and you're
the same or younger then us that's just sick!)
-a
bad writer
-the village idiot (Liz: well I can't
fight with this one
Marie:
oh please Liz your not THAT bad!)
-a whiny git
-being
MSTed
-being mocked.
-ignorant of Avatarverse canon
(L&M: yah sure we are…just one thing what is that?)
and
your fanfic has caused this flame because of its...
-blatant
disregard of the English language (spelling, grammar,
syntax...)
-disregard of the Avatarverse which the story is
set
-disregard and lack of knowledge of canon
-use of jargon
that doesn't suit the fic's setting
-lack of formatting
-lack
of plot
-unamusing and/or disgusting "humour"
-clich�s
-nauseating
metaphors and comparisons
-ridiculous sex scenes (Liz:
ooookkkk please point that out for us…)
-insertion of
yourself into the Avatarverse
-distortion of canon characters's
personality (OOCness)
-character bashing
-masturbatory
fantasies about Zuko, Sokka, or Aang (they would be ashamed of you)
(Liz: I think Zuko more like hate's us and Sokka think's I'm
weird)
-disturbing events
-use of serious issues
(rape, torture, mental illness, death) as plot devices gratuitous
depiction of violence (Marie: wow it's a good thing our parents
don't read this)
-So-called
random shit that is supposed to be amusing but is in fact the
opposite
-So-called original characters which are actually
poorly-disguised self-inserts (ummm well yah I guess since THAY
ARE US!)
All of this is so unbearable that...
-I
wanted to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spork after I read your
story
-I was left with the deep urge to vomit (preferably on
you)
-my cries of horror and indignation were heard halfway across
town
-the canon characters would probably kill themselves (or you)
if they read this fic
-you should never be allowed near a keyboard
again
-all fans of the Avatar fandom are screaming and writhing in
pain
-DiMartino and Koneitzko will set their lawyers on you.
As penance, you must...
(L&M: Okkk and what, my dear person do YOU know?)
-take down
this story at once, or expect more flames
-watch The Teletubbies
and Super Milk Chan and Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo continuously for a
week
-apologise to your readers for your ignorance (Liz:
alright all my dear readers I'm sorry if I have cause you any pain
in any way if we have don't some of these horrible crimes please
tell me)
-smash
up your keyboard and insert the pieces into any chosen orifice of
your anatomy
-Watch every episode of Avatar until you know them
all by heart
-give up all your worldly possessions and become a
monk/nun
-have your hands cut off so you may never besmirch the
literary world with your garbage.
-throw away your vibrator and
stop masturbating to impure thoughts of Zuko (Marie: ewww
Zuko gross)
In closing, I'd like to say...
-The
spacebar is your friend, as is the Enter Key. Use both.
-Netspeak
is a unacceptable form of writing. Netspeak is Netspeak and should
not be used for anything else.
-Format your story properly. use
the Enter key when neccessary. Don't smush your words together. And
USE SPELL CHECK.
-don't post a fanfic before you've had it
beta-read by someone who knows better than you
-keep your
fantasies about Zuko or Sokka or Aang or any other AtLA character to
yourself
-Aang's siblings (if he has any) are dead. Aang doesnt
know his parents so he can't know your sue-sibling
-Good fic has
plot, tension and good writing. Your fic has none
-you
owe me a new computer screen because I vomited on it.
-don't ever
reproduce. The last thing we need is more Suethors.
-take your
crap somewhere else (wait, don't. No one deserves to be terrorized by
this)
-Stop wanking to the screencap of Zuko shirtless in the Agni
Kai.
-No one cares about your fantasy (Liz: ok no one
does… both marie and Liz waive to there over 60 REAL
reviewers)
-The genre of people getting sucked onto the
Avatarverse is old shit. It should be avoided at all costs.
-There
is only one Avatar. ONE. Only He/She may bend more than one element.
Repeat after me. There is only ONE avatar.
-There are only four
elements to bend. No more. No less. Fire, Earth, Air, and Water. NOT
Shadow, Light, Love, or some Sparklypoo shit.
-Zuko does not
belong with any form of original character. He belongs with Katara or
Toph or even Aang. Anyone that is a canon character!
-Zuko is NOT
a pussy who will slobber over any girl, nor is he a OMFG wangst kind
of guy. Katara is not a PMS bitch, nor is she a nonexistent being
that needs to be discarded when the Mary Sue makes her appearance.
Iroh is much more than some tea-swilling old man. And Aang is NOT a
ADHD kid who has had too much sugar. Don't assrape the characters for
your twisted purposes.
-Fantasies are just that-fantasies. If you
want to fantasize yourself in the Avatarverse-by all means, go ahead.
It IS fun. However, keep it to yourself, and your notebook and/or
sketchbook.
-If Zuko saw how you treated him in this story he
would set you on fire. Seriously. His character has been raped and
twisted so many times into OOCness that even Ozai and Azula would
feel bad for him.
-The only people who review your story are
your little sockpuppet Suethor friends. You are not taken seriously
by anyone else. Keep your fantasies to your little cliques. (Liz
& Marie: guys' is this true?)
-Learn from this list.
It is designed to help you. Yes, it is brutal but the truth hurts,
sweetie.
And last but certainly not least...may Azula use you for target practice
Marie: we find it funny how this person has the nerve to say we're uncreative yet he/she just cut and pasted this al over fanfiction's avatar fics
Liz: plus if you look at his/her profile you will see that he/she has NO favorites in story's or authors, which probably means that EVEYONE on this sight is a Mary sue writer. Also her/his story is called "The Greatest Avatar Story EVER" and it's got to be the WORST Mary sue flameing story we have ever read! (Yes we read it and reviewed a real review…unlike some people)
Marie: I'm sorry to tell you this Zuko's Flamethrower but you do not and never will own Avatar or fanfiction so all those nasty things you say at people are just immature and plain stupid.
Liz: I agree; if you want to flame our story at least give us hard cold facts of why YOU don't like it…trust me (a slightly better than you, expert on Mary sue's) Mary Sues/and bad plots are all the option of the reader and I think people like YOU need to leave WAY more then those cruddy Mary sue stories
Marie; and if you think that fanfiction is overrun bye Mary sue's then why In heavens name don't you just start your own website
Liz: I bet you anything that YOU DIDN'T even read our story you just guessed is was because it wasn't you're story and posted this. You just do these things to be a loser and to make yourself feel good
Marie: Now we're going to thank all the people that sent us REAL reviews
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JustPlainPeachy:
Liz: oh thank you and yes Sokka is a sock! We even named one of my puppy's chew toy's Sokka because it was a sock and we thought it was funny
Marie: and EWWWW NO! Iroh is like a father to me! YUCK! (yes I know your kidding) and I shall come back in the next chapter!
XEye-Of-The-WolfX:
Liz and Marie: thank you and all your little random people for reviewing we love all you little peoples!
Gir The Insane Flamin Ninja:
Liz: first must say LOVE THE NAME!
Marie: yes it is rather random…yet our lives are very random and plese preay for me Liz just bought that new drink "vault"
Liz: EEEE I can't wait to have it!
Marie: oh help me
Liz and Marie; thank you all for all your wonderful support we can not tell you how grateful we are to you!
The Element girls
((Here's a little preview on what's coming up…Zuko attacks and some BAD Things happen!))