Tumbling Down

Chapter Seven

Falling Over Backwards

Lucy crept back to Cair Paravel in a stupor, moving dully yet swiftly. She pulled herself up the balcony of her room and miserably crawled into bed, pulling her heavy silk comforters over her head.

All she could think was Mr. Tumnus is in love with someone else.

The tears came slowly, taking their time. Seeing him like that—Lucy didn't have a word for what it was she had witnessed, but it was upsetting and unfamiliar and it didn't feel right. It tore her in pieces. She muffled her sobs with her pillows, long blond hair tangling around her head.

"Nothing will ever be all right," she wailed to her bedroom.

She heard footsteps before her door and she silenced, listening hard, heart beating. A knock came.

"Lucy?"

"Go away!" Lucy cried forcefully, voice hard.

"Lu, can I come in?" And she sighed; Edmund's voice was quiet on the other side of the door.

"I don't care," she muttered, turning over, covers still over her head. The door opened and closed and Lucy heard the lock slide into place. He sat down beside her on the bed.

"Are you all right?"

"No," Lucy said bitterly. "I'll never be all right again."

Edmund sighed and patted her hip. Lucy sniffed.

"Peter's being such an arse." Edmund's voice was hard, and it was clear he was put out. "I'm so angry with him. But, Lu, you agreed to this plan. It's terrible and it's no kind of solution—and I'm not sure why you agreed in the first place, I certainly wouldn't have—but it's what you signed up for. I can't imagine you're completely surprised."

"I didn't think I'd have to give up my dearest friend," Lucy mumbled into her covers. "But today I don't mind as much."

"That's a sudden change of heart," Edmund said suspiciously, watching the satin bulk that was his little sister. "Why are you so forgiving of Peter, the Magnificent Arse, this morning?"

"Ed," Lucy asked quietly, "have you heard of the other party in the fall?"

"You mean another party besides Susan's?" Edmund asked, unsure how he should answer her.

"Yes."

"I have." He wouldn't lie to her, he knew that much, and he resigned himself to tell her everything she needed to know.

"What is it?"

"A celebration of life," Edmund said dully.

"And do…do people…"

"Couples often form. It's…well, a celebration of love, really."

"In the fall?"

"That's when we need to be reminded of love most, perhaps," Edmund mused, wondering what exactly had happened. "Everything is dying, but hope must remain. I suppose that's what it's all about." He fell silent. "Why do you ask?"

"I went out last night," Lucy said suddenly, unafraid of the consequences.

"And you saw an equinoctial festival," Edmund finished her thought. Lucy nodded, and Edmund tugged the covers down from over her face. She looked out at him, red-eyed and pale, and he felt a pang of sorrow for the life Lucy must lead. "You should never have to be so sad," he mumbled, pushing back her hair from her delicate face. "What does the celebration have to do with you and Noor and Tumnus?"

"There is a side to Mr. Tumnus I did not know," Lucy said, flustered, and Edmund suddenly understood.

"Well, everyone has secrets, Lu," he said gently.

"Not like that," she said stubbornly. "Not at all like that."

"You must remember that Mr. Tumnus is not human," Edmund told her, and Lucy felt as though he had slapped her across the face. "And his customs are different from ours."

"I do not feel so badly about not seeing him," Lucy said, and Edmund sighed. The conversation was over, but he asked one final question.

"Why didn't you tell Peter and Aslan that you are in love with someone else?"

And Lucy stared at him for a moment before laughing, tossing her head back. Edmund smiled at her, but there was a bitter note in the sound and he knew something still bothered her. She subsided and studied him with ocean eyes.

"So that's what it is," she wondered aloud. Edmund leaned forward and hugged her, and she sagged in relief against him. "I didn't even know."

"It's hard to know, sometimes," Edmund replied, smoothing down her hair.

"I'm still angry at Peter," Lucy mumbled against Edmund's chest.

"So am I." He began untangling a large snarl in his sister's hair. "I think you should talk to Mr. Tumnus."

"He saw me," she said in a serene voice, and Edmund felt his heart lurch. Oh, God, his little sister. He'd kill that dirty old faun.

"I can't believe he took you somewhere so—inappropriate," Edmund struggled for the word.

"He didn't. I just saw a bonfire. I didn't even realize he was there. I saw a few of our servants."

"I'm not surprised." Lucy sat back and Edmund crossed his legs, facing her. "What exactly did you see?"

Lucy's red face was enough of an answer.

"Do you want to talk to him?" Edmund's voice was doubtful. "If he saw you, maybe he wants to explain."

"I don't know if I can see him," Lucy said quietly. "Not as though I could, even if I did want to. Peter, remember?"

"I'll take you to see him," Edmund promised her, clasping her hands in his. "Okay? Now, or whenever—tell me, and I'll escort you—and then I'll make myself scarce. This is such a stupid demand, and I'm not going to make you suffer even if Peter declares me a traitor. All right?"

"Oh, no, Edmund," Lucy protested. "You can't get into trouble for me."

"He can't do much," Edmund said grimly. "Since I'm a King as much as he. I'll bring you, and then I'll get lost."

"What if Peter checks up on me?"

"Peter doesn't know everything," Edmund said with a grin, "even if he is High King." Lucy smiled weakly. "Now, d'you want to see him or not?"

Lucy opened her mouth to reply but a frantic hammering at the door drowned out her voice. The two turned in surprise to look at the door, vibrating in its hinges.

"Lucy!" a nearly-hysterical voice cried from outside the door, and Lucy visibly paled. "Lucy, I know you're in there, your sister said you hadn't come to breakfast! Lucy, open the door, I've—I've got to talk to you!"

"Told you he'd want to explain," Edmund whispered. "Shall you duck into the bath while I explain Peter's royal decree to him?"

"Don't be too cruel, Ed, please," Lucy mumbled in reply, as she darted to her bathroom and closed the door with a silent click.

"Lucy!" The doorknob rattled. Edmund calmly stepped over to it and unlocked the door. He opened it wide and a tired-looking faun nearly fell into the room.

"Good morning, Mr. Tumnus," Edmund said pleasantly. "Can I help you?"

"Where's Lucy?" The faun seemed out of breath and Edmund noticed smears of paint on his face and chest. His hooves were dazzling with streaks of what looked like blood.

"I haven't the slightest idea," Edmund replied. "I was just looking for her myself."

"You haven't seen her?" Tumnus looked stricken. "Oh, this is all my fault!"

"How so?" Edmund replied, gesturing to a rich silk chair. "Sit, please." He closed the door behind Tumnus. Tumnus sunk into the chair, looking devastated.

"I did—I upset her," he stuttered, unsure of what to say. "I think I did, at least. I need to explain myself."

"Anything I can help with?" Edmund asked, and had to fight back a grin when Tumnus frantically shook his head 'no'. "All right, don't get your skirt in a bunch." Tumnus looked confused but he closed his eyes and sighed.

"I need to talk to her," he repeated, looking at Edmund with those dark eyes. Edmund shifted uncomfortably—it felt as though Tumnus could look right through him.

"I haven't seen her," Edmund said, sitting down across from the faun, "and there is something I need to tell you."

Tumnus looked at him curiously.

"Prince Noor—Lucy's fiancé—is under the impression you and she are too close," Edmund explained, noting Tumnus' stricken face when he heard 'fiancé'. "He has asked Peter that you and Lucy not be alone together."

Tumnus gaped, helplessly, before sputtering "But I—we—it's nothing like that! Surely Peter knows—"

Edmund held up his hand. "Peter knows. But the whole point of this marriage is to align with Archenland, not antagonize the Prince. So we have to go along with it. No more teas, no more walks, no more anything on your own. Lucy may, of course, visit you while accompanied by an escort—myself, or Prince Noor, or Susan—but she may not see you one-on-one anymore." Edmund was quiet, watching it sink in. "It's not a very good plan on Peter's part; but that is what it is."

"I see." Tumnus drew a deep breath. "I cannot say I understand, but if King Peter says that is what must be, then that is that." He stood up shakily. "I suppose I shall never see her now," he said mournfully, mostly to himself. "Thank you, King Edmund."

"Not a problem," Edmund waved it off. "I'll tell her you came by looking for her."

"Don't," Tumnus cried desperately. "That will just make things worse."

"All right." Tumnus let himself out; the door clicked closed behind him.

Edmund strode over to the bathroom door and opened it gently. Lucy was huddled on the floor, her cheek pressed against the wood. Her face was grave but she did not cry.

"This is all so impossible," she said in a small voice as Edmund helped her up. "I hate it, Ed. I hate this."

"I know. You're sure you don't want to see him?"

"Not now." Lucy shook her head. "I will when I am ready."

"All right." Edmund leaned forward, kissed her upon the crown of her blonde head. "Please try to cheer up. And maybe think about being honest—with yourself and with others. I've found it is the only way to be happy."

"Don't tell anyone, Edmund," and Edmund smiled at her.

"I won't tell a soul," he promised her, solemn. "Your secret is safe with me."

Lucy joined her brothers and sister at dinner, but she did not speak to Peter directly. Edmund greatly enjoyed the pain on his brother's face; Susan looked tormented and tried her hardest to indulge Lucy—she asked her specific questions, offered to take her places. Doting was heavy between the Pevensie girls. Lucy accepted all of Susan's offers coldly but politely. Edmund and Lucy talked softly together while Peter looked more and more hurt. Lucy excused herself early.

"I feel like a horrible brother," Peter said quietly when his youngest sibling was out of earshot.

"Well, you are," Edmund said simply.

"Edmund!" Susan snapped at him. "That is a dreadful thing to say. Peter is only trying to do what's best for Narnia."

"Has anyone thought about what is best for Lucy?" Edmund growled at his sister. "Perhaps she doesn't want to marry that pompous idiot. Perhaps there is someone she would like better—or perhaps she doesn't wish to get married at all," he added hastily. "She should have the right to choose."

"Narnia comes before any one of our happiness," Peter said stoutly. "That is the way the country will be run."

"You're ruining your family life," Edmund told him. A footstep on the landing alerted them that they were no longer alone, and they all fell quiet.

"This is a grim dinner party," Noor laughed, sitting down in Lucy's abandoned chair. "Good evening to you all." They greeted him in turn. "Where is Lucy?"

"She was not feeling well," Susan said quickly. "She ate only a small dinner and retired to bed."

"You did tell her of my request?" Noor asked Peter.

"Yes," Peter said, closing his eyes as though it hurt him to say.

"It is far too early and too lovely a night to think about sleeping," Noor said, oblivious to Peter's discomfort and Edmund's glares. "I did hope Lucy would accompany me on a walk, but I am sorry to have missed her."

"I would be happy to show you our beaches," Susan spoke up suddenly. Noor smiled at her, his deep blue eyes warm on her face. A rosy blush crept up Susan's neck.

"I would be glad for such radiant company." The two stood up, and wished the brothers a good night.

Edmund stood as well.

"I'll be leaving," he said shortly.

"Could you think on me a little more fondly?" Peter's voice was thin. "I am doing what must be done."

"No, you are doing what you think, in your narrow-minded way, will be good foreign policy. Perhaps focus on the girl who gave you Narnia, instead of trying to give her away so easily."

"I was not aware that Lucy has some secret desire," Peter said shortly.

"I am not saying she does," Edmund said shortly, "but you never bothered to find out. Cannot Susan marry this idiot?"

"Susan is spoken for," Peter said heavily.

"And do we need that alliance as well?"

"We need all the friends we can get," Peter replied, and Edmund left him alone with his thoughts.

Night had long fallen but Lucy lay wide awake. She sent Cera out early and made sure she had heard each of her siblings retire; Susan came in the latest, but after the door of her room slid shut, Lucy flew out of bed and hurriedly dressed herself as quickly as possible. She chose the dress she knew flattered her most—a dark midnight blue, which left her skin a milky white and her hair like corn-silk. Her blue eyes were dark as she studied herself in the mirror. She twisted up her long blonde waves and suddenly paused. She remembered something Mr. Tumnus had asked her, a long time ago, and with an uncertain smile she let her hair down.

"Okay," she breathed in the empty room; she turned to her balcony and slipped out into the night.