Chapter 13: Changes and Regrets
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the door open. I would have used a few spells on it, but I didn't have my wand. I could always fall out of the window again, but that's a little too risky seeing as I'm not a cat nor do I defy gravity in any way. So I went and sat down at Professor McGonnagal's desk and started rummaging around for anything. I found papers, potion bottles, everything but a key. I know she was trying to protect me, but I HAD to get out of here. Just when I had lost all hope a saw a little shiny object in the back corner of a drawer I had pulled out. It was a box. A wooden box with a tiny gold emblem on the side labeled "TT" is fancy writing. I recognized what it was right away. And it may have been just what I needed.
A time turner. I had borrowed one in my third year, but to unfortunate circumstance, I had to give it back. I'm sure she would have turned back in by now. This couldn't have been the same one, she's not that forgetful. It had to be an extra incase something went wrong. And believe me, something went wrong. A part of me still today thinks that she locked me in that room on purpose so I would find it. She later told me I was the only student of my generation that she had ever trusted with a Time Turner.
There was no time to waste. I had to change everything back before it was too late. I was scared to go back so far in time because I could be changing so many events just by stopping me from kissing Draco. But it was a chance I was willing to take. I set it to September 1st, the time I was called to the Heads' Meeting, and put it around my neck. Here we go---
poof I was in one of the train compartments. I had to find myself and tell her! I peeked outside and saw that the hall's were clear. Then I saw me coming out of the Head's compartment and Professor McGonnagal followed. She went one way and I went the other, probably to go tell the others that I had to stay with Draco. I waited until she was on her way back and just when she was passing by I quickly grabbed her and pulled her--I mean ME--into the compartment.
"Who are you!" she exclaimed.
"Shhh! Shhhhh!" I hushed her. "No time to explain. I'm you from the future."
"Somehow I find that hard to believe." She said, eying the door. I was standing in front of it and it was locked so there was no way she was getting out.
"Look! I don't care if you believe me or not, but it's the truth! What is about to happen in that compartment will change your life forever and terrible things will happen!" I explained.
"What's supposed to happen?" I asked myself.
"You will...kiss. And stuff." I said quietly.
At first it was silence and then she busted out laughing.
"Are you kidding me? Me and...MALFOY? You must be out of your mind."
If only you knew...which you will in a few months...
"I'm serious. No matter what happens, you will not kiss him. Don't even talk to him. Please, I'm begging you!"
"ok ok ok. Just quit wining. I never knew I looked that bad when I did that. I'll agree to what you tell me if you tell me the whole story."
I couldn't. It was so against everything. it would be breaking so many rules. There's no way she could know...but if she didn't...history would be doomed to repeat itself. She had to know something...so I told her a little. I told her about mine and Draco's affair and how it would hurt everyone around them. I told her that Ron is still in love with her and that Harry was going to use her as a rebound from Ginny. That's it though. I dared not mention about Ron going crazy and Draco dieing. That would be too much for me to handle.
"That is too extreme. There's no way that would ever happen."
"I didn't believe it either. But when he tries to kiss you in there, DON'T!" I ordered.
Just then there was a banging on the door.
"Granger are you in there!" we heard a voice say. It was Malfoy.
"Oh no! I have to go! Just remember what I said!"
I quickly put the time turner back on and sent myself back to the exact minute I left.
I got back just in time to see myself disappear.
"There I go..." I muttered. Suddenly my head started to pound. It hurt so bad I fell on my knees and grabbed my head in agony. Thoughts and memories were rushing through my brain. I was happy. I was happy with Ron and Harry by my side. We were just like we used to be. And me and Malfoy fought as much as ever. Everything was back to normal.
When the throbbing stopped I went over to the door again, and sure enough, it was unlocked. I quickly headed for the Heads' Dorms. I reached around my robes to find my wand. Sure enough, it was there. Something must have went right! I reached the door and said the password. When it opened I found Draco sitting by the fire reading a book. It took all I had to stop myself from running over there and hugging him.
"Where have you been?" he asked.
"None of your business, toad." I snapped back.
"Fine then, but one of these days your going to get caught when you sneak out, and I'm not going to defend you anymore."
"Like you ever defended me!" Oh no, were we secretly on friendly terms?
"You're right. I would never defended you. But it sounded good."
Nope.
"I'm going to bed." I told him as I headed for my room. I noticed that there was no silver lining...
"I'll be there in a minute." he said nonchalantly.
"What!"
"I was only joking. Calm down..." he said as he rolled his eyes.
"You are so annoying."
"And you're so pretty when your mad."
And with that, I turned to leave the room. I guess we will always have a strange relationship...
The last couple of months went by and everything was hunky-dory. I went on with my life knowing that it could have ended a whole other way. The last day of school came and while we were packing, Draco came into my room.
"So I guess this is good riddance." he said as she leaned against the door post.
"Don't worry, Malfoy, you'll see me again. Somewhere, somehow..." I said.
"Hopefully not."
So much for being sympathetic.
"Do you think things between us could have been different?" he asked out of the blue. Did he suspect something?
"What makes you say that?" I asked as I continued to load up my things.
"I've just been having the strangest dreams lately about us. And how I risked my life to save you..." he sounded sincere for a moment, "..as if." he finished with a curl of his lip. Guess not.
"It is possible. But I'm sure it wouldn't have been a very healthy relationship." I told him. It was true after all.
We both got really quiet and I quit packing and sat on my bed. He came and sat beside me.
"So this is it. No more fighting, no more arguing. Me and you--on our own separate paths." he said. I couldn't believe that he was talking to me like I was his best friend or something. "Even though we acted like we hated each other all year, I know that deep inside we don't. It's just an act, isn't it?" he looked at me hopefully.
"Why Draco, I never knew you cared." I said with a grin.
We both started laughing. Then we looked at each other. Oh how I had been longing to look into his beautiful grey eyes once again. Then it happened. He leaned forward and kissed me. Soft and gentle, no strings attached. Without even laying a hand on me, he pulled back.
"What was that for?" I asked, almost out of breath.
"For being a good person and always putting me in my place. If the circumstance were different, maybe it would be more."
I didn't know what to tell him. He could never know about how his future was supposed to turn out. So we sat in silence for a few moments and then he got up and walked to the window. The sun beamed on his pale face and almost gave it a bit of color.
"Everyone's loading up." He said. "We should get going."
And with that, he walked out of the room.
It's now been two years since I've seen him and I still think about him everyday. It's my little secret that I've never told anyone. The reason I'm telling you is because I feel like it's time this story has been told. I think it's the reason why I'm so scared to get close to anyone anymore. I don't want anyone to get hurt. I still love him. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Love. The uncontrollable need to be with someone and take care of them and share everything with them. I tried getting back with Ron, just to keep him from going insane, but it didn't work out and he's now with Lavender once again. I hope they're happy.
Harry got back with Ginny. They got married after she got out of Hogwarts and she is pregnant with their first child. They were always meant to be and I can't believe I thought otherwise.
I wonder how he's doing...I know he hasn't got married because it would be all in the papers. Maybe that's a good thing...Should I find him? Do you think there's a chance between us? No...it was never meant to be. Just because opposites attract doesn't mean that they are meant to be together. I just wish we were meant to be together.
Author's Note: There you have it. How did you like it? It's not the original ending, but I kinda liked this one because it probably more "realistic" if that is possible in the story. I have the alternate one ready, I'm just going to put this one out first and get your opinions on it. I can't wait to start a new story. Any ideas on that one? lol. And once again, thanks for being so patient with me. edit: I just realized that this chapter is contradicting to the Harrypotterverse. The whole time turner thing is messed up. gah.