Disclaimer: Same old, same old--I don't own anything recognizable
Chapter 4: A Meal and a Wannebe
After a half-hour of walking down busy streets filled with traffic of all kinds, Pippin opened the door of a large building. The walls were painted a pale cream and there were three stories. Each level, except for the first, had five average-sized windows with sky blue flowers spilling from the sills on each wall. The first level had two windows on either side of the door and instead of flowers, the sills held a few books.
The first level was where Jac and the hobbits went into. As she took a seat with the hobbits at one of the small, square tables, Jac scanned the brightly-lit room. There were elves, of course, but there were also a few humans and hobbits. She even saw someone who looked a lot like a younger Gandalf with auburn hair. Her assessment of the inn was interrupted when Merry waved the elven server over to order. Jac ignored the hobbit as he flirted with the pretty maid, and looked at the menu the woman had dropped in front of her. A few words and an illustration caught her eye. This looks good. But she decided to ask Pippin what it was, just in case.
"Oh, that's an Adavara fruit pudding. It's good, if like those sort of tangy-sweet stuff. You should try their cider, though. It's even better than the Shire's beer. I'm going to order . . ."
Jac's eyes widened incredulously as Pippin rattled off a list of about ten different foods. "Pippin! Didn't you just finish breakfast an hour ago!"
"Sure I did." He said matter-of-factly, "This is second-breakfast."
Merry broke off from his flirtation long enough to add, "Then there's third-breakfast and brunch. Then there's afternoon tea and lunch, then second and third lunch and then dinner. Then there's supper, then a bedtime-snack, and a midnight snack."
Jac couldn't help laughing; "You hobbits do appreciate your food, don't you?"
- -
Jac was busily spooning up the deliciously tangy dessert she'd order when the wizard came up to them. By then the hobbits had already finished and were talking animatedly about what pranks they should pull on whom. A loud throat clearing surprised them, and they looked up.
The red-haired man smiled as charmingly as he could, sliding into the chair next to Jac at the same time. "Hello. I'm Roland." He paused, obviously waiting for an exclamation. All he got were blank looks. "I'm Roland the Bold. I slew the evil overlord, Vincent Tamale?"
Merry had had enough of the wizard-wannabe's arrogant attitude, "Look, if you want someone to oooh and aaah at you and beg you for your autograph, get out of Mirkwood. The elves appreciate modesty, not empty boasts. I know for a fact, that this Vincent Tamale was a human trader of pottery. He'd be the last person on Middle-Earth to do evil. So stop pestering us and leave!"
Pippin nodded, "Yeah, and keep your hands of Jac."
Jac started, she hadn't realized the man had been putting his arm around her. She drew away and slapped his hand hard enough to warn him not to do it again. Roland threw her an injured look, but withdrew his hands. He glanced around before saying, "Are you from the palace? I have business there. Care to accompany me?" He threw what he thought was a confident smile at Jac. Jac growled quietly and had to restrain herself from punching him. The elves didn't appreciate violence without reason and she wasn't sure if being leered at was considered a good reason. Evidently, the hobbits saw this and decided to let Gandalf deal with Roland.
"All right, you can some with us. Are you done Jac?" Jacqueline shot a suspicious look at the hobbits. Why were they letting Roland into the palace?
- -
Legolas was walking the halls of Mirkwood's palace and he was looking for something to do, when he spotted Aragorn strolling in the gardens with Arwen. Did Aragorn tell Arwen about Jac? With that thought in mind, as well as his restlessness, he headed toward the lovers.
Arwen and Aragorn saw him coming and stopped. As he greeted them, Legolas considered what to say. "Aragorn, Arwen. Did any of you see Jac?"
Aragorn gave him a puzzled look, "No, I don't think so. Why?"
Legolas ignored him and turned to Arwen, "Arwen, can you do me a favor?"
Surprised, Arwen just nodded.
"Well," Legolas continued. "You remember that it's Galendriel's birthday the week after next? Jac doesn't have anything proper to wear, so I was wondering if you could lend her something."
Aragorn smiled and said, "Wasn't there another one? The blonde Evelyn?"
Legolas grimaced, "Yes, her too."
Arwen smiled, "Why, Legolas! It seems you do care about the opposite gender!"
"Don't get any ideas! If they appeared at a banquet in breeches, my reputation would be ruined!" he snapped.
Aragorn's glare and Arwen's cool stare reminded him who he was talking to. "I'm sorry, Arwen, but that girl just won't leave me alone!" With that, he walked away.
Arwen wondered aloud, "Which one?"
Aragorn only smiled at Legolas's retreating back.
- -
Jacqueline and the hobbits pasted fake smiles on their faces as Roland rambled on and on about his chivalry. How can anyone be so shallow? Jac silently thought as she tried to stifle a yawn. She stiffened, though, when she saw Merry and Pippin smile slyly at each other.
"Oh, Roland." Merry said a little too sweetly.
Surprised, Roland looked down at him, "Yes?"
Now it was Pippin who spoke up, "Would you like us to show you how to take a short cut to the palace?"
Eagerly, Roland nodded. Merry, however, shook his head, "Sorry Roland, but we have to go somewhere else first, so we can't come with you. Is it all right if we just gave you the directions?"
Roland looked regretfully at Jacqueline before nodding. Jac listened as the hobbits gave the wannabe wizard intricate directions back to the eatery they had been before. The directions were long and complicated. The wizard bobbed his head up and down, clearly impatient to get on his way. Finally, the hobbits finished and Roland left in a cloud of dust. After waiting a few more seconds to be sure that he wouldn't come back, Jacqueline and the hobbits split their sides laughing.
- -
When the trio arrived back home, the hobbits were still wiping away tears of mirth. Jacqueline tried to calm them down; tired of having to catch one or the other when they fell down. Finally, she dragged them to the nearest garden and dumped them into a conveniently close body of water.
The hobbits came up spitting out water. Pippin tossed a fish out of his hair, and in unison, the friends glared at Jacqueline under their masses of dripping hair. Now it was her turn to start laughing, as between giggles, she gasped out, "You . . . two . . . look like . . . drowned . . . rats!"
The glares intensified.
Jacqueline abruptly stopped laughing when the glares were replaced by identical, evil grins. "Oh, no you don't! Merry! Pippin! You'd better not do what I think you're going to do!" Too late. Twin cannonballs rammed into her, pushing her into the water.
- -
received a lot of hate-mary-sue reviews--please excuse the slightly lame plot as I wrote this when I was in eigth grade, when LotR fandom was a bit smaller. I don't read a lot of LotR fanfic either.