(A/N: So uh, hmm… yea, anyone know what the hell is happening?)

"Flipper!"

"Flipper!"

"Flipper!"

"STOP!" Hajile cried, trying to avert his eyes from the scene Draco repeated, over and over again. Draco sneered, looking over at him as he continued flicking his wand at the screen.

"Oh, but LOOK! You're so HAPPY that 'Flipper' is alive and well! All sleepy eyed, waking on the docks and STILL looking like a Hollywood pretty-boy!" Draco laughed out.

"PLEASE, just… stop, just STOP!" Hajile wailed, putting his head back. He'd tried- OH; he'd TRIED, but after the fiftieth repeat performance of him getting a wedgie by Paul Hoagie, he was losing his will to stay calm. He turned to glare at Malfoy, lip snarling up. "Why do you DO this to me? WHY!"

"Be-CAUSE, you lil' twit," Draco said, sneering down at him. He moved his sneer closer, bending by Hajile's ear. "Do you even know… the torture I'd endured watching this and 'North'… which reminds me, Goyle, we haven't put that on yet,"

Flipper disappeared from the screen, but a NEW terror ripped through him. He struggled with all his might, wrists and ankles burning from the coarse rope they'd used to bind him. "I've done GOOD movies! Movies you'd NEVER star in, you insolent brat!"

"Oh yes, 'Mr. Frodo Baggins'," Draco said in a high-pitched voice, causing guffaws from everyone there. Draco began prancing around the room, putting his sneer away to mock a great big goofy smile. "'Oh SAM, oh SAAAAM, my lovely gardener! Shag me all the way to Mulder!'"

"It's MORDOR, you idiot!" Hajile seethed out.

"'SAM, save me from the big meanie spider, I'm an ineffectual little hobbit who needs a spanking for treating my hobbit-lover so SHAMEFULLY! OHH!'"

As everyone laughed, Hajile growled, trying to pull free. Draco stopped his showing off and stood with his wand extended. "But we're not GOING to watch your silly epic performance. No, I think we should take ourselves back to the year 1994…"

Hajile froze, clenching his eyes shut; before Draco had the chance to yell the Unforgivable Movie Spell, the portrait door opened, hitting the wall next to it. Everyone turned, finding a very tired looking woman standing there, along with the Golden Trio. Draco sneered. "An' who's THIS? Saint Potty and his band of fools!"

"I'd stay silent, Malfoy," Eiram warned, but the effect was downed slightly by a heavy yawn. Regaining composure, she raised her wand to him. "Now free the hobbit."

Hajile groaned. "I'm NOT… good GOD, am I so typecast, I'm a halfling in real life?" he cried. Eiram blinked in confusion.

"You're a hobbit. Deal," she said. Draco sneered and growled and spat, walking over to where Hajile was to untie him.

"Who are you to tell me what to do, anyways?" Draco said as Hajile rushed away from the group, hiding behind Eiram. Eiram held back another jaw-crushing yawn to make her announcement.

"I am Professor Dumbledrone, head of Sletry House." She said. She frowned… that wasn't right, but then again, someone else was voicing her at the moment. Oh well.

It had the same effect. Everyone quieted and exchanged confused, awed glances- all except Malfoy. "Doesn't matter to ME who you are. You're probably just some filthy MUDBLOOD like Granger!"

"That's ENOUGH!" Harry suddenly cried. Hajile couldn't place it, but he was angry as well. Both went to charge when Eiram put her arms out, holding them back.

"You're lucky she's here to stop me!" Hajile yelled, trying to get past Eiram's clenched fingers upon his t-shirt. "Just WAIT until I get you in Hogsmade, and I call all my friends to come kick your arse!"

"Oh, but one of your friends IS here, dear Hajile," Draco said, sneering. Everyone stilled as someone who'd been hidden in the shadows stood up.

"Hello, Hajile. We meet again."

Hajile's jaw dropped, his huge, gorgeous twinkling blue eyes widening more than normal. While a few looked away, feeling as if his gorgeous orbs of sapphire-beauty blinded them, Hajile shook his head. "But… you're…"

"A Slytherpop, Hajile. Just as I always knew I'd be,"

Eiram peered intently at the new young man presenting himself. "You're familiar." She said, voice slow, her eyes suddenly crossing. Fucking hell, sleep, when would it arrive? "Wait… you were in 'Virgin Suicides',"

"Indeed. I'd also starred in 'The Faculty'… with Hajile himself,"

Hajile breathed hard, not believing what he saw. "Josh… no…"

"Wait! Josh Hardknot?" Hermione cried out.

"At your service," Josh said, bowing slightly.