Harry was moping again. He'd HAD it with all this rubbish; Dumringdun being alive, something he could NOT accept; the new headmaster of Sluterun, Professor Dinkerdeedoo getting in his head and listening to EVERY thought... and if Hermione didn't stop playing that freakin' 'Good Charlotte' CD, Harry was gonna go Death Eater on her.

Ron had been listening with her, saying that he really liked it. It was an incredibly odd eventuality, seeing as he'd NEVER taken to Muggle music. He said he was just going to go down and read 'The Daily Prophet', but ended up sitting with her instead, a dopey smile on his face.

NOTHING could be explained at this point. Both his 'allies' were becoming brainwashed morons; he had NO one to rely on... wait.

Harry sighed, seeing Hajile walking up the stairs in a rush. "Hajile!" he said; ah, finally someone with REASON! Upon approaching him however, Harry frowned.

"Um... um, um, y-yes, Harry?"

"What... happened to you?" Harry asked. His shirt was rumpled and unbuttoned, tie hanging all the way down to his waist wide open. Large red marks covered his neck and chest, his hair sticking out even more than Harry's ever did. He shook like a leaf as he attempted to put a casual smile on, looking more like a startled chipmunk.

"NOTHING!" he said, louder than he'd probably intended. The smile shook. "Nothing," he murmured. "I fell... down."

"You fell down?"

"You don't believe me!"

"No, no... I um... yea, I believe you," Harry mumbled, confused. Deciding to put this strangeness aside, Harry sighed deeply. "Hajile... have you noticed anything... anything Strange going on around here--"

"NO!" Hajile cried, the smile leaving entirely, replaced with a look of shock. "Nothing strange EVER happens! I wasn't even IN that hallway!"

Harry straightened, turning his head and staring at Hajile edgewise. "Hajile. Come on, what HAPPENED to you?"

Hajile's lips parted. "I... y'now, I was... then he, I was just... there wasn't... I'm so tired... I..." he stammered violently. Without warning he wailed, making Harry jump a mile. The portrait next to them, a jester getting hanged for "bad service" grumbled, body swaying from the rope.

"Simmer down!" he told them. Harry groaned and took Hajile's shoulder to lead him to his dormitory. Once there, Hajile took about ten times to mumble and stammer out the password. Once Harry got a hint on what it was, he rolled his eyes.

"Ginger button," he said. The door swung open, the portrait of a parrot upon it shrugging slightly.

"Can't open without password, sorry, make ya wait make ya wait, RAWWWRR!"

"Nevermind," Harry murmured to it as he walked inside behind Hajile. He crossed his arms after closing the door. "Now then; explain to me what's been going ON with you,"

Hajile flopped on the couch. "Oh HARRY! It was awful!" he moaned loudly. "I was JUST coming back from seeing my sugarnummypiemuffinsweetiepoof..."

"Nasus, got it, move along," Harry demanded impatiently.

"How was I to know Josh Hardknot was hiding in the shadowy corner to pounce upon me? To grab me up, toss me to the wall..." Hajile started; his pause made Harry's eyebrow raise, watching a shuddering smile try to form on Hajile's face. A hand went to his neck, rubbing a particularly large red mark. He moaned suddenly. "Kiss me... molest me, hold me close... lick upon every inch he could reach..."

"Hold on; Josh attacked you in the hall... and you liked it?"

Hajile's eyes went wide; another wail came forth. "Nooo! No, it was TERRIBLE! He's such a brute... such a..." Hajile said, eyes rolling around like super balls in a ten-pence grocery store dispenser. "So strong and wild... just like... when he'd taken me against the fence set filming our movie...:

"All right, I get the picture. But I NEED you to straighten up! Ron and Hermione are listening to 'Good Charlotte' in our common room, and I haven't a SOUL to work on these mysteries with! So shape up, I need your help,"

"All right... sure... yea..." Hajile blubbered.

"Think you can follow me to the Headmaster's quarters? I have my invisibility cloak with me, we can sneak in! I NEED to find out what's going on with this Eriam Dumblebee!" Harry asked.

"Where... where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"The cloak,"

"It's invisible," Harry replied, blinking and shaking his head slightly. Hajile frowned.

"But in the movies, it's like this big velvet... thing," he replied.

"In the movies, that Badcliffe kid can't act to save his life," Harry spouted off. "Now COME ON,"

"Um... let me just... change... and bathe..."

"UGH, fine, fine," Harry said, watching Hajile scurry off to the washroom. He sat on the couch in a heap, groaning.

What was HAPPENING? So many questions went unanswered. He lamented in his thoughts, remembering Hermione's skills and knowledge, how she had ALWAYS been so willing to help. He couldn't have gotten through half the things he'd done without her. Now that she was a punkedout!goth!OOC!Hermione, she was just about as useful as a pin made out of jelly.

Ron, his meek but brave friend had fallen into SOME sort of trap. He knew it, he just KNEW it. Wanting his friend to return to his senses, Harry was in deep despair...

It sounded like Hajile was too, but of a different kind. Harry frowned and groaned as strings of 'OH Josh, Josh, JOSH...' rang out. He was loud.

MEANWHILE...

"Woooow... this is wicked, Hermione," Ron said.

"I know, it's WAY cool. 'Good Charlotte' is the best,"

Ron nodded stupidly, numbly. The lyrics of 'Let Me Go' played loudly off of Hermione's CD player as they sat in the common room like slugs.

Let me go, Have some fun,
Well my decision sucks to you,
But I'm so young

Don't even try to figure out mysteries happening at Hogwarts.

Ron didn't act alarmed at the sudden change of the song. Hermione wasn't very concerned either. "They're top notch, the best," she mumbled. Ron nodded again.

"Yea! Wicked!"

We'd hang out late and fight just trying to have fun
We were such punk ass kids but we knew everyone
And who could see through such blazed up bloodshot eyes,
There was a plan for us one day we'd realize,

And it wasn't to find out anything going on

Become a gothy person and you might get to be a Death Eater

Cos' lyk, we're so cool and dark and stuff.

Oh, and shop at Hot Topic a whole lot.

Ron frowned, remembering something... "Hey Hermione?"

"Ya?"

"Um..." he muttered, eyes blinking profusely. "Weren't we like... doing... something? Wasn't there some people we knew that needed... something?"

"Dunno what you're talking about Ron," she replied. Ron sighed.

"Yea... me neither. Wicked,"

AN INEXPLICABLE TWO MONTHS LATER...

It was Halloween. The sudden time shift allowed the writers to stop dragging on with every single minute detail of every single minute of this Hogwarts rubbish.

Harry and Hajile had been caught stepping three feet from the dormitory's portrait hole when Hajile started yelling, "WOW! IT'S SO COOL! We're INVISIBLE!" and got unmasked by Professor MacDunbungle, who just happened to be on a stroll nearby.

Meanwhile, Hermione had taken Ron to her closets to find some boy clothes he could wear; Hot Topic was now Ron's favorite shop, even though he hadn't set foot in the muggle store. Hermione and 'Good Charlotte' were convincing enough.

Harry was getting ready for the Halloween feast when Dean Thomas approached him. "'Arry... someone was waiting by the door for you, asked me to come get you," he said. He took out his magazine, 'Advice for Small, Barely Mentioned Characters Who Serve Only Background Voices to Support Heavier Roles' and sat down.

"Thanks, Dean," Harry said. Dean nodded, engrossed in his reading. Harry walked to the portrait hole and stepped outside. Looking to his right he frowned.

"Josh?"

Josh crossed his arms and nodded slowly. "We need to talk," he said mysteriously.