Hihi everyone! Back again! Thx for all the reviews! Now there's lots I gotta say…sooo…I've stuffed everyone into my magical box so they won't distract me.
Johnny: -pops outta box- let us out u little bi-
-slams box shut-
-mumbling heard-
hahaha, don't worry they're fine…….now that I've added air holes… ahem anyways…thank you all for the reviews and for bringing Kaikai back to me! I have put him into a nice protected and secure room so no one can ever kidnap him again. :)
-closet door banging-
hehehe, let all ignore that. Anyways I was also wondering if you all got the last chapter?...cause like two people asked me why Johnny gave the sweater back to Cecilia (which is her name for those who don't remember…-cough- Mimay:P don't worry me forgetful too) Well anyway I don't wanna take up space writing what happened if ppl get it…so just tell me in you review if u got it or not…if not I'll make it clear in a future chapter…lol Hope u guys got the ending too, with someone always arriving home after her…I know Tigerrelly got it:D
Anyways thank u everyone for the reviews! I'd hug u all…but that'd probably scare u all away:P
Chapter 3 - Consumin', Suffocatin', Drownin'...Broken
Never played truth or dare
I'd have to check my mirror
To see if I'm still here
"There's nothing to lose. When no one knows your name." My alarm clock rang.
"Ummm..." So...tired...another Monday, second week of school now... You haven't missed anything from the first day of school, all is about the exact same. Still ignored, invisible, oh, and Britney still mad at me, so I'm still like eating lunch alone, but I'm pretty sure even if she weren't mad at me, I'd still be eating alone. Ummm...let's see, I stayed up late yesterday, crushed under my tons and tons of homework. No, seriously there was one point where all my books fell on me and I couldn't get back up. On top of that, I learned just about nothing, didn't get a thing. Exactly zip of the information was able to enter my brain. Rei, on the other hand took about ten minutes out of his busy schedule and got it all done. I don't even see my other brothers do their homework anymore, they could probably do it in their sleep.
"There's nothing to gain. But the days don't seem to change" My alarm clock continued.
"I'm up! I'm up!" I yelled at the alarm and turn it off. My little routine, wake up, yell at my alarm then brush my teeth.
I knocked on the bathroom door. "You done in there?"
Silence.
"Yo, you done?" I said a little louder.
Silence.
I kicked the door hard. "Ow! FU-" The door suddenly opened.
"Now, now how many times have I told you not to swear?" Enrique asked coming out, shaking his head. He closed the bathroom door behind him.
"Hm, never?"
"Yeah, well I meant to." He shrugged then went to his room.
I pushed the door of the bathroom open slowly, sort of afraid to see the condition it was in. Such slobs. Towels laid all over the floor, water and toothpaste scattered everywhere. Toothbrushes laid everywhere on the table and in the sink. Trying not to step on any of the puddles, I entered the bathroom carefully but not carefully enough.
"Ewwww, please to water. Be water!" I prayed. What? It's happened once, stepped into the bathroom, only to find myself in a puddle of pee. Okay, so that was a loooong time ago but I can never be too careful when five guys have used this bathroom before me. I took the driest-looking towel off the floor, folded it in two and placed it over the mysterious liquid substance. "Now where's my toothbrush?"...never mind, found it. There it was my poor purple, innocent, defenseless, little toothbrush floating in the toilet. Ewwwwwwww! I quickly picked it up...and threw it in the garbage. Washing my hands with loads and loads of soap afterwards.
Took me a whole ten minutes to find a new, unused, unopened one. Another five to find a place to hide it. By the time I was finally dressed and ready, all the food was gone. How considerate of them.
"You guys ate everything?"
"Hey, you snooze, you lose."
"You don't even live here!" I yelled at Tyson. He shrugged in response, and continued stuffing his face. "Moooom!"
"There isn't enough time for you to eat anyway. You shouldn't have taken so long upstairs."
"But the place was a mess, and my toothbrush-"
"No time, just eat a waffle," she said, handing me a plate.
I sighed. Everyone was rushing to start the new day. Hm, Tala missing again, probably already left, Hockey practice maybe.
"Here," my mom placed a waffle onto my plate. "Sit, eat, now. Or you're going to be late again." She stressed the last word. I was basically late everyday last week, different reasons everyday.
I nodded and took a seat across from my dad, which was usually Tala's seat.
Which reminds me, I didn't tell ya anything about my parents. Well okay, short for everything. Both smart, like really but don't have high paying jobs, cause they're like one of those people that want to help people and stuff, but they make enough, I guess. Mom, Social-worker. Dad, lawyer-typed-thing specializing in abused children's cases...or something. Both a mix of a lot of different origin and ethnicity, so I have no clue what I am, too hard to keep track. Dad, Red hair. Mom, Blonde.
Oh and if you're wondering why Rei has black hair, its called hair dye. He used to have the same color as me, which is like a mix of my dad's red and my mom's blonde, so like an orangy color. (Ewwww, Picture ...Rei ... orange hair shudders . )
Tala, stomped down, okay maybe no hockey practice. Since when is he ready after me? He held a letter in his hand and gave it to Enrique. As he read it, he's usual goofy, relaxed face disappeared, and he handed it to Johnny, who read it and then it got past to Max, Rei and finally my mom and dad. Isn't that so lovely? Everyone gets to read it but me. Joy!
Everyone's face was so serious, kinda freaky. "What is that?"
"Everyone off to school now," my mom demanded. Okay that was so purposely avoiding my question. "One of you, drive Cecilia to school."
"I'll do it." Tala said, and then grabbed my arm dragging me to his car.
"What's happening?"
"Nothing, get into the car."
"Okay...uh...but-"
"No buts, get into the car."
"...I don't have any shoes on..."
He sighed and then rolled his eyes. "Go in and get them then." he seemed reeeeeeally frustrated, better not get on his bad side today.
I rushed in the house then back and into the car. This whole thing is awkward. I don't think Tala's offered to drive me anywhere in the years he's had his license. There was total silence, but the whole time it seemed like Tala was trying to say something, trying to bring up a subject up but nothing. He opened his mouth then shut it again over and over 'till finally he pulled up in front of the school. "Get out."
"Um, don't you have to come in too?"
"I will, just get out."
"Uh...oookay," I opened the door and got out. The car immediately sped away once I closed the door. Weird, the second sortda nice thing a brother has done in the last week or so. First, Johnny and his sweater and now Tala and driving me to school. What's next? They gonna start helping me with homework? Yeah, riiiight. I'll keep dreaming.
Okay, so Math...teacher...not funny but tries to be. Sloppy and no lesson plan. I know already that I'm not going to learn a thing from him. As if I don't already have enough trouble with the subject I get a useless teacher too.
Ummm...English...project already, Poetry Anthology. Write ten poems...yeah like I have anything to write about... My teacher was all like, "Write them about your life, your experiences...blah, blah, blah" What life? What experiences? I hate these assignments that really can only be done be some people.
Yeeeeeah, so I'm kind of lost now. I came out of English and I think I should have turned right when I turned left...or maybe I should have gone...straight? Uh...My locker is number 2726 and this one here is 3859! Wait... When did I go up one floor?...No, no…I think it's 'cause my English class is on the third floor...so I need to find stairs...right?
I think I saw some down here... I walked down the hall...took a right...then a left...and uh...another left? No wait maybe that should have been a right. I went up and down that hallway a couple of times. Okay...okay...I give up. Time to ask someone.
"Um, excuse...me?-"
"Stupid, grade nines, don't you know you shouldn't talk to us." a girl in the group said then they all walked away.
Okay, well I must have missed that memo. Don't talk to random groups of girls. Right, got it.
"The staircase is right there," a guy leaning against the wall said, he gestured to a door just a couple of steps away... and labeled... 'Staircase.' I think the only reason he pointed it out for me was 'cause he felt pity for me. He gave me this look, as if he thought I was in special Ed or something.
"I swear it wasn't there when I walked down this hallway the last...uh..." I counted with my fingers, "five times..." I said jokingly. No laugh. No nothing. Awkward, was all it was. "Okaygoingnow." I said quickly. Holding my books tight I rushed at the door...and...Bang! I fell, books still in hand and all; I was just on the floor, like lying there. I looked up and the door read "Pull."
"Heh...heh...hehhehheh," I tried to get out a laugh, not going well. Quickly I got to my foot and pulled the door open. Before I went in I saw the guy before shaking his head.
The door shut behind me, and no one was there. I sighed, good. Wait...these stairs only go...up? What the hell! I'm trying to go down! That's so illogical! I turned around about to go back out when I stopped dead in my tracks. Yeeeeeeeeeeeah, not going back out there. Up it is!
I stood in a mysterious hallway and looked around. No clue, where this is. Deserted. No sound, no people. Freaky, is some mass murderer going to pop up and like slice me to pieces? Or maybe the girl from The Ring or the kid from The grudge, with his kittycat noise are going to come along Or the dude from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, who like skins you alive, not that I'm even in Texas but maybe there's some sort of copycat...Why do these thought only come up when I'm alone. Do I want to scare myself?
Suddenly the bell rang, which freaked the hell out of me. Sudden noises scare me, shh don't tell anyone, not that they'd care. The five minute bell. Great, lunch is over, I have five minutes to get to my locker and then class or I'll be late...again. People began to rush to their lockers, around me. Uh oh...I think I might be in a grade twelve hallway...yes 'a' as in 'one of' as in they 'own' more then one hallway in this school.
Yeah, definitely! Grade twelves! Guys more then twice my size started to show up. Most didn't even notice me, cause I'm so small. They pushed and shoved past me as if I wasn't there. One guy purposely came and pushed me to the ground. "Loser!" he cried as he laughed and then walked away. Great, usually I'm not visible enough to make it on the bully radar but on my really bad day, bullies attract to me just to make my day even worst. And this is definitely a really, really bad day! Quickly I tried to pick my stuff before they got destroyed or kicked away by people. Tried being the operative word.
No one stopped to help, no one even bothered to take the effort to not step on my stuff. The just walked by as if I was even there, as if all my stuff weren't scattered all over the floor.
Why don't they just step on my fingers while they're at it!..."OW!" Never mind...someone just did. I hate today...I HATE TODAY! Another person kicked one of my books against the locker. Bang, it hit the locker. Then crack, from the seventy dollar textbook. And the guy was gone.
Soon everyone was gone, as fast as they had appeared. The final bell rang. I am now officially late, not that I really care at this point. The hallway was once again silent.
I sat on the floor, my notes and papers all trampled on. I held my hand in a fist, hard. My nail began to dig into my flesh, as I breathed in and out loudly. Calm...calm...calm, I can wait till I'm at home to break down, and lash out at people that don't deserve it.
I slowly picked up my books, papers, and binders. Trying to reorganize things as best as I could, as quickly as I could. I had tried so hard this year to stay organized and in one swift blow all my hard work was gone. Fun, isn't it?
I ran my finger over the crack in my hardcover textbook...my hardcover...geography textbook. Damn, any other subject I could have lived with, any other subject...but it had to be that subject where I had that teacher.
Well, I have my stuff for it...so I guess I don't need to find my locker...just my classroom...number 326. So back downstairs it is.
The doors read...310...312...314...316...318...320...getting warmer...322...and...324...finally...326...there! I turned the door knob...locked. I knocked at the door. The teacher stared up from his desk, but didn't get up. No one got up, so I stood there...and stood there...till finally someone had to go to the washroom and opened the door, at that time I slipped in.
"Why are you a whole hour late?" the teacher asked. "Class is almost over."
"I was standing outside for twenty minutes. You saw me."
"Why should I interrupt my lesson to open the door for you? Why should a class member have to get up for no reason, get distracted from their education to open the door for a slacker-student that was already forty minutes late?"
I didn't answer just stared at him.
"They shouldn't have to, should they?" he continued.
I shook my head slightly.
He stared at me, till his eyes came by my books. "What happened to your textbook?" he asked, I covered it quickly with my arm. "Give it to me."
I handed him the cracked up book.
"Destroying school property? That's not a good habit to get into."
"It was an accident, it fell..."
"Fell? It takes a much larger force then that to destroy a book like this. Tsk, tsk. A lair too."
I didn't answered, I learned a long time ago just staying silent was better then saying anything at all.
"You will pay for it."
I nodded.
"Ninety-five dollars." he added. I remember he said it was worth seventy but still said nothing. Nodded again.
"Sit and write your homework down." he gestured to the board then went back to his work. I sat down at what was known as "my corner" now 'cause I still had no desk, and I don't think that teacher's making any effort to get me one. I was writing down the questions for homework. I knew nothing, and I don't think the teacher or any student in this class, including my own brother, that shared the same womb as me, that has the same blood running through his veins as me, was going to explain it to me.
Drip... Drip... Drip... Something dripped onto my paper. Crimson colored...blood? I turned my hand over and there was four cuts, made by four nails. A little bit of blood ran out of each of them. I didn't wipe it away but instead stared at it, stared at the blood drip onto my paper, over and over. Relaxing...
Left foot...Right foot...Left foot...Right foot...over and over and over. That's right, I get the pleasure of walking again, but it's not that bad, I mean I get time to think I guess. But I have a tendency of thinking about things I don't want to think about, like friends and family and school, the future...uh...basically life.
Right now, I'm thinking about family, and how I'm going to tell my parents I destroyed a textbook and now need money to pay for it. How's this? "Dad, I need nine-five dollars for a textbook I broke." that's a little blunt and probably won't go to well. We'll get into the subject of how it broke, and I'd rather not tell it. What if I didn't mention the price of the book right away... "Mom I was walking down some stairs at school when I accidentally fell and my textbook somehow got wrecked in the process of me falling." Maybe she'll be worried about how I am after the fall then the coast of the new textbook. Riiiight, in Neverneverland maybe. We'd just get into the subject of how clumsy I am. Oh I know! I've got one! "Dearest parents, I was at school today when I saw a pack of ninjas attacking a little boy. So obvious I tried to save him, the ninjas were fast and had weapons. I only had one thing to defend myself and that was my geography textbook. So I managed to save the little boy but my textbook got pretty beaten up and I need ninety-five dollars to replace it. But that amount of money is worth the life of a little boy right?" Yes, it's perfect! --'
It wasn't so bad. I got the 'Money doesn't grow on trees' speech and the 'You're so clumsy' speech. And the best part? I'll be working it off for a looooong time to come! Great isn't it? My parents don't ever ground me, 'cause that wouldn't be much of a punishment for me, considering the only place I usually go to is school. Unless they want to forbid me from going there, that would be great!
Once they were done lecturing and criticizing me, they were off to work...again, busy schedules, important cases. No surprise there.
"We can't tell her! We won't tell her!" Rei yelled.
I growled. I just want to be miserable on my own. Can't they just leave already?
"So we'll deal with it when that day comes!"
What is Rei so angry about? God, one day I actually want to be alone, and they all decided to stay home.
"I don't care! We aren't telling her!" Rei yelled again.
Don't care about what? Why does he keep yelling!
"CAN YOU ALL PLEASE SHUT. UP!" I yelled. "I'm trying to sleep!" I said coming into Tala's room. And so the lashing out begins.
"It's only eight..." Enrique commented.
"Since when did you give a damn when I go to bed? Don't you people have some dates to go to or something? Just leave already!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"You never cared before why start asking questions now. I just want to be left alone!"
"Jeez, mood swings. She was just fine an hour ago."
Just fine? Just fine? An hour ago I was yelling and screaming about my homework and the fact that everyone in the house wouldn't shut the hell up. I stabbed a knife into the table and they call that 'just fine'? They really don't pay any attention, I probably could have killed myself with that knife right then and there and they'd still be yacking on and on about nothingness. My body will start to rot and stink up the place before they notice that I'm dead.
"Well, try living your whole life ignored by everyone in the world." I whispered to myself, as I began to head back to my bed.
"What do you expect with your attitude?" Johnny asked.
I stopped but didn't say anything. People began to shift around behind me as they finally got ready for their dates. Then I went back into the room, and slammed the door.
I kicked the garbage can into the air; it hit the wall then fell to the ground. I ran my hands through my long orange hair.
Maybe he's right, there's something wrong with me. That's why no one even seems to notice me. But what is it? What's wrong with me? Why do I have to be such a nobody? Why can't anyone for once notice that I exist? That I'm here? Why am I so different? No matter what, even in a new school, with a fresh start I'm still a nobody. I'm still not able to make any real friends. Still no one talks to me, no one even gives me a second look. WHY? I pushed everything on my desk onto the floor, with a frustrated growl. Do I have the word 'loser' tattooed onto my forehead?
I looked up at the mirror...at my reflection. I'm here, I do exist, I have a reflection, I can see myself. Then why can't anyone else?
My reflection stared back at me, smirking as if it knew something that I didn't, as if it knew what my problem was, what was wrong with me.
"Stupid" "Loser"" Freak" "Stupid" "Loser"" Freak" "Stupid" "Loser"" Freak" "Stupid" "Loser"" Freak"
Their taunting voices repeated over and over.
I covered my ears with my hands, closing my eyes. "Stop it! stop it! STOP IT!" tears ran down my checks as I started hitting my head with my hands. "Shut up! Shut up!" My voice got angrier and angrier. " SHUT UUUUUUP!" I snapped and punched the mirror, sharp-pointy pieces of the mirror scattered everywhere, I turned my head, just as the one piece cut me across the cheek.
Breathing hard, I looked around. The whole room was a mess, but at this point of my break down I couldn't care less. I crawled up in a ball on my bed. My hair covering my tear filled face. When I had started to cry, I just couldn't stop, so I just let it come, all of it, fourteen years of bottled up everything.
One last thing people, I was wondering which you'd all prefer a happy or sad ending…cause we'll song-wise the person is suppose to commit suicide…which I could do…but I have the cutest little happy ending planned out in my head…but it totally doesn't go with the song… and i really want it to go…but the cute ending I have in mind! Can't decide…I just want to know what u ppl think…in the end I'm just going to go with the one I write best or maybe by then I'll have a better ending then what I have in mind…lol well R&R!