Chapter 15
Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
MINNIE: So...what now?
ERIK: How about we kill the foppess?
(all stare at Emmy)
EMMY: (stares and points at Raoul) Wait...why are you all looking at me? Raoul's over there
RON: Don't mention...IT! He'll think we care about him!
RAOUL: (goes to hug Ron)
RON: AAAAAA! (points at Emmy) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
MEG: (walks over and sees Raoul hugging Ron) Uuuummmm...what are you guys watching?
ERIK: Brokeback Mountain. Sets good examples
MINNIE: (sarcasm joy) Yes...especially on the young and impressionable...(stares at Ron and Harry)
RAOUL: (valley girl like) Por FAVOR...no hablar ingles
CARLOTTA: (sighs) Idiota
RAOUL: I'm sorry, but I only speak English
CARLOTTA: Vatevah
RON: Ummm...CAN SOMEONE SAVE ME?
RAOUL: What's the magic word?
RON: ummm...Por favor?
RAOUL: GOD, WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN? I ONLY SPEAK ELVISH! (dumps Ron and stomps off)
CARLOTTA:...si!
VOICE: Muchos buenos!
(Dora and Boots reappear)
ERIK: Oh HELL no...
BOOTS: You meanes thought that you could get rid of us!
ERIK: Yes, and we were quite happy with that thought, thank you
DORA: You're welcome
MEG:...no, actually...he's not
(Everyone gasps)
HARRY: Did Meg just...TALK BACK?
GERRY: I think so...
DORA: That wasn't very nice!
MEG:...okay...That is IT! I am SICK of being so damn QUIET!
DORA:...find your happy place...
MEG: I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!(jumps on Dora and beats her up)
MINNIE:...maybe we should do something? (stares at Erik)
ERIK: Yeah...you're right(goes over to Dora and kicks her) Hey kid. Stop it. YOu're embarrassing me
DORA: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
ERIK: (shrugs) I''ve done all I can do
GERRY: Which really wasn't much
ERIK:(whispers to him) ssshhhhh...I'm trying to impress the girls...
GERRY AND ERIK: (looks over at them)
CHRISTINE: (sleeping)
EMMY: (also sleeping)
CARLOTTA: (singing)
MINNIE: (praying)
MEG AND DORA: (fighting)
GERRY: Oh yeah. They're REAL impressed.
HARRY: You know, we really don't have that much to impress
RON: yeah. I wish we had something...better
(rbright light appears again. Britney Spears and Paris Hoilton come)
GERRY/RON/HARRY/ERIK:AAAAAAA! TAKE IT AWAY!
EMMY: (wakes up)
CHRISTINE: (wakes up and falls on Emmy) What?
GERRY/RON/HARRY/ERIK: THAT! (points to Britney and Paris)
EMMY: (pushes Christine off) We'll take sare of this
CHRISTINE: (looks at Emmy)
EMMY: (looks at Christine)
BOTH:(nods and pulls up sleeves)
A FEW MINUTES LATER...
EVERYONE: (dancing over remains of Paris and Britney) WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIENDS...
MEG: That was so awesome, we even stopped fighting!
GERRY: That was pretty pimpin'...
HARRY: And to think...we didn't think you girls were much to impress!
CHRISTINE: Well, you don't think that now, do you?
GERRY/RON/HARRY/ERIK: HELL NO!