Chapter 21
Jesus Take The Wheel
ANOTHER TISSUE WARNING!
I'M SERIOUS GUYS! I KEEP BURSTING OUT IN TEARS!
GRAB TISSUE NOW! YOU'LL NEED IT!
I MEAN IT!
FINAL WARNING!GRAB IT NOW!
INFACT, DON'T EVEN START READING UNTIL YOU GRAB TISSUE…
EVERY REVIEW I RECEIVE BETTER SAY
"I KEPT HAVING TO GRAB TISSUE…"
OR
"I WENT THROUGHROLLS OF TOILET PAPER! I COULDN'T STOP CRYING!"
I don't want any
"I HAD SNOT DRIPPING ON MY SHIRT!"
DUDE, THAT'S JUST GROSS! NOW GO GET TISSUE!
NO EXCUSES!GET IT NOW!
Again, picking up right where I left off…after this chapter, there won't be anymore flashbacks, I don't think…Just Tom talking…(Oh, and sorry for confusing anyone…It's supposed to be LIAM with Sadie in Tommy's hospital room in the last chapter…sorry if I confused anyone…)(Also, one of Alexz older song in here. It's called "Cause You're Watching Over me…if you want to check it out, someone has the video for it from when she was singing it on So Weird, so just go to youtube . com (Sorry bout the spaces, but you know won't let you put links in) and then go to the search engine bar, and type it in…another good song to listen to while reading this, would be Resolution by Nick Lachey, which can also be found on YouTube…if you look, there's a Jommy video to the song, so…Yeah…)
Anyway, onto the story!
"Tom, what happened?"
"Can you just come to Toronto…I can't do this now…I can't explain over the phone…"
"Sure…I'll be there soon…."
Tommy walked back into Jude's room…
TJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJ
"Knock, knock…." Tommy looked up to see who was at the door.
"Mom….thank God…."
He rushed up to hug her.
"Tom….what
happened….I talked to you last week….you said she was fine…that
the babies were too…"
"I….Sit down…it's a long story…"
He lead his mom to a seat, and for the first time, she noticed his arm was wrapped in a cast from just under the shoulder, all the way down to the beginning of his fingers, which was covered by a sling.
"Tom, what happened to you? I haven't seen you like this since…"
TJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJ
Tommy sat in an empty chair, finally sleeping, with just his leather jacket to keep him warm. (Aww….I could actually imagine that….sooo cute!)
Sadie and Liam showed up later that day after talking with the nurse, and they all decided that it should be Sadie to tell Tommy what the doctor had told them.
She walked into the room, and saw Tommy listening to his i-pod. He was listening to a song Jude had written and recorded before they ever met….called "Cause You're Watching Over Me"
You lift me up to touch the sky
When there's a tear you wipe my eye
Everyone, I think, should know
Where I am you always go
I close my eyes I know you're here
Open them wide and you appear
I am always safe and free
Cause you're watching over me
From the biggest cloud up in the sky
To a tiny spot upon a fly, yeah
Everywhere I choose to be
You are watching over me
I close my eyes I know you're here
Open them wide and you appear
I am always safe and free
Cause you're watching over me
You are shadow, you are light
You take the darkness from the night
I am always safe and free
Cause you're watching over me
"Tom?...Tommy!" Sadie tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh….hey…."
"Hey….Any change?"
"No….This is all my fault Sadie….She handed me a knife when he was there….I could've kept her safe….The police would've showed up, it would've been self defense, and we would be home, taking care of Jen and TJ right now…"
"Tom, don't beat yourself up over what could've been………..What're ou listening to?"
"Cause You're Watching Over Me….she downloaded it as an MP3 a few months ago…"
He pulled the
earphones out of his ears, and set the i-pod aside.
"Tom…we all drew straws to see who would come in and tell you what the nurse told us….and I ended up being the one who had to…"
She was driving last
Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas
Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the
backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and
gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
"Sadie….what's going on…."
She had a lot on
her mind and she didn't pay attention
she was going way too
fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of
glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't
even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands
up in the air
"Tom….I don't know how to tell you this….but…"
Jesus take the
wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
"What, Sadie….what did they say?"
I'm letting
go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm
on
Jesus take the wheel
"Tom…..Jude probably won't wake up…."
It was still getting
colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a
stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping
like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
"As in for a few days or weeks, right?"
She bowed her
head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my
life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
"No Tom…as in ever…I'm so sorry…"
Jesus take the wheel
Take
it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
Tommy put his hand up, and walked out of the room, showing that he didn't want to be talked to. He walked outside into the cold November air. As soon as he got outside, the tears poured. He collapsed against the wall for support. But his sadness quickly turned to anger, and he turned around, hitting and kicking the wall….Hoping that something….anything…would take away the pain…or make her wake up…
I'm letting
go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Sadie and Liam walked out to see Tommy, soon followed by Georgia, Stuart, Yvette, and Darius. Darius broke through the crowd, and walked over to Tommy.
"Tommy,
calm down….man, you gotta stop blaming yourself for this!"
Tommy turned to him with anger and hurt in his eyes.
"THIS IS MY FAULT! IF I HAD FAUGHT JAMIE, JUDE WOULDN'T BE DYING!"
"You weren't the one that was standing there, watching the security gates, Tom! There's nothing you could've done to stop Jamie from shooting her….You tried, remember?" Darius pointed to Tommy's wrapped arm.
"It's still my fault….she gave me a knife, and I could've fought him! But I didn't! This is ALL my fault!"
"STOP IT T! STOP BLAMING YOURSELF!"
Darius yanked his good arm, and embraced him as Tommy cried.
Oh, Jesus take
the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save
me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the
wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh…
Kwest hugged Sadie, trying to stay strong for her, while still mourning the fact that he may lose one of his good friends.
Stuart struggled to hold it all together…Knowing that his baby might die…and the fact that her mother wasn't even-
"Stuart? Tom? Sadie? What's going on….my plane just landed…"
"Mom….Jude's gonna die…" Sadie looked at her mother and Don.
What! What happened…."
Everyone (Minus Darius, who is still hugging Tommy who is still crying.), explained what happened.
TJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJ
Tommy sat in a chair next to Jude, holding her hand. After a while, Sadie came in, and saw him. She knew he was thinking about what he had to do.
"Hey Tom….whatcha thinking about?"
"What do you think?"
"Sorry…"
"No, I'm
sorry….I didn't mean to snap…it's just…I…can't….you
understand…don't you?"
"Yeah…but they're telling you….she's not gonna…"
"Yeah…"
"Have you thought about what you're gonna do?"
"I've done more than that…I know what I have to do…now it's me fighting myself…"
"Tom…"
"I have to shut them off, Sadie….I have to…"
"I know…."
"But I don't want to…"
"If it'll make you feel better, I'll hold you while you do…" He gave her a sideways glance.
"I'm married Tom…Don't even think that I feel that way for you…"
He let out a VERY small smile.
"Okay….we gotta do this quick….but I need to have a few moments first…"
"Okay… I'll get a nurse, and everyone outside….just let us know when you're ready….there's no rush on this…"
"Really? Cause if the hospital doesn't care, I'll just keep her here…" Tommy joked, and they both laughed a little.
Sadie turned back just as she walked out the door, and smiled at Tommy.
"Get outa here, Fenway…" She gave a small smile, and then walked out.
"Hey girl…" He turned to Jude taking her hand in his.
"I'm fighting everything inside of me to start crying right now….But I'm gonna do what you asked…I'm gonna take good care of Jen and Tom….But it's not gonna be the same without you….It's so unfair that we have to do this….our anniversary was 2 days ago…I know…but I'll see you again…I'm sorry I couldn't protect you more….I tried to….I'll make it up to you when I see you again…." He got choked up, as a few tears fell.
"I don't want to do this…But I know it's what you would've wanted…unless you can give me some sort of sign…some sign that'll tell me different….But I have to do this…. I can't sit here and hang on, no matter how bad I want to…I just can't…I'm already dying inside, because I have to do this….Do you understand that girl? God knows I love you so much….And with everything in me, I don't want to let you go….ever…."
He lifted her hand and kissed it, before leaning down, and kissing for the last time, on the lips. He touched the side of her face, as a tear of his fell onto her face. He brushed it away, and kissed her forehead.
"No…..I don't wanna do this girl…But I have to…."
He walked out of the room, noting to everyone that he was ready….or at-least as ready as he was ever going to be.
A nurse, and everyone else nodded, and then followed him into the room.
"Whenever you're ready, just flip that switch…"
Tommy nodded. He turned to the machine so that he couldn't see anyone. Sadie walked up behind him, and rubbed his back. He turned his head to the side and looked at her. She nodded, and he turned back to machine. He put his thumb on the switch, and held it there. Then he turned to the nurse.
"How long till she'll flat-line?"
"It could be anywhere from 30 seconds, to an hour…it ranges with each person…"
Tommy nodded, and then turned back to the machine.
I close my eyes I know you're here
Open them wide and you appear
I am always safe and free
Cause you're watching over me
You are shadow, you are light
You take the darkness from the night
I am always safe and free
Cause you're watching over me
The song played somewhere with-in the hospital, but Tommy could hear it.
"You are watching over me, girl." And with that, he flipped the switch.
The second he did, he stepped away from the machine, putting his hands up in a surrendering position. They all knew if he hadn't he would've turned it back on.
"Can I stay with her…until…"
"Yeah…" Everyone else said a small good bye, and then Tommy sat on the edge of the bed for a while, holding her hand. After a while, he laid down next to her, touching the side of her face, and holding her hand. Occasionally he would kiss the side of her head, or her hand, and then look up at the monitor, waiting for the beeps to get farther apart.
After a while, they did, and he kissed her hand again. Then he opened his mouth and began to sing.
"I am always safe and free
Cause you're watching over me
You are shadow, you are light
You take the darkness from the night"
The lines began to get even further apart…
"I am always safe and free
Cause you're watching over me"
Just as he finished, and the note drifted into the air, the line stopped moving, and went flat. Tears filled his eyes, and he kissed her cheek one last time. "I love you girl….and I'll never stop…"
He walked out of the room, and broke down in tears, and Sadie, the only person who'd stuck around, ran over to him, as the nurse went in to shut the machine off.
"She's really gone, Sadie! She's gone…and there's nothing I could've done…"
……………