AN: Still don't own FMA Damn…

Chapter 3: Guilt and forgiveness

The months flew by and soon my love affair with Elica had just reached a year. And the best part was no one except Elica and I knew, but at the same time I began to have a sickening feeling in my stomach. It wasn't that I didn't love Elica, no; I loved her so much that at points it was unbearable to be without her, but I felt I don't know…guilty. I felt like I was doing wrong, like the forbidden fruit had suddenly become sour.

I believe my feelings were beginning to show, 'cause on one of our dates Elica looked worried.

"Eddy?" She had asked.

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry I-I wasn't listing. Please continue Elica," I said as I had woken from my daze. I was in deep thought, over it all again, and I was starting to become worried with the affair. She looked at me and grabbed my hand.

"Eddy, are you alright? You don't look so good," she was worried about, me I could hear it in her voice. I looked to her and smiled.

"No," I said staring into her beautiful blue gaze, "I'm not feeling well darling. Maybe we should continue this another night?" She nodded.

"Of course. Waiter," she had called our server for the evening.

"Yes miss," he said with a deep bow.

"May we please have our check?" She said smiling.

"Of course."

We left the restaurant and I drove her home. Again Hohemheim was out of town, and Alexander was in his shed lab. She looked at me, held me, then let go.

"Make sure you get a good night's sleep Eddy," she said and then kissed me. Then she started up to her house. I sighed; I had no clue what I was doing. I started home, Lilly was with a friend and she would not be back for another hour. I got out of my car and looked at my pocket watch.

Good it's Seven o'clock, Lilly isn't home yet. Or so I thought. I entered the house, took off my coat and headed to the kitchen into calm my nerves. And there sitting at the table, arms folded, was Lilly.

"L-Lilly," I was suprised. "Y-your home early." She walked over to me.

"You said you would be home," her eyes were icy and merciless. "You promised you'd be here for me. No lies, no secretes, you promised."

"I-I was out," I was very nervous, and wondering, 'when she did get home?' "How was Sarah?" She looked at me.

"I wasn't at Sarah's today," she said. She was angry.

"I was at Alex's today," she said calmly-way too calmly. It took me a while to figure out who Alex was. She was talking about Alexander Ethelbert.

"Really," I said. "What were you two doing?"

"Nothing much, talking mostly. He said when his father's away he sees he mom leaving the house with a man who looks like you. Care to explain Eddy?" She was looking at me with such a glare that even Wrath would cringe.

"What business is it of yours?" I shot back. She looked at me with surprise.

"You are," she said and added "you're seeing Mrs. Ethelbert. Eddy why? I was joking when I said 'you were hit by cupid's arrow'. W…" I cut her off. I was angry, why was she saying this to me? Her own brother when lord knows she could be screwing Alexander Ethelbert.

"Lilly," I started. "Why the hell is it any of your business what I do in my spare time. Why the hell do you want to know? Do you want to know if I'm fucking Elica, fine I am. Your always like this you always want things and then you manipulate. So get a goddamn clue and stop prying into my…"SMACK. Her hand hit me right across my face. I looked at her in shock; tears were rolling down her face. She-she was crying…really crying.

"Stop it!" She yelled. "Just stop it! Your not Eddy, your not him. You're just a greedy monster who just looks out for himself. You've switched places with him. My brother, my big brother Edward Kenncolt is a nice sweet person who wouldn't say those awful things to me." I hurt her; I really did hurt her…not by hitting, but with what I said. Then I realized what she said. I had become a greedy monster. I had just lost myself to a lie. There would be no happiness for me and Elica, she had a family and I believe Alexander was saying the same thing to her just now.

"Lilly I…" I started to speak but she cut me off.

"No! Just get the hell away from me." And she ran. I slumped myself on the floor my hands clasped to my face.

I really screwed myself up this time.

Lilly did not talk to me at all for two weeks, I tried everything to apologize: gifts, chocolates, even expensive alchemy books-she burned them. The brat. Every gift I gave her she burned. She just looked at me like I was a stranger. I bought a gold locket and put the picture from when we were little in it and left it in her room with a note.

Then one morning she spoke, she didn't look at me and she said

"Hohemheim is back; maybe you should tell him what's been going on between you and his wife." She was right, and I also realized something else, I had to end it with Elica. I went to Hohemheim first I told him, he looked at me.

"Hohemheim, please forgive me. I'm so sorry, please forgive me." He walked up to me I was ready for him to kill me, but he put his hand on my shoulder. He smiled.

"I forgive you. I knew Elica was up to something. I was meaning to have a talk with her," he smiled that same sad smile.

"Wait," I said. "I'll go talk to Elica, I was planning to end it today. She'll inflict all of her wrath on me."