o1. ring.
Marge
is hysterically sobbing some nonsense about Tom and Dickie's rings;
Peter holds her close, strokes her hair, tries his best to be
comforting, but his mind's on a certain key kept safe in his jacket
pocket.
o2. hero.
"No, you look fine without
them," he murmurs, reaching over and taking off Tom's glasses,
"like Superman," and he doesn't notice the flash of memory-pain
in the other man's eyes.
o3. memory.
Tom looks
down at the gondola and flinches because there are too many memories
in getting into a boat with a charming man.
o4. box.
"I
want to let you in," Tom whispers against his skin, "but I'm
afraid you won't like me anymore."
o5. run.
He
runs away afterwards, because he's Tom Ripley and that's his
nature; he wanders ashamed in Venice, embarrassed at fleeing, the
echo of Peter's kiss still warm on his lips.
o6.
hurricane.
Peter thinks bedtime stories might help with the
nightmares, so he reads Shakespeare aloud; Tom smiles drowsily, falls
asleep dreaming of Caliban and Miranda.
o7. wings.
All
of a sudden they're kissing in an empty piazza and all around them
the air is filled with wingbeats as dozens of startled pigeons take
flight.
o8. cold.
"Are you cold," Peter asks in
a whisper, pulling Tom into his arms; the sound of that voice so
close to his ear just makes Tom shiver again.
o9. red.
The
sight of Tom's blood is disconcerting; it's soaking through the
bandage and Peter dares to ask "Might I come back to check on you
after Marge is settled?"
1o. drink.
He finds
himself transfixed by the way Peter holds the tiny espresso cup in a
manner that is somehow delicate yet not at all feminine; it's
enigmatic, Tom thinks, smiling shyly.
11. midnight.
His
first night in Venice and Tom is still awake, listening to the
churchbells ringing out the midnight hour and thinking of Peter
asleep just on the other side of the wall; he presses one hand
against the plaster, filled with a sudden inexplicable longing.
12.
temptation.
Meredith is so fragile, Tom thinks, and it would
be absurdly easy to fit his hands around her throat and then she'd
be out of the way and he and Peter might be happy; he's going to do
it, he's going to, but somehow he only ends up kissing her
instead.
13. view.
"I think it's the most
beautiful view in Italy," Peter murmurs shyly, and Tom just
blushes.
14. music.
"Only the music talking,"
says Peter, and he's suddenly so close so warm so perfect that for
a moment Tom actually wants to tell him everything.
15.
silk.
"I haven't silk sheets or anything," he says,
opening the door to the guest bedroom, "but it's all yours, until
we can find you a proper place of your own , of course," and for
some reason he's actually nervous as he waits for Tom to say
yes.
16. cover.
He's always nervous with
Marge because he always has to remember to cover his tracks, and
maybe he does love her a little but it's nothing like loving Peter,
which is effortless.
17. promise.
He curls up in
Peter's lap, whispers "Do you love me promise you love me
promise" and sighs against the other man's lips.
18.
dream.
Tom wakes himself up screaming from the nightmares and
an instant later Peter is there, barefoot and sleep-disheveled and so
caring and concerned that the weight of Tom's secrets seem suddenly
heartbreakingly unbearable.
19. candle.
A candlelit
bath, shared: neither admits it, but they're both thinking of
Dickie.
2o. talent.
"You're the talented
one," Tom protests, taking his hands from the piano keys and
looking over at Peter, wondering "won't you play something, all
the songs I know by heart are too sad."
21.
silence.
Peter's quiet now, too quiet and the only
sound is the soft echoing of Tom's sobs.
22. journey.
Before, he was a virgin; now he stretches out at Peter's
side, aching and sated and wonderful and for the first time he
realizes that this must have been what he'd once wanted from Dickie
after all.
23. fire.
He carries the memory of that
accidental touch (like fire like electricity) and that peculiar
promise in the Englishman's smile with him, against the cold of
Meredith's tears and the overpowering fear of the future.
24.
strength.
"I wasn't strong enough to withstand his
indifference," Peter admits softly, "I worshipped him but
he never noticed," and for a moment it seems Tom might be about to
say something, but he just shifts closer, kisses Peter in the
darkness.
25. mask.
"Aren't you ever afraid, of
being who you are, don't you just hide it all behind a mask until
you get so used to hiding that you forget who you are underneath it,"
babbles Tom, searching Peter's eyes almost desperately for some
sort of understanding.
26. ice.
"You can't
possibly play with hands that cold, they're like ice," says Peter
with a shy smile; he takes Tom's hands and enfolds them in his own,
murmuring "there, isn't that better," and Tom blushes, nods
yes.
27. fall.
He'll love Athens in the
fall, thinks Peter; he doesn't realise it, but he's starting
to plan their life together.
28. forgotten.
Times
like this he can almost put what he's running from behind him;
everything else is suddenly forgotten, all that's left is the
warmth of Peter's skin against his own.
29. dance.
There's a party after the opera, of course; they're
dancing and Meredith asks him coolly "Can't you talk of anything
but Tom Ripley?"
3o. body.
The body splashes into
the endless Mediterranean and Tom is suddenly tempted to follow it
overboard.
31. sacred.
They're kissing in the
shadow of the cathedral -- an inappropriate thing to be done in such
a sacred place, perhaps, but they're imagining themselves too
overcome by love (lust) to care.
32. farewells.
The
weekend audition in Naples is looming ahead and Peter confesses that
there's something he hates about goodbyes; in the doorway Tom pouts
like Dickie, loosens the belt of his borrowed bathrobe and bravely
whispers "Then, stay."
33. world.
"There's
more to the world than Italy," Peter breathes, a whisper in Tom's
ear, "and nothing keeping us here, come with me, we'll see
Athens, we'll see everything."
34. formal.
He
sneaks a jumper out of Peter's wardrobe and there's something
comfortable about wearing it because it's soft and warn and warm,
comforting, nothing like those horrid pieces of Dickie's borrowed
formal finery.
35. fever.
"You're hysterical,
you're going to make yourself ill," he tells Marge, manuvering
her over to the sofa, reaching up to feel her forehead, whispering,
"don't think of Tom or Dickie or any of it, just rest your
eyes."
36. laugh.
He watches Meredith laughing
and the sudden incline of Tom's head and then they're kissing;
Peter's breath catches and he returns mechanically to their cabin,
feeling sullen and cold and something like heartbroken.
37.
lies.
"I love you," breathes Tom, and it's the first
honest thing he's said since leaving New York.
38.
forever.
He curls up on the empty bed (it still smells of
Peter) and realizes he really did love me forever.
39.
overwhelmed.
"Are you all-right," Peter murmurs
afterwards; Tom's crying because he's happy and guilty and
drained and overwhelmed and wonderful and he'd never really
realized that loving could be like this.
4o.
whisper.
There's nothing in the world like the feel of
Peter Smith-Kingsley's whisper; it gives Tom goosebumps, leaves him
warm and shivery all over.
41. wait.
Hours left to
wait, and all Peter can think of is the look on Tom's face when he
offered up the key.
42. talk.
He babbles in English
and waits as Peter translates it into smooth perfect Italian; it's
ironic really that the least-important lie (are you a homosexual)
is the one that bothers him the most.
43. search.
It's
Marge who alerts the police after the long suspect silence from a
once-dear friend; she's the first one they call when the fishermen
recover something suspicious and she hangs up the phone with shaking
hands thinking it's Tom Ripley to blame, I know it.
44.
hope.
Things will be different this time, he
thinks.
45. eclipse.
"Please, Peter, Please,"
Tom pleads, teary-eyed, curling up at his cold side, "Peter,
please, no," he sobs and it's worse than being ignored by
Dickie, worse than anything he's ever known, like the sun's
actually burnt itself out.
46. gravity.
It's like
being weightless, he thinks; he cries out and everything goes out of
focus and Peter's there, everywhere, loving him.
47.
highway.
"Marge always said America was boring," muses
Peter, "all highways and prairies; that must be why you don't
talk of America much either," and Tom just nods.
48.
unknown.
"He's a bit of a mystery," says Marge, "I
don't know a thing about him, but I do think you'd like him,
Peter, I really think you'd like him," and from the very
first mention of this enigmatic Mr Ripley, Peter is enthralled.
49.
lock.
"Don't forget," he murmurs, "I have the
key."
5o. breath.
And with his last breath he
chokes out "Tom!"