Chapter 4
Guilt
The girl didn't even have time to scream. I had felt my consciousness shift, and instinct had taken over. I stepped back from the corpse, and stared down at what had been my prey. Her eyes were clouded over, and her skin went through a few disgusting color changes before it finally turned to a bleak white, even paler than my icy skin. I picked it up effortlessly -it weighed no more than a leaf to my iron strength, and quickly hid the evidence. I sighed as I turned away from the invisible grave, and I felt amazingly remorseful. I remembered how warm she had been, and then the fear that had frozen on her expression. But, what did I - Alice, a perfect vampire - care for a pathetic human? I tried to push the anguish away, but it persisted, and I ran back to the white house to recuperate.
I perched precariously –to anyone but me- on the railing of the large white balcony extending from the bedroom adjacent to 'mine'. I watched the sun set, and twilight descend on the pale blue sky. It was quiet, and almost relaxing. I sighed, thinking of my visions. Questions flooded my mind again, and forced me to confront the emotions I was experiencing.
I bit my lip distractedly while I wondered. I was blatantly afraid and confused… no matter how hard I tried to lie to my-self. I was worried… mostly because I was unsure as to how I would go about learning about these visions - if that was what I ended up doing. I also knew that I was sad… for odd reasons. I was sad for Jasper and Maria… and I was disappointed that I knew so little about them. I was also sad for - or rather pitied - my deceased prey. The guilt felt like a vice clamping about my head. I closed my eyes, in a vain attempt to escape my troubled thoughts. It failed miserably.
As soon as my eyes were shut, I saw the fear-struck face of my latest victim, and Jasper's desperate burgundy eyes. My thoughts began to focus around those beautiful, melancholy eyes and I felt a familiar spark of pain erupt within me. Aw… Shit. I thought as a shiver ran down my spine, destroying my perfect balance on the rail, and I went crashing to the ground… two stories beneath me.
She barely noticed when she landed, only a dull impression of pain broke through her vision. She was hypnotized by the images overshadowing all else in her mind.
She saw herself, sitting dangerously high up in an oak tree, gazing up at the night sky. She sighed, and swung out of the tree. She landed on her feet; unscathed. Her expression was determined, and she took off running into to the North.
I felt a brief ache, and my vision shifted.
She was looking down on a trail that wound through the thick coniferous forest surrounding it. A tall, honey-blond man walked quickly –too quickly to be human- along the nearly smothered path. A crow cawed harshly, breaking the eerie silence. He looked up, and Alice knew those eyes...Jasper's eyes. Coal-black pupils were smothering those ruby red irises, but their change of color couldn't hide whom they belonged to. Those beautiful eyes screamed out their pain and depress-ion without saying a word.
Jasper closed his eyes, and sat down gracefully on an outcropping of rock slightly off the trail. He lay back, leaning on the ancient trunk of the tree behind him. He sighed, and rubbed his temples with his pale hands.
He began to murmur quietly, and his murmurs slowly grew to loud yells of rage.
"WHO IS SHE?" He roared, slamming his fist into the solid stone beneath him. It cracked, and when his hand moved a large chunk of granite fell to the loam with a thud. Jasper didn't even notice. "Someone pulled me away, tore me from the life I knew, and now I don't even know how to find her." He ranted; suddenly on his feet, pacing.
"I've been searching for her for weeks now… why can't I find her? What's wrong with me? Why is fate teasing me like this?" A ferocious snarl was ripped from his lips, and he suddenly took off running. The vision followed him while he practically flew between the impossibly thick pines with ease. The vegetation began to thin, and the sound of running water was quickly becoming audible.
Jasper nearly ripped his clothes off when he arrived at the wide river, there was a wide patch; deep enough for swim-ming. He dove over the broad current and into the calmest pool in with practiced ease. There was no sign that anything but the breeze had disturbed the calm water. He surfaced, and shook the frigid water out of his gorgeous ear-length hair. Then he was underwater again, and gliding through the clear water with unbelievably fast strokes. He finally emerged, min-utes later, and swam effortlessly through the current to the shore. He lay on the bank, allowing the afternoon sun to dry his extremely pale skin. The sun reflected off his skin, and he glowed. Literally glowed, his skin reflected the light like a diamond mosaic. His perfect musculature was exposed and he was in incredible shape; however Alice was beginning to ex-pect that was the norm for vampires. His feet dangled in the water, and the small smile on his faultless lips was oddly con-tent.
"Damn." Jasper muttered, raising his leg. He laughed when he saw the tiny leech feebly trying to attach itself to his ankle. "Good luck." He chuckled again, and carelessly flicked the parasite off. "How ironic…" He mused, still smiling. His grin slowly faded though, and was replaced by the expression of depression and longing that he seemed unable to escape.
He sighed and stood. He slowly (slowly for him) donned his ragged clothing and glanced in all directions. He stared blankly ahead, and followed the stream down-river. He was hunting again, but this time it wasn't for nourishment. He needed to find what he was looking for, and until then… his stunning crimson eyes would be filled with that desperate longing that haunted him.