Act V - Revelation (Part 1)

This is how I came to accept my feelings for you.

I don't believe in things like destiny. You know that I won't put my trust into some supposedly pre-determined future called fate. To believe in fate is to rely on the false hope that our lives have already been prophesized for us. Some time ago, I decided that I'm not going to sit back and let things unravel before me. I'm not that type of person.

Fate. It's foolish to depend on something like that.

But you sometimes make me wonder why. Why is it that I refuse to believe that everyone has a due course? Maybe it's because I want to live free of such restricting rules. By being independent, by being in control of my own life… am I really being strong? Or is there something that I've failed to acknowledge?

If there was such a thing as fate, or destiny, or whatever you want to call it – I realize – then you and I have different paths. Separate paths. Ones in which you'll be incapable of ever comprehending just who you are to me.

Is that why I choose not to believe in it?

The late-August sun felt pleasant against my face, spilling its softly vibrant rays on the undulating waves of seawater. It wasn't too hot that day: an occasional cooling breeze would sweep across the glittering surface of the beach. An untainted blue sky of sparse clouds met the horizon beyond the ocean, where two lone seagulls took flight among the summer winds. A beautiful, windy day.

It was the morning of Albert's fifteenth birthday.

Pushing my elbows off the white-painted balcony of our room, I turned away from the ocean. As I walked over to the beds, I realized my suspicions were true: he was still sleeping. Albert was never much of an early riser. He remained asleep in a mess of blankets and pillows, buried under the mountain that was his bed.

"Hey, wake up, Albert." I pulled a spare pillow off my own bed, smacking it down on Albert's half-covered forehead. "We've got to go meet Eugénie on the beach."

He must have been really tired, because he didn't even bother squirming in annoyance or shooting some sort of smart remark at me. He only protested with an apathetic groan, wiggling deeper into the piles of bed sheets. "Just give me five more minutes," he mumbled lazily.

"How much more rested can you get in five minutes?" I asked him, rather rhetorically. "Come on, let's not be late."

But Albert didn't seem too enthusiastic about the proposal. "Ugh… why do we have to wake up so early?"

"It's only seven o'clock," I told him, pointing towards his wristwatch that lay on the night table. Not that he'd look at it, though. He didn't even bother moving. "Okay, so it's six-thirty, but come on, get up already."

"But…" Albert mumbled into his pillow, "It's my birthday…"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

Should I do it? Ah well, with someone as lazy as him, I had no choice. I hoped he wouldn't get too mad at me for this…

I dropped the pillow that was clutched in my hands to the floor and grabbed onto the edge one of the sheets that Albert was tangled up in.

"Albert…" It was a little hard to restrain my mischievous smile. "Al…bert…"

Albert didn't really react much to the strange tone of my voice, just mumbling something incoherent about being sleepy. This was my chance.

"Get up!" I yelled, drawing my arms back to violently tug the sheet out from under him. I was about to laugh in triumph, to mock his unsightly downfall when he would crash painfully onto the floor.

But nothing happened

I realized that the sheet hadn't budged at all. The sluggish mound that was Albert hadn't moved. "Huh?"

A hand emerged from the sheets and firmly grasped my wrist, yanking me down to the bed. I was plummeted with pillows to the head.

"Thought you could trick me, did you?" He struck me again, laughing. I'd been defeated. "Yeah, right!"

"Albert!" Annoyed, I grabbed a nearby pillow, plunking it on Albert's forehead.

I guess somewhere in my mind came the thought that we were probably too old for this, but what did it matter? I wasn't going to let it end here.

Albert only laughed, myself along with him. He pummeled me with endless hits, cornering me on the bed as I wriggled to the nearest unclaimed weapon. Another pillow, that is. I pulled it off the mattress, and with a satisfying thunk, I brought him down with me.

"Too weak!" he exclaimed, rolling away as a defensive maneuver to evade my strikes. He was quite a resilient one.

"Ugh… Albert!" I was getting irritated, but in a lighthearted sort of way. He disappeared under the mass of blankets. I dove after him.

He shouldn't be too hard to catch, I assured myself. Searching through the bed sheets, I spontaneously grabbed a particularly protruding heap. "Gotcha!"

My hands closed around empty white cloth. "Damn it."

"Hah!" Albert ambushed me from behind, jumping onto my back and sending the two of us rolling to the other end of the bed.

We wrestled one another, attacking each other with pillows, laughing as we knotted ourselves in the sheets. I tried to push Albert over, panting as I struggled to break free from his grip. But he didn't let go. His hands clutched my shoulders, clumsily turning me over on the mattress to look up at him.

I stopped breathing. Suddenly, it didn't seem like a game anymore.

It appeared that Albert had realized something was different, too. His face was blushing a shade of deep pink, gasping to regain his breath. I couldn't help but notice that his arms were shaking.

Neither of us said anything.

I stared into his eyes, unable to break out of my daze. Nervously, Albert brought his hands down to close around my back. His touch was reluctant, uncertain.

I was ashamed to feel my heart beat faster as the space closed between the two of us. His unsteady exhales tickled the side of my mouth as he drew nearer. When his chest came down to press against mine, I shivered involuntarily.

Something inside me was tingling: I could feel my own breathing become heavier while I grew hot.

Oh, shit.

My hands were trembling. The idea of venturing Albert's slightly open mouth with my own didn't seem all that bad anymore.

Is this really okay?

But at the moment, it didn't seem to matter. I was hesitantly pulling myself up, slowly bringing my hands to his face. I met his face in my palms, stroking his flushed cheek delicately. The consuming aching that thrived within my stomach was unbearable.

His lips nearly brushed against my nose, quivering in tentative anticipation. I closed my eyes, gently bringing him closer to me as I leaned forward. I could taste his warm, wet breath on the tip of my tongue.

There was a knock at the door.

"Geez, you guys," an impatient voice called. "How long does it take you two to get ready?"

Albert immediately jumped up, dropping me onto the mattress and leaving me stunned and uncoordinated. "W-We'll be right there, Eugénie!" he called, straining to make his voice sound as casual as possible.

"You'd better be!" she warned us teasingly. "I had to wait out there for so long!"

"Uh, y-yeah…" I awkwardly pulled myself off of the bed. It was hard to think straight. "We'll meet you at the shore."

"Okay," she replied from the other side of the door. "See you in fifteen minutes."

And with that, she left.

As I walked over to the table to retrieve our beach towels, I kept thinking about how much worse it could have been if Eugénie had entered our room instead of knocking. She did have a key, after all, this being her summer villa. I kept blinking, as if to shake off the thought, but all it accomplished was making me look like an idiot.

Albert hadn't looked at me. He was standing by the bed awkwardly; staring at it as if it was alive. To give himself something to do, he started making his bed, throwing aside all the extra pillows onto an unoccupied chair.

And Albert never makes his bed.

I turned away, stuffing a bottle of suntan lotion into our bag. As I reached for my sandals, I noticed something. The ruffling of sheets had stopped.

"I… I'm going to go take a shower now," Albert told me rather casually, save for the fact that his eyes were elsewhere. Apparently, the wall was a lot more interesting than my face. "So you get our stuff ready, okay?"

"Yeah." My reply was emotionless.

I didn't bother telling him that I already had our belongings gathered up and ready to go. And even as he left our room with a towel in hand, I didn't bother telling him that there was no point in taking a shower, since we were going to go to the beach anyway.

It was hard enough looking at him.

As I listened to the sound of running water from two doors down, all I could think about was how his lips would have felt on mine.

He hadn't mentioned it since this morning. And in a way, although I might have been disappointed to some degree because he acted as if it never happened, I was mostly relieved he didn't bring it up.

"This cheese…" Albert began. He was eating the food I'd brought for our picnic off of a paper plate. Thoughtfully chewing it for a moment, he decided: "…tastes like sand."

"And you've eaten sand before?" I responded, with a rather half-hearted chuckle.

I leaned back on an elbow, stretching my legs out in front of me to bury my toes in the warm sand. It was late morning and the two of us were on our beach towel, just relaxing in the sun. I watched as the waves collided against the shore before pulling back again into the sea.

Albert didn't seem very amused with my accusation. But he didn't seem too bothered by it, either. Stifling a yawn, he shifted as he put down his plate to rest his hands behind him.

"Hey, Franz…"

"What is it?" I let the welcoming breeze tease by my face. For a summer day, it sure was mild.

"How do you feel about Valentine?" He scooped up a handful of sand and let it flow through his fingers. "You know, since she's your fiancée."

I blinked at him, my face vacant. Now that someone had brought it up, I realized I didn't think of her that much. Valentine was a kind girl: sweet, thoughtful, and maybe a little shy. I liked her, I guess, but as a friend. Why wasn't it anything more?

"I like her…" I replied, watching the clouds drift by. I was talking to myself more so than to Albert. "…as a friend."

He looked up at me thoughtfully. "You don't love her?"

It had been so many years ago, but the memory was still fresh. I remembered his kind smile to her as he held the melted droplet that was once a snowflake.

Yeah. But it's nice while it lasts, huh?

"Albert… to love someone…" I smiled knowingly at him. "It's sort of a troublesome thing."

After all, you only get hurt in the end, right?

"Hey!" Eugénie called to us from a little ways behind. "Franz! Albert!" She lifted a hand to wave at us, but as she did, a gust of air captured her pink sunhat, sailing it away from her reach.

This favorite hat of hers, the one she'd just gotten the year before, was already too far for us to pursue. It floated, windswept, over the vast ocean until it was only a tiny glimmer in the distance.

On a tepid May afternoon, the distinctive clanging of clashing metal had rung throughout the courtyard.

Albert's eyes were determined, glaring at me with undeclared intensity. He took another swing, slightly catching me off guard and nearly dealing a blow to my side. I defended frantically, holding my sword tightly by the hilt to block his attack.

When I saw an opening, I lunged forward, slashing the blade towards his torso. Albert seemed the least bit fazed: he held his weapon upright, successfully impeding my movements, his eyes alight with frustration.

I had missed again, even after trying to shake off any distractions. What was wrong with me today?

"Why?" Albert yelled firmly, taking jabs at my weak defense. "Why did you have to get so upset when I gave it to her?" His voice was spiteful; he was spitting out his words in distaste.

"What are you talking about?" I tried to hinder his movement, taking a few steps back and desperately knocking his advances away, but he was too fast.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!" he exclaimed, aggressively closing in on my inept movements. "After I gave her the hat!"

"I was upset?" I dubiously retorted, struggling to keep pace with his rapid technique. "What?"

Albert seemed to be even more angered. He crashed his sword against mine before yanking it away to deliver timely, consecutive blows. In my confused state of mind, I could barely recognize his actions in time to properly avoid them and respond with a counterattack.

Even so, it wasn't enough. He pushed me against the stone wall, defiantly pointing the tip of his blade to my face.

"You ignored me for days!" he shouted, inching the sword a few uncomfortable centimeters closer. His breath was ragged but resolute. "What did I do to deserve it?"

Albert, for someone skilled at combat, you can be so blind.

"You didn't do anything!" Taking the short amount of time in which Albert used to regain his stance, I sliced through the air to break free from his jurisdiction. Albert swiftly drew back, evading my sudden offensive explosion.

Ah, it's so much easier to fight when I'm angry.

I pummeled my best friend with continuous attacks, but he only greeted me with equal hostility. He took advantage of my messy onslaught of mindless movements: he cut into my posture and swerved the sword dangerously close to my eyes.

"Just say it!" He furiously hacked away at my attempts to secure him.

"What?" I incredulously yelled back, my own voice tinged with aggravation. "Say what?"

"That you hate me!" he cried out, bringing his blade against my own with a thundering clang. "And that's why you avoided me for so long!"

"What?" my incessant swings began to become few and far between.

"Stop pretending, Franz!" Albert's advances were becoming uncharacteristic of him, unrefined and all over the place. "If you hate me that much, just stop hanging around me!"

"Hate you?" I brought my sword down from in front of me, letting it dangle in my hand as I stared at my friend in disbelief. "Why would I hateyou?"

The image of that unsettling day still burned in my mind.

Fine, then! Don't ever come back!

I'd learned then, that things like hatred, resentment… such emotions are useless. They're unproductive. What's the point of having such feelings, if inevitably, they will only hurt the ones you love most?

Albert abruptly stopped, his hand trembling as he held his weapon at eye level. "Because… Franz, because you…"

"Albert…" I found my voice becoming gentle. "Albert, listen. Hate… hate is a consuming emotion."

Albert continued to stare at me, but his irritated expression began to lighten as his brows lifted.

"It eats at you, makes you go crazy. And if you hate… in the end, you'll regret having such feelings." I looked away, clutching my sword a little tighter. "I could never hate you."

"I'm sorry, Albert, if you thought I felt that way."

He had smiled sympathetically at me then, his eyes wavering with appreciation. "Franz…"

In a single, agile motion, I lifted my blade up and swerved it towards Albert, easily knocking his own sword out of his grasp. It fell to the stone-paved ground with a resounding clatter.

I grinned. "Your loss," I told him.

He stared at me blankly for a few seconds, before shaking his head with a compliant laugh. "Want to train again tomorrow?"

"Aw, come on, Eugénie." Albert pulled on her arm, urging her to get up. She refused to move. It was a shame, too – it was barely noon, the perfect time of day to be at the beach, and she was wasting her time by sitting around and being depressed.

"I'll buy you another one." he offered.

"No, it's not that…" her solemn voice trailed off, eyes lingering towards the ocean. Seagulls squawked overhead. "That one was special."

I let out an exasperated sigh, turning away. "Girls and their special belongings. I'll just never get it."

"Franz!" Albert shot me an annoyed look. I looked back at the two of them through casual a sideways glace, shrugging.

Looking over to our picnic site, I saw the cooler that Eugénie had brought over earlier. Struck with a sudden spontaneous idea, I walked over to it.

Hmm, the ice should be melted by now.

Meanwhile, Albert was trying to comfort his sulking friend. "Let's go swimming, okay? Since we came all the way here, it would be a waste if we didn't."

But Eugénie was uninterested. "No, I'm all right Albert… you two go without me." She smiled. "I'll just stay – "

"Ahhh!" Eugénie shrieked in surprise as she was flooded in a shower of chillingly numb ice water. "Franz!"

She pushed herself off her feet and chased after me, yelling expletives when I only laughed. Albert ran after the both of us, trying – quite unsuccessfully – to calm us down.

The three of us stumbled and tripped into the ocean, yelling as we splashed water in each other's faces, falling on top of one another when the waves crashed down. We continued like this for hours, laughing together as the lucid azure horizon gradually blended into a deep shade of orange.

Somewhere along the way, amidst the shouts and sloshing water and cheese that tasted like sand, I realized that this day was going to be a memorable one.