She didn't come to practice, which was odd. After yesterday's practice, she seemed excited to spend as much time as she could with her new bow. Legolas packed up the gear and handed it to a servant to store for another day. He walked through the convoluted halls of Rivendell, looking for the girl, and finally saw her in the library. She was hunched over some books with a scowl on her face.
"You did not come to practice," Legolas said quietly, trying to sound stern but understanding at the same time.
"I have better things to do," she mumbled coldly as she continued to look at a book.
Legolas felt he was punched in the gut unawares. How could six words from a child make him feel so small?
"If that is the case, perhaps I should leave. Go back to Mirkwood and never return," Legolas retorted a bit louder than he intended to. Some of the other elves looked up from their reading to watch the quarreling pair.
Kari slammed her book closed, gathered it quickly in her arms and walked out of the library. "Do whatever you want, you've already ruined everything," she said as she passed him.
Legolas watched Kari walk quickly out of the library and stood there in amazement. No one had ever run out on him before and no one had accused him of ruining something. If anything, he would be the one doing the leaving and accusations. Well, he would not let her just storm off like that. He exited the library, listened carefully for her quick, short strides, and followed them to another hallway.
"Kari, stop," Legolas said.
She didn't stop.
"Kari!"
She spun around and glared at him. "What do you want, Legolas?"
"Why are you acting like this? You've never acted like such a spoiled child before," he said.
She only glared at him harder. "Spoiled child? You know nothing about the things I have to go through."
"Then enlighten me, Kari, instead of making these accusations and then walking away," Legolas replied as he advanced toward her.
"I failed the test. The one to become a Healer's apprentice. The one that I should have been working on, but I instead played with your flashy gift," Kari spat out.
Now Legolas knew why she was so upset. Becoming a Healer was important to her, he knew this. This sort of setback, especially when she never was really exposed this sort of adversity before, must have been difficult for her. She was so used to doing well.
"I am sorry, I thought that the time away from studying would help in the end," Legolas said. "Will you be able to take the test again?"
"In six month's time."
"That is a relief. At least you have a second chance," he pointed out.
"How can you call that relief? That's another six months that I am in Lord Elrond's debt!" she exclaimed.
Debt? She was not in Elrond's debt. He was her guardian. He was responsible for her well-being.
"You are in no one's debt, Kari," Legolas said.
"Of course I am. I've been living in Rivendell all my life, but I have not done anything. When I become a Healer, I will finally begin to repay what Lord Elrond has done for me."
"Being a Healer is a noble thing, but you should be it because you want to be, not because you feel indebted to your guardian," Legolas said.
Kari sighed, leaned her back again a wall of the corridor, and eventually slid down to sit on the floor. Legolas sat down next to her. She still clutched the book.
"But I want to make him happy. And I hate how other students in the classes look at me as though I do not belong because I am too young or because I am in Lord Elrond's favor. They think I cannot understand things. Failing that test just proved them right," she said, finally dropping the book beside her and wiping her sweaty palms on her pants.
"You understand much more than you give yourself credit for. But you are a child. You should be enjoying each day. But instead you work and study. Perhaps failing the test will give you a different perspective. Perhaps you can find something like you like to do instead of something that you think you should do," Legolas said.
"I like Healing. I know that at least. I don't like failing," she said.
Legolas chuckled lightly. "No one does. Yet everyone does it at some point or another."
"When have you failed?" Kari asked skeptically. Legolas may have been many things, but she never thought of him as a failure.
His eyes darkened momentarily before returning to their usual lighthearted shine. "I have missed the targets in practice occasionally," he said, shielding himself when she huffed and slapped his arm in annoyance. He could not tell her his worst failure, for that involved Virania and how he let her into his heart, only to be nearly destroyed by it. It was a failure to see the obvious, and it was not something a young girl needed to know about.
"So what is to happen now?" Legolas asked.
Kari shrugged. "I have to tell Lord Elrond about my test. He'll be so disappointed me in," she said quietly, dread evident in her voice. She got up off the floor and began to walk the route that would talk her to Lord Elrond's chambers. She turned around to address Legolas once more, "I'm sorry. It was not your fault and I do not want you to leave. When you do leave, I'll…it will not be a happy day."
Legolas smiled slightly. "I should have waited until today to give you the gift. That way it would not have served as a distraction. I am sorry for that."
Kari nodded before turning around once more and walking away. Legolas looked down beside him and saw that Kari had forgotten the book, but she was already around the corner. He would take it to her later.
The sound of Kari's footsteps down the hall matched her mood – flat. She ran through various ways to approach her failure to her guardian, but each hypothetical circumstance seemed worse than the next. Her relationship with Lord Elrond was rather formal. He would inquire about her studies and training about once a week, and when he had the time, they would dine together. On all other occasions she would eat with the servants in the kitchen who were rather indifferent to her, or she would eat with Legolas or Arwen when they were not preoccupied. He was not really affectionate to her as he was to Arwen, but he would smile with pride when she told him about how her skills were improving. Needless to say, she would not enjoy telling him her news.
The door to his study opened before she knocked. A servant gestured for her to enter and she did.
"Hello, Kari," Lord Elrond said warmly. He stood in front of an open window where light from the sunset came in, giving him a rather radiant light orange glow.
"Lord Elrond," Kari replied, bowing her head.
"How are you?" he asked.
"My Lord, I have bad news to bring to you. You will be angry with me," Kari replied. She could not look at him. Instead she focused her attention on the floor in front of his feet.
"What is it?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting as he continued to watch his charge fidget in front of him.
"My Lord, I failed the test to become an apprentice to a Healer. I will not have another chance to take the test for six months. I am sorry," she said quietly.
"Why did you fail? Was it too difficult?" he asked, quite surprised.
"No, My Lord, not really. I received a new bow and I wanted to use it. I spent too much time the night before practicing with it and I rushed through my test because I was tired."
There was a long pause, and Kari wished that she was brave enough to look at her guardian to see if she could guess what he was thinking, but she was too afraid and ashamed. Finally, Lord Elrond spoke.
"I am disappointed, Kari," he began.
Kari knew he would be, but hearing the words come from his lips made her almost cry. She never wanted to disappoint him, or anyone for that matter.
"I always saw you as so responsible. But perhaps I have expected too much of you. I know I expect more from you than I would from others in similar situations. I think I have been unfair to you," Elrond explained.
"How so, My Lord?" Kari asked.
"I ask you to be like an adult, when you are still a child. You work so hard, too hard. Perhaps take some time away from your studies during these next six months and then approach the test refreshed."
"I'm sorry that I disappointed you," Kari said softly.
Lord Elrond smiled at the girl, even though she could not see with her head down. He knelt down so that he was at her eye level and raised her chin gently so she would look at his eyes. She wasn't crying but it seemed like she could at any moment.
"I am not disappointed in you, my dear. You have proven yourself time and again. I am just disappointed in the situation because I know you could have done better. You know you could have done better. But this is a good lesson to learn, a lesson that cannot be taught in a class. You mustn't push yourself to the brink and put so much pressure on yourself," Lord Elrond said.
"I just…I just want to help here. I do nothing, I just seem to be here," Kari said, frustration evident in her voice.
"You contribute more than you think. If it were not for your presence, I doubt Legolas would be the person he is today. And you have brightened my life, never doubt that," Lord Elrond said.
Kari blushed. She did not understand Lord Elrond's comment about Legolas, but she enjoyed hearing her guardian's praise.
"Now, shall we go to dinner?" Lord Elrond asked.
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! Does anyone know how to make some sort of page break appear in the text? In the last chapter, the first section takes place when Kari is 9 and the second part takes place when she is 12, but without a page break, it is confusing. Also, thanks for the stirrups thing, I've changed it to reins.
Now, addressing some issues raised in the reviews: "Kari" is not supposed to be an Elvin name. Her mother was a mortal woman and named her. My dialogue is more modern, but I do the best I can. I don't remember reading that being a Healer and a fighter were mutually exclusive, so in my story I treat them as compatible. I also do not remember reading that a half mortal/half elf would have half the maturity of a comparably aged mortal, so that is not part of my story. I must warn everyone, like I did in the beginning of the story, that I am not a Tolkien expert. And I do not expect my story to satisfy the Tolkien experts. But I thank you for all the support, and please review if you have the chance. Thanks!