Disclaimer: I yet again do not own any of the Final Fantasy, other game, or anime characters. And yet again those that I do own will be posted with each chapter that they appear in.
Characters I/my friends own:
Chi me
Hotaru
Jaheira
Guard Dog a.k.a. Zero
Chapter 2
"Hey Hotaru, which way is home again?" Chi asked looking around the Nibel Mountains.
"I don't know. Let's just walk around randomly. We'll eventually get there." Hotaru said.
Two hours later.
"Are we there yet?" Chi asked rubbing her feet.
"Umm…."
"There you guys are!" Cloud came running up and Chi and Hotaru jumped him.
"Brother!" they screamed.
He smiled and patted their heads. "Mom sent me to get you, you're WAY late."
"Big Brudder" Chi and Hotaru chirped. "Can we go the reactor?"
"Uh, well…." Cloud rubbed his head.
"Pwease!"
"I wanna go! I wanna go! I wanna go!" Hotaru whined giving a puppy eyed face.
"Urg…."
"If you don't take us then we'll tell Disney about….that… you know what…. Hee hee." Hotaru and Chi gave an evil laugh. "Ha…haha…hahaha…hahahahahaha…"
Kuja randomly appeared. "You called!"
"Yay! Uncle Kuja!" the girls screamed running up and squeezing him to death.
Cloud grabbed his head. "NO UNCLE KUJA!"
Far off in the distance Disney's voice was heard. "No, it's Kuja! I'm going to a spa!"
A random voice begged with Disney. "TAKE ME WITH YOU! HAVE MERCY!"
Kuja, Hotaru, and Chi all looked at Cloud with big watery eyes. "PWEASE!"
Hotaru pulled out a random white envelope. "We'll give you a picture of daddy."
"Um……" Cloud could barely resist snatching the photo. "I… already got one. Besides, the last one you guys gave me was just of daddy's hand shaking Barret's hand. It was pathetic."
"But… but….."
"You know, this reminds of that one time when I was a babe…" Kuja randomly sprouted into poetry.
"STORY, STORY, STORY!"
"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!" Cloud shouted looking down at the five year old Sora. He carried his little plastic Barbie backpack on his shoulder like a purse. "Daddy shopped for you didn't he, Sora?"
Sora nodded enthusiastically. "Yup, I got a stuffed goosey!" He showed Donald and Goofy the toy goose.
"… and then the rider came and the princess…" Kuja was continuing his poetry.
Cloud glanced at the photos, Sora, Kuja, and the fugly goose. "OKAY! I'll take you, but we gotta leave the goose behind."
Sora got all serious as he fished through his bag. "No goose gets left behind!" He tried to be dramatic like Cloud while stuffing his pink Barbie army helmet onto his head.
Cloud rolled his eyes. "Come on."
"YAY!"
30 minutes later.
"Big Brudder, our feet hurt!"
"Waaaah" Sora cried. "I got a rock in my shoe!" He showed Cloud his little pink army boots.
"Waaaaaaaaaah!" Kuja cried like Sora, only longer and more dramatically. "My love, my poetry, it has left me!" Kuja fainted like a woman and fell on Chi and Hotaru.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Hotaru and Chi cried. "Uncle Kuja squisheded our tails!"
Chi and Hotaru ran around holding their tails and bawling. Goofy and Donald got in their way and were pushed off the mountainside.
"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..." Donald took a breath, "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccck. GOOSE!" Donald landed with a splat, Goofy landed on top of him.
Sora frowned. "Why don't I have a tail? It's not FAIR! Everyone has a tail 'cept for me! I want a pink one! It'll match my boots!"
Cloud grabbed his head. "I'm confused."
Sora ran around in circles his mind randomly switching from one thing to the next. "Swifer no swiping! Swifer no swiping! Swifer no swiping!" Hotaru and Chi sniggered picturing Seifer wearing just a robber's mask. "… teletubies, teletubies, say hell-o… Barney was a dinosaur from our imaginations, do do do dododo… my little pony, my little pony, do, do, do, do, dododo, my little pony, my little pony, we'll always be in your heart." Everybody stared at Sora, amazed that he could remember any part of a song. Donald and Goofy staggered back onto the cliff. "Call upon the sea ponies when you're in distress. Call on just me ponies, merely signal sos… Go, go PowerRangers! Do, do, do, dodo. Digimon, digital monsters, digimon are the champions! Winnie-the-pooh, Winnie-the-pooh, silly willy little old beary airy… I wanna be, the very best, like no one ever was! Do, do, dodo. To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause. Do, do, DO! I will travel across the land, searching far and wide." Sora dramatically swung his head from side to side. "Do, do, do, DO! Each pokémon to understand the power that's inside. POKÉMON! Gotta catch 'em all! Our hearts so true/ our courage will lead us through, you teach me and I'll teach you. POKÉMON! Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta catch 'em all! POKÉMON!" Sora finished, threw his arm up, punched
Donald, making him fall off the cliff again, and took his bow. Pokemon was the only song that Sora knew all the words to.
Everyone clapped, then returned to their chaos.
"Waaaaaaaaaaah! Our tails!"
"I want a tail!"
"My poetry!"
"My head!"
"My back!"
"Hu-yuck, my duck!"
"Yay a rhyme! Poetry, hath RETURNED! HA…HAHA…HAHAHA…HAHA!"
10 minutes later all is calm again.
"Oh, my head," Cloud rubbed his head.
"Are we there yet?" Kuja whined.
"You know you didn't have to come Kuja." Donald said flatly.
"Who…said…. that?" Kuja did a dramatic arm movement sending Donald flying again. "And you know that you can…………."
"Fllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. GOOSE!" Donald hit with another splat.
"Hey Cloud…" Chi started.
"What's that?" Hotaru finished pointing to a tall building ahead of them.
Cloud glanced at it. "Why that's just the Nibelheim Reactor, nothing important there." He froze and gave the two an evil glare. "Why didn't you say something earlier!"
"Heh, heh, ZACK!" They screamed hiding behind Kuja who was off on another poetry spurt.
"Come on!" Cloud said pulling them along.
"Bridge!" Sora whined when they got there.
"Alright, someone has to cross it first." Cloud said and everyone looked at the fugly goose.
"No Way!" Donald spat. "swtch." Donald did his usual spitting noise that he does when he's angry.
"Hee, hee." Hotaru gave an evil laugh as she threw a bread crumb out onto the bridge.
Donald went crazy and bolted for the bread. The bridge broke and he fell once again.
"Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnk! GOOSE!" Splat.
"Heh, heh. Works everytime." Hotaru stated.
Cloud shook his head. "Looks like we'll have to go the long way."
"No! Uncle Kuja can fly us over!"
Cloud eyed Kuja. "Alright, take Goofy first."
Kuja picked up Goofy and half way through the flight yelled something dramatically throwing out his arm causing him to drop Goofy.
"… and the handsome prince…. And fugly goose… and klad…"
Cloud glared at him. "He'd better not be talking about me."
"Klad, Klad, Klad…" Chi and Hotaru chanted as they ran circles around Cloud.
Sora peered over the edge. "My doggy! My goose!"
"DUCK! OH KRAD! GOOSE!" Splat.
Goofy looked up at Sora. "Hiya Sora, that didn't hurt at all. Donald, Donald, where are you!"
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNK!"
Everyone looked around.
"Hm…" Cloud pondered. "Wonder what that is?"
"Maybe it's a broken car alarm." Kuja stated floating back over. "I know, I'll make an ode it's an ode to car alarms!"
"Doggy!" Sora cried.
"Hey, looky what I found!" Hotaru screamed, "Materia!"
"Woot! Valefore!" Chi screamed.
"BIRDY!"
"DOOOOOGGGGGYYYY!" Sora still cried, looking over the edge of the cliff. "I can become birdy and save you myself!" Sora screamed grabbing his little pink cape. "I'm coming Doggy!"
"No!" Cloud screamed running for him and tripping over Kuja in the process.
"…and the horn beeped…" Kuja was playing his little bongo sitting cross legged in the dirt. "Yes, that little horn beeped and beeped…"
"HOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNK!" Everybody looked around again.
"SORA!" Hotaru and Chi grabbed Sora's backpack swinging him back onto the cliff safely, but they tripped over their tales and went flying themselves.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…" they gasped for breath. "…HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… Geeze Older Big Brudder is taking a long time… HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Cloud looked at his watch, which was broken. "Any time now."
"HHHHHHHHHH…H…H…"
Kuja banged his bongos. "And now… a young man… a valiant young man… comes running… galloping… sprinting… falling off cliffs… searching… finding… running somemore… oh the valiant young man… clad in… black leather… beautiful black leather… oh wait… he's pulling off… and he's… oh my goddess… he's…"Riku randomly ran by screaming 'It's not fair!' "and he's back on the road… on the road again… the valiant young man… is on the road again… hit the road man… and won't you go pee some more some more some more some more… hit the road man… and … no don't trip on me… ow man… and don't you come back no more no more no more no more… look at your tight pants… and jump like a frog… oh yeaaaaaaahhh."
"…H………………H…………………………………………….H…."
"You two okay?" The man grabbed the two buy the tails.
Kuja played the Final Fantasy victory music on his bongos. "Dodododo do do dododo." The man swung the girls around and threw them over his shoulder as he always did with his weapon.
"ITAI!" Hotaru and Chi screamed kissing their tails.
"…" The man just stared at them.
"Sooo, what's up Squall?" Cloud said coming up and patting him on the back as Kuja randomly chanted Squall to the beat of the bongo.
"Squall… Val…en…tine…"
Cloud looked at Kuja. "But Valentine wasn't his gamps, fugly was."
"Heh…heh…" Kuja picked up his bongo and ran away. "I am taking my leave, I shall exit stage RIGHT!" Kuja pranced into a cliff wall. "Heh, heh, maybe it's stage left." Kuja pranced off. "Kuja, away!"
"It's dinner time." Squall said looking back at where Nibelheim lay.
Cloud helped Squall round up the group and get them going in the right direction. Squall led the way and Cloud brought up the rear. Squall looked around quizzically counting heads.
Hotaru read his mind. "Donald and Goofy aren't here."
"Yeah," Sora smiled. "Doggy went down the hole."
He pointed to where they fell. Squall looked down. Goofy was sitting there looking for Donald who was underneath him. Squall slid down the cliff and helped them back up. Donald looked a little worse for wear. Squall took his place back in front and they continued on their way.
"So, what's for dinner Squall?" Hotaru asked, her tail curling with delight.
Squall ignored her, paying attention to the pathway ahead. His own tail swung back and forth. Hotaru 'hmphed' and crossed her arms as Chi stormed up behind Squall. Chi's tail twitched with anger.
"Don't ignore us Squally!" Chi said yanking on his tail.
He gave a yelp and replied that he didn't know what dinner was going to be. No one said anything the rest of the way home. That is except for Sora who kept humming 'Simple and Clean' while he played with his little Sora, Riku, and Kairi dolls. As they approached Nibelheim Hotaru and Chi ran off in to the Shinra mansion and into their room. Sora trotted behind them and tripped over his untied, pink shoelaces. Squall mumbled something about needing a new book and wandered off into town. Cloud picked up a crying Sora and walked on into the yard, Donald and Goofy in tow. As Squall passed the mansion's gate the guard dog barked. Cloud yelled at him to shut him up, it worked. The dog was just a big sissy. An evil smile formed on Squall's face as his tail curled and his steps got lighter. The dog whined and returned to his doggy house. Cloud set Sora safely inside the mansion before retreating to his room to play Ape Escape. He passed Hotaru and Chi's room in the hall and over heard their conversation which involved their plans for playing a prank on Squall at school. Cloud smiled and walked on. Cloud sneezed a funny odor was hanging in the air.
A thumping sounded as their maid ran down the halls. "Oh no, the kitchen's on fire! Disney'll have my head!"
"You caught it on fire again Zack?" Cloud sighed looking at the slightly burnt Zack in his maid uniform. "Don't you have any Shiva materia on you?" Zack shook his head while he searched the pockets of his used to be white apron and typical maids dress. "Well I've only got Bahamut and Neo-Bahamut," Cloud said checking his own pockets.
"They won't do us any good." Zack thought for a moment. "Hey, what about Hotaru and Chi! They can do magic, right?"
Cloud snorted. "Well so can Sora." The two sniggered as they heard a thump emanate from the front yard. "Looks like Hotaru and Chi persuaded Sora that jumping off the roof was a good idea again, Disney won't like that."
The fire alarm sounded bringing them back to the emergency at hand. "So what about Hotaru and Chi?"
"We can try it." Cloud mumbled as he knocked on their door.
There was a scraping of wood against wood as papers were jammed back into drawers and a shuffling of feet.
"Yeah, what do you want?" Came Hotaru's voice through the door, her glowing green eye peeped out the key hole.
"We are in need of assistance."
Chi's voice became audible. "What do they mean by that?"
"I don't know." Hotaru said. "Too big of words."
"We need help!" Zack cried as smoke started to billow out of the kitchen.
"ZACK!" the door flew open and the girls smothered Zack.
"..the…kitchen…casserole…burning…can't…breathe…"
"Never fear the twins are here!" Hotaru said grabbing her sword and throwing Chi her staff. Her throw was a little off and it poked Chi in the eye. "ITAI! MY EYE!"
The twin gene had kicked in and though it was Chi that got hurt it was Hotaru that felt the pain.
Chi laughed and Hotaru poked herself in the eye. "ITAI!"
"Grrrrrrr…" they growled at each other.
"Girls, the kitchen… Disney'll be back anytime from work and…"
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN!"
"Too late," Cloud gave a weak laugh and darted off to his room, locking the door. Hotaru and Chi did the same.
"ZACK!"
"Coming Disney… why me?"
Disney, guess who, was standing in her now ruined kitchen holding a frying pan. "What did you do!"
Zack twiddled his thumbs staring at the ground. "You see I was just making a casserole dinner and I got side tracked by the… the… the Weis Kreuz show and…"
"Whoa, wait a minute." Disney put her hands on her hips. "You were actually making dinner?"
"Uh huh…, I just thought you could use a little break, and…"
"Oh Zack, you're so thoughtful." Disney smiled. "If only my ex were more like you and less like himself."
"Aw come on, you can't dislike him THAT much." Zack crossed his arms. "I mean you did have Squall, Hotaru and Chi, and Sora with him and not to mention taking both me and Cloud under your wing like your very own."
Disney stared at him coldly and Zack ran off saying something like he thought the toilet was on fire. The door slammed and Sora came running in screaming. Squall followed close behind, chasing after Sora.
Squall caught Sora with ease. "How many times do I have to tell you! You don't jump off the roof of the house or throw water balloons at people on the street!"
Sora pouted. "But I like jumping off the roof, it's fun, and how was I supposed to know that you were the one that I was throwing at, everyone looks the same around here."
(Yeah right.) Squall thought as he said hi to Disney and gathered his sopping new book up and walked off to his room.
"Sora, didn't I tell you not to listen to Hotaru and Chi when they tell you to do something?" Disney asked being as gentle as she could be. Sora shook his head. "Then promise me you'll be good until tomorrow."
She sent Sora on his way. That's when she heard the strange footsteps and large shadow coming towards the house. She grabbed the frying pan that she had set down after Zack had left and slithered over to the door. Slowly she raised her frying pan. The door opened and…
End of Chapter 2
Hotaru: O.O Suspensefull!
Chi: smiles I know.
Jaheira: How can they be mine! Oh well, you best get on to the other chapter Chi.
Chi: Okay! She pumps her arm. Hotaru sends her a maniacal look. They look at Jaheira.
Chi and Hotaru: Mommy! Jaheira groans as they hug her
Chi: Wow that was a long chapter. Sorry about all the capital "yelling" letters. To explain it all, Hotaru and I were VERY hyper when we wrote it. Oh, and Donald is really a goose, that's why he honks, and the line where Squall said fugly was his gramps, fugly Hojo.