Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy:
Adventures of a Demented Boy
Why Must Gran Always Pinch My Cheeks?
June 23:
Today we went to visit Gran, my mother's mother. Every week it's the same thing.
My mother wrestles me into the carriage which includes her dragging me from the house kicking and screaming since the tender adorable age of three when I was old enough to realize and understand where exactly she's taking me.
She magically binds me to the carriage seat and I scowl at her the whole way there and she says: "You can look at me that way all you want. You're coming to visit your Gran."
Then I call Gran a perverted old lady and mother pretends not to hear.
We arrive at Gran's and I try to make a run for it so mother keeps me on an invisible leash.
Gran answers the door and the very awkward greeting takes place…
So yes. Gran threw the door open her pearly white dentures revealed in a wide scary clown smile. After a while I just stopped smiling back. She doesn't feel the ever so obvious contempt oozing out of every pore on my body. And if you glare at her openly she doesn't even notice.
Anyway. She greeted me first pulling me into her arms. I stiffened up hoping this would be over quick. She planted a big wet one on my mouth then her hands wandered below my waistline and she gave both cheeks a tweak…
Really is it necessary for her to do that every time?
Right, so we got to visiting, meaning I sat there stuffing my face with little jelly cookies and my grandma went off about how much of a fuck up my father was.
"Cissy, that man knew his sexual orientation before he even met you! I always knew he was too pretty to be straight. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if this one here is batting for the same team as his father!"
That crazy bitter old bat! I most certainly do NOT ride the rainbow of love! Just because I have bitching good looks and a considerable amount of male friends does NOT mean I am a fruitcake! And even if I were a fruitcake, I'd be a delectable one.
"It seems everybody's experimenting these days," she went on to say. "Honestly you would've been better off marrying Arthur Weasley. He's from a perfectly respectable pureblooded family, although I never fancied red hair in our genetic pool. And that James Potter was much too wild for you."
I must admit I was quite disturbed to hear my Gran say that. Weasley and Potter? She has to give my mother more credit than that.
"And maybe if you would've married some one else your son wouldn't be gay!" she said shooting a nasty look.
So that's it is it? She thinks I'm gay because I don't like to have my cheeks pinched by her every time I see her. And not just once but twice? I swear! That woman calls me gay every time I visit her. I'm too pretty to be straight.
If only Gran knew what I did with my female guests when my mother's back was turned. But neither of them will ever know that.
So, two spiked cups of English Tea later we were leaving. Thank God for small favors. I gave Gran a hug and of course she pinched my cheeks. And not the ones that one would usually think off. But Gran gives me sweets so visiting her isn't a complete waste of time. Even though it does make me gain extra unnecessary weight and that I could do without. Don't need to be returning to school chubby would we. Then I'd be a fat boy just like that Longbottom kid. I wonder if he's slimmed down over the years? It would seem probable although I don't think anybody notices him anyway. Poor bloke. How can you go through life without having a small following of people that worship you?
A/N: Hmmm. Still don't know if I'm going to go on with this story. Again we'll see. Thank you to my two very nice reviewers. I'm glad you liked it enough to review.