A/N: First off I'd like to say, thank you to all of the great reviews that were submitted to this story. It's much appreciated, and truthfully I really didn't expect this story get that many reviews so yes. Here is another update. Hope you enjoy it! And I know it is different from all the rest but perhaps you'll like it just as much:D
The Chambers Of Narcissa's Heart:
The Emptiness a Betrayal Brings
July 1st:
I've lost myself to the depths of my thoughts. Draco is gone with his father this week. Although Lucius has wounded me deeply, I do not think it just to separate him from our son. I do not know what I shall do with my king no longer by my side. I suppose it is safe to say an empire has fallen; come crashing down upon Draco's sixteenth birthday. I cried myself to sleep that night. The first night I've really truly been alone in years.
My bitter tears have come steadily since, and I've found myself cursing Lucius for what he's done. No words were spoken when he came up to the door of Malfoy Manor. Right now he has chosen to keep away from our home, seeing as we have several others he can stay at.
I knew our marriage lacked passion for the last few years. It's been nothing like when we were newly weds. I guess in time things must change. I never knew that the pain would be this great… Lucius was and is the love of my life. What am I going to do without him? Does he even care that he's managed to tie me into knots and cast me aside like I'm useless?
I feel that there is something missing. Something must be said for what I discovered so inappropriately in our own bedroom. I have to know if this has been going on long. And poor Draco. He must be in pain to know that his parents may be reaching the end of their life together. I know that some relationships run their course but what of ours? Must it end this way? Is there such a thing as fate when it comes to relationships? Is there a set date when God cuts a thread and says, "That's it. It's time to move on to the next chapter of your life…" And have I been clinging to something that just is not meant to be?
Then there is the family. If we choose to separate, it will be a disgrace to our pureblooded relatives. After all, marriage is forever. When Lucius and I sealed the deal that we would be united as one soul for the rest of our lives, it was written in stone… There's a good chance we will both be disowned. Lucius especially for his disorderly conduct. If it is ever discovered. I am not a vengeful woman though, so if the people find out about his relations with Severus, it will not have escaped from my lips.
When I was a girl, I used to think it was ridiculous to promise someone you'd feel the same way forever and all you had to show for it was a wedding band. That is like signing over your life in one quick kiss. But in time I grew to realize that it was something sacred; something to be cherished. And I learnt that we have more than just a wedding band. We have our beautiful son, Draco. When he was born, Lucius and I were so proud.
I had been told that I couldn't have children at the age of twenty. Well, more that it would be very hard for me to conceive. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and the healers told me often times, you become infertile. In the beginning it's because I'd been having horrible menstrual cramps. I'd gone in to see if they could give me a potion to kill the pain. So, when Draco came along, it was a surprise to everyone.
When I first found out I was scared to tell Lucius. I had fears the he would leave me because I couldn't give him an heir, but it never came to that. Shortly after I told him that I might be infertile, I discovered I was pregnant.
I guess the fact that I had something else to focus on (Draco), other than our marriage a barricade was placed to shield me from our dying relationship. I feel this is not salvageable…
A/N: This is a slight change from the first two journal entries I've posted. Truthfully, I don't really know where this is going, and that's why there seems to be no real story, for those of you that asked. Anyways, if you like, update. Because I love to hear what you think… Well read. I think next update will be from Draco's point of view again.