A/N: Thanks for the reviews for those of you who took the time. Here is another chapter for you!

Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy:

The Adventures of a Demented Boy

The Mysteries of a Woman's Scorn: Bubble Gum Flavored Kisses

July 4:

I just had the most uncomfortable run-in with Pansy Parkinson today in Diagon Alley.

Seeing as I have just returned to the Malfoy Manor with my mother, I am extremely relieved… I don't think I will be visiting father for quite some time until he gets his act together. Plus I saw his bare arse way too many times for comfort. So, on with it!

I entered Flourish and Blotts for a bit of light reading. Yes, that's right. I, Draco Malfoy like to read. You never would've guessed that would you? It's because I'm blonde isn't it?

Anyway, she got a job there. Fancy that! A girl like Pansy not becoming a stripper. Truthfully, I wasn't at all disappointed she picked a different profession, seeing as she's not exactly thin…

So, I was paying for my books and she was all:

"Draco!" Only it wasn't the happy kind of tone I like to hear come out of the honeys when I walk by. Oh nooooo. Her face was all red and blotchy and being as startled as I was, I jumped, dropping my book of dark magic. Damn her!

Apparently she was upset because I hadn't called her all summer. Can you believe that? Pfft. I don't believe in calling girls. Because that's like trapping yourself like a wild animal to be tortured by the non-stop flow of nonsense.

At first I didn't know what she was on about, really. She was just all, "Draco Lucifer Malfoy! I am so angry at you!"

And of course me being the dumb blonde I am said, "Why? I haven't talked to you at all this summer for you to be mad at me!"

And then she threw a pair of scissors at me shrieking madly and I ducked. "YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW!"

Ah yes, the key term. See ladies, us males, to put it bluntly, are oblivious to what you may be feeling. So when you are about to tell your boyfriend, "You should already know." Rethink it, because he most likely doesn't have a clue as to what you're going on about. So spell it out just to save yourselves and your men a looooot of trouble.

"What the hell is the matter with you, you cunt? I haven't done anything to you!" I had cried. We were making quite a scene.

"That's just it, Draco," she said deathly quiet. "You haven't done anything to me all summer," she growled. My eyes widened and I turned around to make sure my mother wasn't around to hear that. But she was and I slapped my forehead. Damn Pansy Parkinson, damn her to HELL!

"You," I hissed, pointing at her threateningly. "Now you've gone and done it you fat little Twinkie!"

Of course if she really were that fat, I never would have slept with her.

"You shallow bastard!" she spat back. And then our eyes met and we lunged for each other at the same time, our lips clamping together in a very slobbery bubble gum flavored kiss. It was then that my mother put my invisible leash around my neck and dragged me from the store.

A/N: Alright. Chapter… Five? Yeah. If you liked it, review!