Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy:

The Adventures of a Demented Boy

The Reason I Had To Visit A Muggle Doctor

July 25:

They call it the kissing disease. Yup that's right. So let me tell you the story. I attended a party at Pansy's house.

I entered at ten o'clock sharp. The party had been going on about two hours already and I'm never on time for those things. Who wants to be the first one at a party unless they're throwing it themselves? So there were girls galore. Dressed in skimpy out fits and three-inch heels with the longest most beautiful legs you'd ever see, and apparently a lot of mono. Well, I fell into pace with every one else instantly. You people know me. I go well with anything. Even gays!

So I was sitting on Pansy' couch when this girl came and sat down right on top of me. She was fine as wine as they say.

"Hi there," she said. "What's your name?"

"You don't know?" I asked my eyebrow raised.

"Let's see," she murmured. "Blonde hair, gray eyes, pale skin, permanent smirk, and a great body. You must be Draco Malfoy."

Seeing as I'd never met this girl before, I was actually quite surprised, and impressed. And in love.

"And who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Pansy's cousin," she replied. My eyes widened.

"You're shitting me?" I asked. I had no idea it was even possible that Pansy could have someone as gorgeous as this in her gene pool.

"Nope," she said. "I'm Ashlynn Parkinson," she said.

So yeah. I'm sure you can see where that's going. Although I'm not sure if that's who I got the kissing disease from. But yeah, I took Pansy's cousin that night and when I woke up in the morning both Pansy and Ashlynn were laying with me and a bunch of those muggle rubber contraptions were all over the bed. I haven't decided if I like those or not… And about a week later, I got a sore throat and severe fatigue. Goody.

Anyway, that stupid wrinkly doctor said it sometimes takes a little for the symptoms to show up. And he prodded at me with his nasty rubbery gloved hands. Then he declared to my mother that I had mono. Neither of us knew what the hell that was but yes.

Turns out Blaise ended up with it too. I think I shared a drink with him…

A/N: I know it's been forever and I'm sorry. Sometimes I just loose my enthusiasm and get a total block going. So here it is. Kinda lame I know but it's all I could come up with.