His realization just made his hasty comment earlier that day even more foolish. He watched Kari dance gracefully with Aragorn across the dance floor, capturing the attention of many male elves - not that she was noticing. When the song ended and another began, an elf Legolas did not know asked her to dance and she accepted. Aragorn sat back down with Arwen and Legolas went over to greet them.
"Hello, Legolas," Arwen greeted, smiling.
He gave her a small smile. "Hello Arwen, Aragorn." He sipped a drink and watched Kari dance.
"She looks lovely today, doesn't she?" Aragorn asked, teasing Legolas lightly. Arwen smiled.
"Who?" Legolas asked innocently.
"Kari," Arwen answered.
Legolas shrugged and continued to watch her dance. Yes, she did look lovely. How could he have been such a fool? When did this change in feeling occur? He knew he harbored more-than-friendly feelings toward her when they had fought the orcs. Did his feelings extend even further back than that occasion? He did not know, but what mattered was that now he clearly saw how much he loved her.
When the song ended, Kari made her way over to Arwen and Aragorn and noticed that Legolas was sitting with them.
"Hello, Kari," Legolas greeted, trying to ascertain how she was feeling after his stupidity that afternoon. He inhaled deeply to calm his nerves. Since when did the mere presence of her cause these awkward feelings inside him?
"Hello, Master Legolas," she replied neutrally.
Aragorn and Arwen looked at the two strangely, wondering if this "Master" title was a game, but it did not look like it was. Kari never called Legolas "Master."
Legolas inwardly cringed at the name, but he knew why she was treating him like how she would treat a teacher.
"Kari?" a voice called from behind.
Kari turned around to be met by a young elf. "Hello."
"May I have this dance?" he asked.
Kari smiled politely. "Certainly," she replied. They went to the dance floor.
When Kari was out of hearing range, Aragorn asked, "What happened?"
"I made a terrible mistake," Legolas replied, finally releasing his clenched jaw and pulling his eyes away from Kari and the elf dancing. He did not want that elf dancing with Kari, putting his hands on her waist.
"What did you do?" Arwen asked, quite concerned.
Legolas shrugged. "It does not matter now."
"Yes it does," Aragorn replied urgently. He looked at the elf for any reaction, but did not get anything. "You shall lose her, Legolas."
Legolas looked at Aragorn coldly. "I never had her," he retorted.
Aragorn shook his head as he reclined in his seat. "No, you simply never realized you did."
Legolas said nothing. Her question regarding marriage had implied that Kari at least had an infatuation with Legolas. But it was normal for one to have an infatuation for someone after spending so much time with them. Did she truly have deeper feelings for him?
"It is time you face it, mellon," Aragorn said. For years Aragorn knew of Kari's feelings for Legolas, but he had also seen how much Legolas cared for Kari. Aragorn did not think it was true love until he had seen how distraught Legolas had been when Kari had been sick after healing Aragorn two years ago. No one could be that upset over someone he did not truly love.
"Is it not a bit inappropriate? I have known her since she was a child," Legolas said quietly.
Arwen smiled. "I have known Estel for quite some time as well. Kari has grown into a wonderful woman, no longer a child. Do you see her as a child?"
Legolas thoughts turned to Kari. "Certainly not," he chocked out.
"She deserves happiness, Legolas. If you do not want to be with her, you must tell her so that she can find someone who does," Arwen said.
"I want to make her happy," Legolas said firmly.
"Then why are you sitting here?" Aragorn asked.
Despite Aragorn's words, Legolas sat there quietly for a while. The sudden clarity of his emotions was jarring but welcoming at the same time. His thoughts raced through the possibility of a life with Kari and all that would entail. He saw it so clearly, more clearly than he had seen anything in the past. And it was all possible. If she would have him, he knew he would cherish her forever. Being with her would be worth any and all consequences. And that did not scare him at all.
But wait. Wasn't this a bit hasty? He had realized he loved her only a few minutes ago, and now he wanted to share his life with her? Bare his heart and soul to her? Wasn't moving this quickly a bit too rash?
No, he did not think so. Did he not already share his life with her? Wasn't his heart and soul already hers? Even if she were to reject him, he would still love her. She would still have him even if she did not want him.
The idea of rejection settled into his conscious and he began to feel uncomfortable. How would it feel to be rejected by her? He would crumble, certainly, but he would refuse to fade. He would be adamant, try with all his might to show her how wonderful they would be together. And if she still refused him, he would leave. Move on to another place where she would just be a memory to him. He knew it was not the best plan of action, but at least he had a contingency plan. That alone gave him a bit more courage for what he knew he needed to do.
He rose from his seat and strode over to Kari before he even realized what his body was doing. She was talking politely to a few elves who worked with her in the Healer's Hall.
"Kari," he said warmly as her back still faced him.
"May I help you, Master Legolas," Kari said callously, only turning her head towards him.
Legolas gulped. She was not going to make this easy. "May I have the honor of this dance?" he asked softly but with a hint of anxiousness.
A few of the she-elves Kari had been talking to smiled tenderly at Legolas, and this did not go unnoticed by Kari. She did not want any of them dancing with him, though she had no claim on him.
"Of course," she said, placing her hand in his and allowing him to lead them to the dance floor.
Now that she was looking at him closely, she could see the rich smoothness of his dark brown tunic and swirling patterns sewn into the fabric with dark brown thread. The only adornment on the tunic was gold embroidery trim on the cuffs and collar. He looked wonderful.
Legolas wrapped an arm securely around her waist, drawing her body close to his. She was stiff in his arms, and he just pulled her closer so that her body was against his. Most dancing partners were not this close, and Kari hated the fact that her body loved the close contact with him. Why was he doing this to her? He made it clear where he thought their relationship stood. He need not try to appease her. He would have to deal with the fact that she was acting as a scorned lover would. Then again, they had never been lovers.
How would she react when she was around him after tonight? If he was as smart as she thought he was, he would know that she had deep feelings for him that he did not reciprocate. How could she be around him without suffering from awkwardness? Would he leave Rivendell because of this? Why couldn't she keep her mouth shut?
He moved his other arm to wrap around her waist, so he was hugging her securely. Kari readjusted her arms so that one rested on the side of his chest and the other was around his neck. She rested her head on his shoulder, finally relaxing against him.
They had never danced like this before.
Legolas' hands on her back brushed against her hair and the bare skin underneath it. His hands were beginning to feel numb from the oversensitivity of feeling her soft skin against his. He could hear her heart beating loudly, and he wondered if she was listening to his that was beating just as loud if not louder. He tried to formulate the words to apologize for his rash reaction earlier, but everything sounded wrong. So instead he continued to hold her as they danced.
Kari knew it was unfair of Legolas to be holding her like this when he had said he was her teacher. It made her think he did not mean those words. It made her think there was still hope for something. He had been giving her small pieces of hope for a past couple of years, only to have them ripped away by such things as Virania and harsh words. It was not fair for Legolas to give her hope once again when she knew he would take it all away in the future. She should not have hoped in the first place but could not help it. She had wanted him for too long to not allow her heart to have hope, to live off hope.
Legolas dropped his head and inhaled deeply, the scent of jasmine filling him. His nose grazed the sensitive area joining Kari's neck and shoulder, and then his lips touched the soft flesh.
Kari gasped. No, this was unfair! How could he be so awful to her? She jerked away from him, pulling his arms away from her body. Her body protested at the loss of contact, but her mind knew this was better.
"You will not play with my emotions like this," she whispered harshly to him, though unable to look into his eyes. She did not wait for a reply, but instead exited the festival and walked quickly back to her room.
She burst into her room, pulling the dress off of her body and shaking her hair loose. She grabbed her towel and entered her bathroom. She needed to wash these feelings away. Her whole body tingled from Legolas' touch. It was a feeling she did not want to suffer with but needed so badly. She knew that if she became too attached to this feeling, she would only be more hurt in the end. No matter how much she scrubbed, Legolas was a part of her. She loved him, but she hated how she loved him so deeply.
And now he knew.
She cried in the bath. She cried until she was gasping for breath. How could she live near him when he knew how she felt for him and did not return the feeling? How could he be so cruel as to kiss her neck when he did not mean anything by it?
Soon she got out of the bath and put on a loose tunic and comfortable lounging pants. She sat down in front of her mirror and combed her hair. Her face still showed evidence that she had been crying.
A soft knock on her door broke her from her reverie. She knew it was him.
She inhaled deeply and opened the door to her living room. She did not greet him but instead walked into her bedroom to continue combing her hair.
Legolas sighed as he followed her into her bedroom. He knew he had dealt with this whole thing poorly. His complete lack of tact led to this entire mess.
"I am sorry," he said as he watched her comb her hair.
She looked at him through the mirror. Her eyes were so hard, but her body trembled ever so slightly. She was upset but breaking inside. He caused that.
"I..." Legolas trailed off.
If he said what he came here to say, everything would change. But everything had already changed. He knew his feelings for her were no longer that of just a friend and whether or not he faced up to that tonight or later, his life would be different. She had managed to capture his heart without ever knowing it was for the taking. It was too late to turn back.
He was already hers; he had been for a long time.
Kari kept on waiting for him to say something, anything. She hated herself for clinging onto every word he spoke. But she could not help it. She waited, but when no other words followed she grew restless.
She rose from her seat in front of the mirror to face Legolas. "I must go to bed, it has been a long day and..."
"I lied," Legolas said hurriedly.
She looked at him quizzically. "When?"
Legolas stared at the ground for a while, not sure how to proceed. "This afternoon. I would be honored. Most honored," he replied, gathering the courage to look straight into her eyes.
Her eyes widened as she stared at him.
"What?"
"I…" Legolas could not continue, for he did not know what to say. Instead, he closed the distance between them and did what he should have done months, maybe years, ago.
He kissed her - tentatively at first, trying to sense any hesitation on her part, but there was none. She kissed him back earnestly and he returned the passionate kiss. He held her tightly as her hands moved to the nape of his neck and held him there. He didn't know how long they kissed, but his lips tingled from the contact, almost to the point of feeling burned. He welcomed the feeling, as though he was meant to do this, meant to feel this. In that single kiss Kari felt all her love for Legolas pour out. She had been keeping it inside for so long, and finally, she let it all go. An invisible vice released her heart and she gave in to the kiss completely. And when the kiss was over, she felt a complete blur of emotion, but it was so completely right.
"I love you, Kari," Legolas said softly, once their lips parted.
Did she just hear him correctly? She smiled widely for just a moment before her mind cleared from the trance Legolas' lips had put her under. Her eyes widened and she pulled out of his embrace, very scared. How long had she dreamt of this moment? But only now did the consequences slam into her consciousness. What an unfair time to realize the doom of such feelings!
Legolas' fear that she did not return his feelings was confirmed. His mind began racing with images of his departure in heartbreak.
"No," she said.
"What?"
"You cannot love me," she said sternly.
"I do, Kari," Legolas replied.
"No. Not me," she said, more certain this time.
"I do not want anyone else," he said, cupping her face with one hand and wrapping the other arm around her waist. He gathered courage from the idea that she did not reject him directly.
"No, no, Legolas, you cannot. I shall die, and then what? Will you fade? You will suffer, you...no, do not, please. It is doomed," she said, pushing away from him again.
Part of her could not believe she was inflicting this pain upon herself. He loved her! She should just leap into his arms and confess her love for him! Let them deal with the consequences years from now! But no, Kari would not allow herself to commit such recklessness when Legolas' well-being was in jeopardy. She loved him too much to do such a thing. .
"Kari, I am aware of what may happen to me if I were to be with you for your life. I know the consequences. But I look no further for love and contentment, and I never will."
Kari said nothing, what could she say? She loved him, she loved him so much that she wanted to lie to him and say that she didn't love him if that meant he would be safe. She had dreamt about this moment forever, but its reality was so much harsher than her fantasies. In her fantasies, she never felt this underlying current of guilt. Assuming this admission of love meant he wanted to be with her, was she not dooming Legolas to fade once she was gone?
"Kari, if you do not love me then say so," Legolas dared her, coming closer to her once again.
She wanted to lie for his sake in the end. But she couldn't. Her heart had gone through too many years of hoping that it just would not allow this chance to pass. She knew she was being selfish, but she could not help it.
"It has always been you, Legolas. I have always loved you," Kari replied softly.
Legolas sighed, relieved. And then the words actually registered in his mind.
She loved him.
He smiled widely and kissed her again with fervor. When they parted, she stayed against his chest for a while, trying to process what was going on. He combed his fingers through her hair soothingly and pressed his lips against her temple. He was so happy yet so worried at the same time. Could he give her everything she deserved? He would try.
"Kari," he whispered as she rested her head against his chest.
"Yes?" she asked. Her mind, her heart, and her body tingled with the events of this whole day. She went from thinking Legolas did not care for her to knowing he loved her. How strange things turned out, but she could not complain. Things have a time and a place – she was so grateful this time and place was for their love. Their love. What a wonderful idea.
"I want to be the one to make you happy," Legolas said.
Kari smiled warmly as she relished the feeling of his hands on her back. "You always were."
Legolas seemed to become a bit flustered, which was quite endearing to Kari. "What I mean to say is that I want to be with you, and only you."
"Legolas…" she whispered.
"With my complete heart and soul I bind myself to you forever," he said softly in a tone of reverence and formality. He let out a soft chuckled and added lightheartedly, "I think I had bound myself to you long before. I am sorry for never realizing it. I must be becoming foolish in my old age."
Kari stiffened when she heard those long-desired words escape his lips. This was not real. He did not just promise to be with her forever. How could this be happening after so much wishing and hoping and waiting? It is one thing to imagine sharing a life with Legolas, it was another thing entirely to have it as an actual possibility.
"Kari?" Legolas asked. Utter silence on her part was not the response he was hoping for. "And what of your fate after I am gone? Please think carefully about what you are saying," Kari said, giving him every opportunity to escape this doom that seemed unavoidable.
Legolas looked at her grimly. What did she think he wanted from her if not to be with her for as long as possible? "I want to be with you for the rest of your life. Do not fear things that we do not know will happen," he said, trying to quell her fears.
He did not fear his future after Kari was gone, but he feared a life without her when she was here. He was no longer jaded as he had been when he first arrived in Rivendell. She gave him hope and peace. Spending an eternity without her love would not be a life he would consider.
"I fear because I care," Kari said.
"I know. Remember once I told you the one who loves you would willingly make any sacrifice to be with you because to him it would not be a sacrifice?" he asked.
She remembered. It had been when he had accidentally cut her while practicing the day after her encounter with Estorel. She nodded.
"I do just that," Legolas said simply. "Any consequence would not be a sacrifice."
She looked at his eyes and saw the honesty within them. She heart swelled with unnamable emotions. She had doomed herself to a life of pining for Legolas, but now he was hers and she was simply amazed at this course of events. Perhaps in the morning it would sort itself out in her head, but as of now she was still stunned.
She knew she would not convince him to change his mind, and she selfishly did not want him to. They deserved a chance at happiness, no matter how short that happiness may be.
She inhaled deeply and prepared to say words she never thought she would ever say in reality. "With my complete heart and soul I bind myself to you forever," she said, repeating the words Legolas he just said to her earlier. "I do not remember a time when I was not bound to you," she added quietly.
Legolas smiled widely. His heart felt full and contentment raced through his body. Kari smiled at seeing his large grin. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she kissed him. It was a slow kiss filled with promise and hope for their future. When they parted, she hugged him tightly and giggled with happiness. She was with the one she loved and could not contain the feeling anymore. She had not giggled since she was a child. Hearing such sound escape her body, Legolas knew he would spend the rest of her life trying to hear it again.
They were bound to each other. Body, mind, heart and soul. Neither one would have ever anticipated it at the beginning of the day, but now, neither one could imagine ending the evening any other way.
"Legolas?" she asked softly once her giggles subsided and her head rested against his shoulder.
"Yes?"
"Will you stay here with me tonight?" she asked boldly.
"Kari..." Legolas started. Was she asking for…
She silenced him with a passionate kiss that showed him exactly what she wanted.
"Are you sure?" Legolas asked. He did not need this, well, at least right then.
She smiled. "I would be honored," she replied.
Author's Note: The long awaited chapter. So now, Legolas and Kari and bound to each other. I'd like to think of it as marriage without the ceremony. It may seem a bit quick, but at the same time it was a long time coming. I'm interested in how you all view this recently development. I also hope you like the long chapter. I didn't want to break up the flow of this whole scene. The Council of Elrond is still a month away, but events happening before then are creeping up onto the characters. And now that they are together, it will create interesting dynamics. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for all the support.
