Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely

Chapter 7

Kaitlyn sat in her room working on her music. It was a Saturday night and she had absolutely nothing better to do. It had been a week since her dinner with Jeff and he hadn't called. Maybe he changed his mind about her. Maybe the very ugly details of her life really had gotten to him and he realized that she wasn't worth the trouble.

"But he sounded so sincere." She thought out loud. "Kona? Kona baby where are you?" Kaitlyn yelled towards the door. "You haven't spent any time with mommy since I picked you up yesterday." Kaitlyn said as Kona ran and jumped up beside her on the bed. "Are you hungry? Let's go see what we have in the kitchen." Kaitlyn said picking Kona up and walking downstairs. She was halfway down the hall when the phone rang. "It couldn't be…could it?" Kaitlyn asked Kona before making a beeline to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Kaitlyn its Bella."

"Oh, hi Bella. What's up?"

"You sound disappointed to hear from old Bella, expecting someone else maybe?"

"Who else would I possibly be expecting?"

"Jeff of course."

"No Bella I actually think I scared him off, which when I think about it might be the best thing."

"Why do you think you scared him?"

"I told him everything last week and I haven't heard from him since then."

"Well Bella has heard from him. Everyday when he drops Elyssa off he ask about you. He seemed a little disappointed when I told him that you won't be training for a few weeks and he seemed even more disappointed when I told him you were no longer staying upstairs."

"Really, what does he ask exactly?"

"He just wants to know when you will be back at the gym and why you are taking time off."

"And what did you tell him?"

"That you had pulled a hamstring."

"Good. The less he knows the better."

"He also asked for your telephone number."

"Did you give it to him?" Kaitlyn asked hopefully.

"No; I told him that it wasn't my place to give out that information."

"Oh." Kaitlyn said with a sigh.

"You didn't want me to give it to him did you?"

"I wouldn't have cared if you did."

"Want me to give it to him when Elyssa comes on Monday?"

"No Bella that's alright."

"You sure?"

"Yes Bella I'm sure."

"Ok, Bella won't say a word."

"Thanks Bella. Hey I was thinking that I would stop by next week sometime, you know just so I won't have to be home alone all week."

"Sure munchkin, but remember no training until you are all better."

"I know, I know. Doctor's orders."

"Not just doctor's orders, but Bella's orders."

"Thanks for calling and checking on me."

"That's what Bella is for."

"Goodnight Bella."

"Goodnight Kaitlyn try and get some sleep."

"I will Bella. I promise." Kaitlyn said before hanging up the phone.

After feeding Kona and eating her salad Kaitlyn decided to just go to bed. It was only 10:30 but there was nothing left to do. Kaitlyn tossed and turned for what seemed like forever, she finally fell asleep just to be awakened by the phone at 1 am.

"Bella, this better be important."

"Sorry sweetheart it's not Bella."

"Jeff?" Kaitlyn asked shocked.

"The one and only. I'm sorry to be calling so late, it sounds like I woke you."

"You kinda did. How did you get the number?"

"I have my ways."

"So I see. So how can I help you tonight?"

"Come over to my place."

"Keep dreaming."

"Why not?"

"Because it's one in the morning."

"But I really want to see you."

"It's good to want things."

"Come over Kaitlyn, please."

"Don't beg Jeff you sound like a dog."

"What about crying, will it help if I cry?"

"Probably not."

"Damn! So what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know."

"Can I come over there?"

"Jeff…"

"Oh come on give a guy a break. You're all I've been thinking about this last week."

"What would we do if you came over?"

"Whatever you wanted to do sweetheart. Your wish is my command."

"Awww Silk, you make it hard to say no."

"Then don't say no."

"What about Elyssa? You can't just leave her home alone."

"She's with my brother."

"Alright Jeff you can come over, but know that nothing and I do mean nothing is going to happen."

"Understood."

"See you when you get here."

"I can't wait." Jeff said before the line went dead.

"Jeff Hardy is coming here, to my house, and I'm wearing Scooby-do pajamas." Kaitlyn said jumping up out of bed and running into the bathroom to shower and change. Just as she finished blow drying her hair Kaitlyn heard the doorbell. She calmly walked down the stairs and opened the door to a smiling Jeff.

"I was going to bring flowers but I don't know what kind you like."

"Orchids." Kaitlyn answered.

"Ok so our next date I'll bring you Orchids."

"Next date? We haven't even been on one yet."

"Oh sure we have, last week, dinner. Remember?"

"That was a date?"

"When two people who like each other have dinner together and talk about their life that constitutes a date."

"I see. Thanks for clarifying that for me."

"Anytime beautiful." Jeff said with a smile.

"So….what now?"

"How about you give me a tour of the house?"

"Sure, it's not much but whatever. We can start down here. The living room is to you left. That's where Kona and I chill every night and watch T.V. go through that door and it leads to the den, well actually I converted it into a little homemade studio."

"Studio, huh? You spend much time in there?"

"Only when I'm not training. I've actually just finished recording a demo now all I gotta do is get someone to listen to it."

"I'm sure you will."

"Yeah well I'm not holding my breath. Come on I'll show you the rest of the place." After Kaitlyn showed Jeff the downstairs they headed upstairs.

"Do I get to see the master bedroom?" Jeff asked raising an eyebrow and walking closer to Kaitlyn.

"Jeff…"

"Come on Kaitlyn let's be honest here. I want you and by the way you look at me you want me too, so why not give in to what we both want?"

"I told you that nothing was going to happen tonight Jeff and if you can't respect that and accept that then maybe you should just leave. I don't even know why I let you come over in the first place."

"You let me come over because you want me here." Jeff said making Kaitlyn look at him.

"No, I don't know what I want." Kaitlyn said pulling away.

"Yes, you do. You want me admit it."

"Get out."

"Look me in my eyes and say that you don't want this and I'll leave and I'll never bother you again."

"Get out!" Kaitlyn said again this time with more force than before.

"Not until you say it."

"There's nothing to say."

"Say it!" Jeff demanded.

"What do you want from me, huh? Do you want me to say that I like you? Well I do I like you a lot. Do you want me to say I'm scared, because I'm terrified."

"There's no reason to be scared of me."

"Don't you get it? I'm not just scared of you I'm scared of all men. Just the thought of being close to men makes me sick."

"Kaitlyn I know that you had a hard life and that it's not easy for you to trust but I swear you can trust me. I would never do anything to hurt you in any way." Jeff said lifting Kaitlyn's head and gently kissing her. "But if you still want me to go, I'll go." Jeff said as he traced Kaitlyn's neck with his lips.

"No, I don't want you to go."

"Let me spend the night."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because my heart isn't listening to my head and if I let you stay…"

"And if you let me stay then…what?"

"I don't know if I could control what I'm feeling right now."

"Don't try and control it, just let it come natural." Jeff said kissing Kaitlyn once again.

"I can't have sex with someone who doesn't love me."

"What if I said I did love you?"

"I would say that you were full of shit because that's impossible. We haven't even known each other two weeks."

"It only takes a day to fall in love Kaitlyn."

"Maybe in movies, but this is real life."

"You said it yourself; you can't control your heart."

"I can't take the chance."

"What chance?"

"That we have sex or make love or whatever you want to call it and afterwards you just blow me off, treat me as if I was just a booty call or something."

"Do you really think I would do that to you?"

"That's just it, I don't know if you would or wouldn't."

"Look at me Kaitlyn and listen to what I'm about to say. I want to be with you in every way imaginable if you'll let me."

"This is too much to take in right now. I think I need to lye down." Kaitlyn said walking into her bedroom. It was almost as if she was in a trance. She didn't say another word just pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. When she woke up the next morning she was alone once again. "Was last night just a dream?" She asked herself. "If it was I hope I have it again tonight." She smiled at the thought. She had been up for a few hours before she heard someone at the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Jeff."

"Jeff? What are you doing here?" Kaitlyn asked opening the door.

"I wanted to apologize for last night, and I bought you these." Jeff said pulling a bouquet of orchids from behind his back.

"There is no need to apologize."

"Are you sure? I mean you kinda turned into a zombie on me after that last kiss."

"I know I was just so confused and you weren't making things easy."

"So are you going to slap me again?"

"No, not yet anyway. Want to come in I was just about to fix breakfast."

"Let's go out to breakfast, my treat."

"Ok."

"Really, that easy you're not gonna fight me on it?"

"No, I'm hungry and I don't really feel like cooking anyway, so let's go."

"Alright my dear you chariot awaits." Jeff said motioning towards his car.

"I'm right behind ya." Kaitlyn said locking the door and following Jeff.